5 ms·

What was her complaint exactly? Are men not supposed to ask her out?

by kd3 7y ago

AgentOrange1234 7y ago
Uh, it’s certainly not appropriate to ask someone you’ve just met at a technical conference to go on a date with you.
- Freak_NL 7y ago
  Why not? It's a bit direct and perhaps odd and unexpected, but also polite, possibly flattering, and a very decent way of taking a chance on getting to know someone who you will likely not meet again unless you take action, better. If the response to the rejection of that offer is polite and professional, then how is this inappropriate?
  - filoleg 7y ago
    As one of the people he asked out mentioned, his response to the rejection was anything but appropriate (he threatened to kill himself) [0]. 0. https://medium.com/@selamie/remove-richard-stallman-appendix-a-a7e41e784f88 https://medium.com/@selamie/remove-richard-stallman-appendix...
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]
  - AgentOrange1234 7y ago
    It’s appropriate at a bar. It’s not appropriate at a professional conference or at work. Especially with the age / seniority difference, this is textbook sexual harassment.
    - viklove 7y ago
      > this is textbook sexual harassment Saying that doesn't make it so, you have to actually back your claim up with some reasoning.
      - AgentOrange1234 7y ago
        Fair enough, but that knife cuts both ways. Explain how it is not. Explain why any young woman in tech would want to go to a conference where a bunch of old guys think it’s perfectly ok to treat her like a potential mate, instead of a colleague with a brain and technical background worth learning from and mentoring. Explain why she should have to put up with shit like this, while her male peers do not.
rabidrat 7y ago
Kind of gross for a guy in his 40s to be asking out a 19-year-old freshman at the university he's a professor at, isn't it? And in the first minute of their first conversation, and with no interest in her other than that. Also I'd say she wasn't complaining, or trying to condemn him. The facts kind of speak for themselves though--this is not a guy who makes women feel welcome.
- zelphirkalt 7y ago
  Maybe he was hoping to date an intelligent woman, who would not judge him for his looks and got rejected, for whatever reason we do not know. However, thanks to your comment, we now know, why you would reject another person and it has everything to do with outward appearance. Thanks for informing us. It seems, that she acted in an acceptable and correct way. Nothing wrong with rejecting someone. The only bad thing is, that some Internet person will come around and interpret her actions with an exclusive view on superficial appearance issues.
  - pseudalopex 7y ago
    Who said anything about appearance?
fauigerzigerk 7y ago
I think it's OK for men to ask her out, unless those men have so much power over her that she might feel compelled to say yes for fear of negative consequences.
filoleg 7y ago
I dont know whether what i heard refers to this specific incident, but i remember hearing about RMS asking someone out on a date, and after a rejection, he threatened to kill himself if she won’t go out with him [0]. And that’s not mentioning his infamous mattress in the office and how he propositioned to many of the female visitors to lay down on it topless [1] (i realize that i am citing reddit comments, but the OP seems pretty credible). This would be a problematic behavior for virtually anyone, but moreso for a public figure at a prestigious university. 0. https://medium.com/@selamie/remove-richard-stallman-appendix-a-a7e41e784f88 https://medium.com/@selamie/remove-richard-stallman-appendix... 1. https://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/d59r46/comment/f0kpd5w https://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/d59r46/comment...
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
rasz 7y ago
Only good looking ones.

What was her complaint exactly? Are men not supposed to ask her out?

by kd3 7y ago

What was her complaint exactly? Are men not supposed to ask her out?

AgentOrange1234 7y ago

Uh, it’s certainly not appropriate to ask someone you’ve just met at a technical conference to go on a date with you.

Freak_NL 7y ago
Why not? It's a bit direct and perhaps odd and unexpected, but also polite, possibly flattering, and a very decent way of taking a chance on getting to know someone who you will likely not meet again unless you take action, better. If the response to the rejection of that offer is polite and professional, then how is this inappropriate?
- filoleg 7y ago
  As one of the people he asked out mentioned, his response to the rejection was anything but appropriate (he threatened to kill himself) [0]. 0. https://medium.com/@selamie/remove-richard-stallman-appendix-a-a7e41e784f88 https://medium.com/@selamie/remove-richard-stallman-appendix...
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
- AgentOrange1234 7y ago
  It’s appropriate at a bar. It’s not appropriate at a professional conference or at work. Especially with the age / seniority difference, this is textbook sexual harassment.
  - viklove 7y ago
    > this is textbook sexual harassment Saying that doesn't make it so, you have to actually back your claim up with some reasoning.
    - AgentOrange1234 7y ago
      Fair enough, but that knife cuts both ways. Explain how it is not. Explain why any young woman in tech would want to go to a conference where a bunch of old guys think it’s perfectly ok to treat her like a potential mate, instead of a colleague with a brain and technical background worth learning from and mentoring. Explain why she should have to put up with shit like this, while her male peers do not.

rabidrat 7y ago

Kind of gross for a guy in his 40s to be asking out a 19-year-old freshman at the university he's a professor at, isn't it? And in the first minute of their first conversation, and with no interest in her other than that. Also I'd say she wasn't complaining, or trying to condemn him. The facts kind of speak for themselves though--this is not a guy who makes women feel welcome.

zelphirkalt 7y ago
Maybe he was hoping to date an intelligent woman, who would not judge him for his looks and got rejected, for whatever reason we do not know. However, thanks to your comment, we now know, why you would reject another person and it has everything to do with outward appearance. Thanks for informing us. It seems, that she acted in an acceptable and correct way. Nothing wrong with rejecting someone. The only bad thing is, that some Internet person will come around and interpret her actions with an exclusive view on superficial appearance issues.
- pseudalopex 7y ago
  Who said anything about appearance?

fauigerzigerk 7y ago

I think it's OK for men to ask her out, unless those men have so much power over her that she might feel compelled to say yes for fear of negative consequences.

filoleg 7y ago

I dont know whether what i heard refers to this specific incident, but i remember hearing about RMS asking someone out on a date, and after a rejection, he threatened to kill himself if she won’t go out with him [0]. And that’s not mentioning his infamous mattress in the office and how he propositioned to many of the female visitors to lay down on it topless [1] (i realize that i am citing reddit comments, but the OP seems pretty credible). This would be a problematic behavior for virtually anyone, but moreso for a public figure at a prestigious university. 0. https://medium.com/@selamie/remove-richard-stallman-appendix-a-a7e41e784f88 https://medium.com/@selamie/remove-richard-stallman-appendix... 1. https://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/d59r46/comment/f0kpd5w https://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/d59r46/comment...

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

rasz 7y ago

Only good looking ones.