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You are describing being "alone", not being "lonely". Lonely, is defined as "sad because one has no friends or company". Which I would say is unfortunately com
by kempbellt 7y ago
You are describing being "alone", not being "lonely".
Lonely, is defined as "sad because one has no friends or company". Which I would say is unfortunately common in the modern world, where we believe the internet to connect people, but in reality it socially isolates.
Alone, simply meaning "having no one else present", is not that bad, no, until you start to feel lonely. I enjoy alone time for the same reasons you describe. However, too much of it leads to feelings of loneliness.
An ironic aside. I think many people, deep down, would rather feel slightly annoyed by turning down or avoiding social situations with friends, than to not have those situations available to them in the first place.
- Abishek_Muthian 7y agoYou're correct, by your definition I'm both alone and lonely. Lonely makes me sad but has improved productivity, where as socializing gave me what I would describe as 'Short term happiness which seemed fake & ridden with guilt later'.
- lolinder 7y agoThat doesn't sound like a very healthy outlook on life. Trading social belonging for productivity is a Faustian deal if I've ever seen one, and a deal likely to lead to burnout and depression. If socializing leaves you ridden with guilt for lost productivity, I'd recommend a paradigm shift.
- Abishek_Muthian 7y agoNot guilty for lost productivity, but for having to fake emotions, showing interest in conversations which I have no real interest and most of all feeling powerless to cure problems of people when they tell about it.
- kempbellt 7y agoFood for thought. Have you tried interacting socially without faking your emotions, pretending to be interested in things you aren't, and not trying to cure other peoples' problems?
- Ma8ee 7y agoWhy is high productivity important to you? This is an honest question.
- username90 7y agoIt is fun to be productive. Being the best performer on your team can make work very enjoyable. Also it is not fun to be unproductive. Being the worst performer on your team can make work very stressful. Also it helps with promotions and therefore money if you work at a decent place. If you work on your own project your productivity matters even more.
- Ma8ee 7y agoThe question was directed to Abishek, and I didn’t ask about general advantages of productivity. As you have noticed, they are easy to enumerate.
- Abishek_Muthian 7y agoI was running a startup quite successfully for 5 years as a single founder, single executive from an environment without a startup ecosystem. I recruited and trained employees personally; productivity became a necessity and a habit. Had to close the startup due to physical health problems, now that I'm rebuilding my life I guess productivity has become more important.
- Ma8ee 7y agoOf course productivity is important, but it isn't an end in itself. Neither are high incomes or appearences of success. If you are lonely and have to sacrifice your health you really have to start thinking about what it is all for.
- Abishek_Muthian 7y agoI agree completely, I'm cautious about physical health now and doesn't trade it for anything. But, that has resulted in me having very little time for productive work and hence I'm in a situation where I need to optimise every bit for it.