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Just FYI, “have no close friend” and “loneliness” aren’t the same thing. I have no close friends, and I prefer it. Don’t try to “cure” people like me.
by garmaine 7y ago
Just FYI, “have no close friend” and “loneliness” aren’t the same thing. I have no close friends, and I prefer it. Don’t try to “cure” people like me.
- dwaltrip 7y agoWhy do you prefer it?
- garmaine 7y agoI’m an introvert. People drain me. I find fulfillment in the world around me and my hobbies. I’m on HN not to be social but to learn things. I don’t need validation from others. I don’t hate human interaction either. I have friends. I just don’t NEED them, and don’t need to go seeking them or be especially close.
- lonelappde 7y agoI'm curious if you will retain this preference as you get older and physical frailty starts to appear in your life, or you lose your source of income.
- jliptzin 7y agoHas nothing to do with it. I am like him. People drain me whether I'm young or old, rich or poor.
- dwaltrip 7y agoThanks for sharing.
- crimsonalucard 7y agoI would say you're the biological anomaly. Humans are social creatures. Much or our society is defined by our achievements as a group then individually. I would say the op very accurately describes a general problem.
- AstralStorm 7y agoCalling north of 16% of world population an anomaly stinks of racism. Most people are not extroverts either, but extroverts in western culture get a pat on the back and a raise. Not as much elsewhere. It's not a binary variable, but a spectrum.
- crimsonalucard 7y agoCalling me a racist stinks of accusatory witch hunting. You can lose a job for this kind of thing and you dare to call me that? You don't go around accusing people people of smelling like a nazi yet you can go around saying that I smell like a racist? Let me be utterly clear with you. I am not racist. Not one bone of my body is. And it is an extreme and personal insult to suggest that I am. There will be no further communication between us. You second paragraph seems to continue onto an informed discussion that's not going to continue because of the immature comment in your first sentence.
- stagas 7y agoYou go around calling people biological anomalies and you're pretending to be the victim in this situation? Jeez.
- crimsonalucard 7y agoi can wiggle my ears at will... most of the population can't... thats a biological anomaly. This is an entirely different thing then Racism. Know the difference. Let's not let political correctness erase our ability to state things we believe to be biological facts. If I were to say that you are an inferior race because you can or can't wiggle your ears and therefore must have inferior treatment.... THAT is racism. But the fact that I can wiggle my ears... well there's no denying that this ability is anomalous as I am simply describing a feature of reality as we know it..
- Hermandw 7y agoUnfortunately most people don't realize or understand that almost all the variables of being human lies on a spectrum. This includes length, weight, body type, colour, gender, sexuality, gregariousness, aptitudes, interests, intelligence, etc. Calling someone an anomaly for falling on one end of any of these traits is definitely ignorance and discrimination akin to racism.
- buro9 7y agoIt's OK, you're safe. I never used those words, and given that it requires some effort on your part nothing will happen unless you want it to.
- DoofusOfDeath 7y agoHas this been a problem in the past? From your phrasing, it sounds like a pet peeve.
- jhayward 7y agoIntroverts are often harassed with "why are you so quiet?" and "why don't you <do activity xyz>?" questions that seem innocent, but are actually attacks by people who are unable to let them be themselves.
- Doubl 7y agoThe well meaning extrovert person who introduces you to someone by saying, this is x, he's really shy. Anyone had that, ever? They might as well dig a hole for you.
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- hombre_fatal 7y agoSomeone wrote this and had deleted their comment when I went to reply to them, but I thought it was on point, so now I'm saying it: Curious, why you took offense to OPs post? If you are enjoying not having close friends, then good for you, really. This thread doesn't apply to you. You remind me of Ricky Gervais' Guitar Lessons bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3dxMGzt5mU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3dxMGzt5mU In summary, it's like calling up a guitar teacher and telling them you don't want to learn guitar. Why call?
- garmaine 7y agoI didn’t take offense. Did it read that way? He is on a self-professed quest to cure loneliness, and seems to equate that with not having close friendships. I just want to make sure he is aware there is a distinction and not everyone classifies that way.
- omginternets 7y ago>He is on a self-professed quest to cure loneliness It seemed to me that he was on a quest to cure his loneliness. Point is: It's interesting (perhaps even revealing) that you read it differently. If it's not a problem, then it's not a problem. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
- garmaine 7y agoIf so, I misread it. But going back I still can't see that interpretation. > The lofty goal of the startup was to "cure loneliness" but I never told the users that. And then he talks about building features for users to take their conversations offline. I mean maybe it was all for himself, but it seems like the goal was to get users to build long-lasting relationships. Which is commendable, and I commend him for it. It sounds like an awesome project.
- jackbravo 7y agoWith his ending I also implied it was to cure his loneliness: > If I were lonely today, I would say...
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]