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I just switched from a job where I could work from home anytime I wanted (which meant everyone on my team did so 100% of the time) to a job that requires everyo

I just switched from a job where I could work from home anytime I wanted (which meant everyone on my team did so 100% of the time) to a job that requires everyone to be in the office 90% of the time because I want more face-to-face human interaction in my life. The convenience was great but, on the whole, it made me less happy.

sscarduzio 7y ago
how about joining the gym instead?
- almost_usual 7y ago
  I’ve been going to the gym at least 4 days a week for years. Unless you’re into a specific niche thing it’s hard to socialize. I’ve found it easier to talk to others after getting into powerlifting. Most people at the gym have headphones in and are grinding out a workout as quickly as they can because they’re busy. At least that’s how it feels in SF.
  - sscarduzio 7y ago
    Oh sorry I didn't mean that kind of gym. I joined a martial arts (muay Thai) gym and it was a great life changer. I don't want to fight, but I train hard with actual fighters and it's very bonding. Sharing "pain" and passion with others created common ground with people that I had very little in common in the beginning (i.e. non tech, different age)
almost_usual 7y ago
I’m in this exact situation. Looking for a new job now.
dleslie 7y ago
I've been working from home for nearly five years now; it's been fantastically convenient while I raise my daughters. While I have found that my adult social interactions are severely limited, I am no worse off than my old friends; one of whom remarked that after moving to Montreal he's seeing friends and family just as often as he did before. Where I find adult interaction is in more traditional venues: I made an effort to get to know my neighbours, and am acquainted with some staff and patrons at the local pub. The key was not to rely on scheduled events; too many adults will ghost or reject because they feel too busy or weary to attend. Impromptu social interaction works better; have a beer with your neigh bour.
- Faark 7y ago
  > I made an effort to get to know my neighbours, and am acquainted with some staff and patrons at the local pub. I wouldn't even know how to approach that. Feel like this requires a lot of knowledge/skill that my path through life didn't teach me.
  - dleslie 7y ago
    Talking about the weather, remarking on their gardens, and wishing them happiness and good health; these are all acceptable openers. Most people love to talk about themselves, so if they give you some personal information it's safe to inquire further about it, most of the time. Cut it off before you turn it into an interrogation.
heavenlyblue 7y ago
I’ve worked from home for the past 9 years (doing software contracting) starting first year of my degree and up until now (20-28 years old). I am specifically asking every one of my future employers for more of the office hours. I can’t stand the lack of everyday interactions.
alexis_fr 7y ago
Isolation at the job is a problem too. As a programmer in a famous startup who’s grown to thousands employees, we discussed by Slack and didn’t shake hands in the office. I felt less lonely alone at home than at the office... So I became independent and the same happened at the first coworking: More lonely when surrounded with « commercial friends ». The second coworking had a great group spirit and I deeply loved them, but unfortunately they also didn’t like my capitalist stances (most of them were employed) or the fact that I don’t adhere to ideas like « men can’t do two things at once, while women can » so they ended up rejecting me (it perhaps has to do with autistic traits I have, I don’t seem to say what the group wants me to say, when it is demonstrably false). So again: in a group, if you feel no solidarity from the group, then you’re alone. It got better since I accepted loneliness as a part of life. Because searching and not finding was definitely my most heartbreaking period. But it definitely feels like I’m in a hole and reducing my prospects in life.
thrower123 7y ago
I've had the complete opposite experience. For a while, I was in a situation where I went into the office one or two days a week, and worked from home the rest of the time - now I work from home one day a week, sometimes not at all. It's made me really, really hate dealing with other people, and when I go home, I want to go out in the woods or work in my garage or basement, completely, blessedly alone. Human interaction is great if it is voluntary and purposeful, but when it is just a shitty default constant, it's a prison.
Ocerge 7y ago
I start a new job on Wednesday for this exact reason. My remote gig was awesome until the depression kicked in. I didn't know that about myself; I need to physically be around other people.

sscarduzio 7y ago

how about joining the gym instead?

almost_usual 7y ago
I’ve been going to the gym at least 4 days a week for years. Unless you’re into a specific niche thing it’s hard to socialize. I’ve found it easier to talk to others after getting into powerlifting. Most people at the gym have headphones in and are grinding out a workout as quickly as they can because they’re busy. At least that’s how it feels in SF.
- sscarduzio 7y ago
  Oh sorry I didn't mean that kind of gym. I joined a martial arts (muay Thai) gym and it was a great life changer. I don't want to fight, but I train hard with actual fighters and it's very bonding. Sharing "pain" and passion with others created common ground with people that I had very little in common in the beginning (i.e. non tech, different age)

almost_usual 7y ago

I’m in this exact situation. Looking for a new job now.

dleslie 7y ago

I've been working from home for nearly five years now; it's been fantastically convenient while I raise my daughters. While I have found that my adult social interactions are severely limited, I am no worse off than my old friends; one of whom remarked that after moving to Montreal he's seeing friends and family just as often as he did before. Where I find adult interaction is in more traditional venues: I made an effort to get to know my neighbours, and am acquainted with some staff and patrons at the local pub. The key was not to rely on scheduled events; too many adults will ghost or reject because they feel too busy or weary to attend. Impromptu social interaction works better; have a beer with your neigh bour.

Faark 7y ago
> I made an effort to get to know my neighbours, and am acquainted with some staff and patrons at the local pub. I wouldn't even know how to approach that. Feel like this requires a lot of knowledge/skill that my path through life didn't teach me.
- dleslie 7y ago
  Talking about the weather, remarking on their gardens, and wishing them happiness and good health; these are all acceptable openers. Most people love to talk about themselves, so if they give you some personal information it's safe to inquire further about it, most of the time. Cut it off before you turn it into an interrogation.

heavenlyblue 7y ago

I’ve worked from home for the past 9 years (doing software contracting) starting first year of my degree and up until now (20-28 years old). I am specifically asking every one of my future employers for more of the office hours. I can’t stand the lack of everyday interactions.

alexis_fr 7y ago

Isolation at the job is a problem too. As a programmer in a famous startup who’s grown to thousands employees, we discussed by Slack and didn’t shake hands in the office. I felt less lonely alone at home than at the office... So I became independent and the same happened at the first coworking: More lonely when surrounded with « commercial friends ». The second coworking had a great group spirit and I deeply loved them, but unfortunately they also didn’t like my capitalist stances (most of them were employed) or the fact that I don’t adhere to ideas like « men can’t do two things at once, while women can » so they ended up rejecting me (it perhaps has to do with autistic traits I have, I don’t seem to say what the group wants me to say, when it is demonstrably false). So again: in a group, if you feel no solidarity from the group, then you’re alone. It got better since I accepted loneliness as a part of life. Because searching and not finding was definitely my most heartbreaking period. But it definitely feels like I’m in a hole and reducing my prospects in life.

thrower123 7y ago

I've had the complete opposite experience. For a while, I was in a situation where I went into the office one or two days a week, and worked from home the rest of the time - now I work from home one day a week, sometimes not at all. It's made me really, really hate dealing with other people, and when I go home, I want to go out in the woods or work in my garage or basement, completely, blessedly alone. Human interaction is great if it is voluntary and purposeful, but when it is just a shitty default constant, it's a prison.

Ocerge 7y ago

I start a new job on Wednesday for this exact reason. My remote gig was awesome until the depression kicked in. I didn't know that about myself; I need to physically be around other people.