4 ms·

I just don't see anything they can do to help. Most of my issues are rooted in mistakes I made and many have concrete origins that aren't something a therapist

I just don't see anything they can do to help. Most of my issues are rooted in mistakes I made and many have concrete origins that aren't something a therapist will fix.

agumonkey 7y ago
forgiviness to you to others it may very well change very concretely how you feel about past present and future Not an easy task I'll give you that
bitbuilder 7y ago
A therapist of course can't fix a mistake you made in the past. However, they will most certainly help you change the way you think about that mistake. Which can be extremely helpful in moving past those mistakes and making the best of where you find yourself now in life. I just recently started seeing a therapist, and this was a huge revelation to me. More specifically, helping me realize I was holding onto a lot of guilt over things where it made no sense to cling to that guilt. Learning to let go of that mental overhead has been extremely helpful.
jimcsharp 7y ago
I think it's really more about coping skills these days, as opposed to 'getting to the root of things and erasing them' https://blogs.psychcentral.com/practical-psychoanalysis/2015/02/how-psychoanalysis-differs-from-psychotherapy/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/practical-psychoanalysis/2015...
- chrisnaoumidis 7y ago
  100%, focusing too much on the past can leave you stuck there. Developing coping skills and new perspectives can free you from the past. It's why our sessions all focus on brief therapy and practical psychology principles.
tryitnow 7y ago
I don't think the goal is fix past things in the past - you'd need a time machine for that. Rather therapists help you not make the same mistake again. A lot of humans think "But I'll never make that mistake again!" But then they do. We're just not evolved to live in modern environments, so our brains and nervous systems lead us to do silly things. Therapists help reduce the likelihood that you keep making the same mistakes. And they provide techniques to mitigate the risks arising from new types of mistakes you might make.
scott_s 7y ago
How you think about things matters. They may help you think about you and your mistakes differently.
BeetleB 7y ago
Things changed once someone pointed out to me that almost everyone has problems of similar or greater magnitude as mine, but most of them are not sad/unhappy/depressed. Well, OK - that realization didn't make my problems go away, but it did set me down a path. As others have already said, the role of a therapist isn't to solve those problems you have in your life. They might be able to help you not get mentally affected by those problems, though. When I found out my insurance included therapy, I said "Heck, why not?" Had only 3 sessions with him. The outcome? I learned that my problems are not severe enough to warrant serious therapy (based on a heuristic they use). That's not to say I shouldn't feel bad about them or anything, but to highlight that yes, people have ups and downs, and I may have just a few more downs than the median, but I'm not far from the median. The problems I was dealing with had solutions. He outlined a few options to me and recommended some books. I picked one of the options and started reading those books (frankly, I was interested in the topic anyway). Knowing that my problems were ultimately due to the lack of a few (learnable) skills makes a big difference. And now I can see people around me who have similar issues - some who think they've got serious psychological problems - and their internal mental torment is rather sad. Agree with what others have said: Plenty of crappy therapists out there. I seem to have been lucky with mine.

I just don't see anything they can do to help. Most of my issues are rooted in mistakes I made and many have concrete origins that aren't something a therapist will fix.

agumonkey 7y ago

forgiviness to you to others it may very well change very concretely how you feel about past present and future Not an easy task I'll give you that

bitbuilder 7y ago

A therapist of course can't fix a mistake you made in the past. However, they will most certainly help you change the way you think about that mistake. Which can be extremely helpful in moving past those mistakes and making the best of where you find yourself now in life. I just recently started seeing a therapist, and this was a huge revelation to me. More specifically, helping me realize I was holding onto a lot of guilt over things where it made no sense to cling to that guilt. Learning to let go of that mental overhead has been extremely helpful.

jimcsharp 7y ago

I think it's really more about coping skills these days, as opposed to 'getting to the root of things and erasing them' https://blogs.psychcentral.com/practical-psychoanalysis/2015/02/how-psychoanalysis-differs-from-psychotherapy/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/practical-psychoanalysis/2015...

chrisnaoumidis 7y ago
100%, focusing too much on the past can leave you stuck there. Developing coping skills and new perspectives can free you from the past. It's why our sessions all focus on brief therapy and practical psychology principles.

tryitnow 7y ago

I don't think the goal is fix past things in the past - you'd need a time machine for that. Rather therapists help you not make the same mistake again. A lot of humans think "But I'll never make that mistake again!" But then they do. We're just not evolved to live in modern environments, so our brains and nervous systems lead us to do silly things. Therapists help reduce the likelihood that you keep making the same mistakes. And they provide techniques to mitigate the risks arising from new types of mistakes you might make.

scott_s 7y ago

How you think about things matters. They may help you think about you and your mistakes differently.

BeetleB 7y ago

Things changed once someone pointed out to me that almost everyone has problems of similar or greater magnitude as mine, but most of them are not sad/unhappy/depressed. Well, OK - that realization didn't make my problems go away, but it did set me down a path. As others have already said, the role of a therapist isn't to solve those problems you have in your life. They might be able to help you not get mentally affected by those problems, though. When I found out my insurance included therapy, I said "Heck, why not?" Had only 3 sessions with him. The outcome? I learned that my problems are not severe enough to warrant serious therapy (based on a heuristic they use). That's not to say I shouldn't feel bad about them or anything, but to highlight that yes, people have ups and downs, and I may have just a few more downs than the median, but I'm not far from the median. The problems I was dealing with had solutions. He outlined a few options to me and recommended some books. I picked one of the options and started reading those books (frankly, I was interested in the topic anyway). Knowing that my problems were ultimately due to the lack of a few (learnable) skills makes a big difference. And now I can see people around me who have similar issues - some who think they've got serious psychological problems - and their internal mental torment is rather sad. Agree with what others have said: Plenty of crappy therapists out there. I seem to have been lucky with mine.