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I'm struggling with this right now. My 7 year old child is "profoundly gifted" which is an IQ above 145 (he is almost 160). He is mostly a wonderful child and h

I'm struggling with this right now. My 7 year old child is "profoundly gifted" which is an IQ above 145 (he is almost 160). He is mostly a wonderful child and he is very very smart. He is well above his peers and is mostly sweet but he has extreme behavioral issues many times throughout the day. He has friends that love to play with him but like a German Shepherd, will out of nowhere attack them verbally because he perceived a slight and will scream and say horrible things. We have sent him to psychologists and behaviorists and burned through our savings and spent close to $200k over the last two years and we have run out of money. I'm getting close to the point where I accept that school isn't for him. I've been told that most schools do not cater for profoundly gifted children, especially the asynchrony of the emotional development. I don't blame the schools because children like my son are very extreme. I don't know what setting is right for him, but we have no choice but to look into home schooling, let him grow academically and in emotional peace, and maybe when his maturity increases we can reintegrate him with other children. Or maybe home schooling will be such a relief for him that his anxiety or whatever it is that is causing this will get naturally alleviated.

mumblemumble 7y ago
I'm sorry to hear about this; that sounds like a really difficult situation for everyone involved. If I can presume to mount my own soapbox in response, though: This strikes me as a symptom of the rather extreme age segregation that goes on in typical schools. I went to quite a few, and my favorite for the social environment had middle school and high school all together in one building, with a total student body of a bit over 100. And one of the neat things that happened there is that, while kids were generally age-segregated in their actual classes, we were all together for lunchtime, school plays, etc. The group of people I typically sat with at lunch time during my junior year of high school included seniors and also one 6th grader. In retrospect, I imagine that made for a better environment for everyone's social and emotional development.
- ping_pong 7y ago
  Thank you. I toyed with the idea of having him accelerated, but emotionally he is so immature that the older kids will very quickly, to be honest rightfully, ostracize him. I have noticed he does get along better with older kids, maybe because they are more predictable for him, but I'm quite sure he is mature enough to handle the higher emotional expectations of older kids.
socalnate1 7y ago
Not sure if this is helpful or not; but I have a very similar 8 year old. (Although his emotional maturity isn't quite as far behind as your child, and his response is to shut down rather than attack.) Similar challenge with IQ where he works 3-4 years ahead of grade levels and tests as profoundly gifted. We found a charter school that mixes home school and in class education. So he is in a typical school environment 2 days a week and we home school the other three days. This has been a good mix for us; he can get some socialization at school (plus other activities we are involved in). It's not as all encompassing and stressful as a full 5 day a week school would be. We can do academically advanced work 3 days a week; while still giving him a chance to work his underdeveloped social skills with a little less pressure on the system. Best of luck; parenting can be hard :)
- ping_pong 7y ago
  Thank you. This is an interesting idea. I will look to see if my area has something similar (SF Bay Area).

mumblemumble 7y ago

I'm sorry to hear about this; that sounds like a really difficult situation for everyone involved. If I can presume to mount my own soapbox in response, though: This strikes me as a symptom of the rather extreme age segregation that goes on in typical schools. I went to quite a few, and my favorite for the social environment had middle school and high school all together in one building, with a total student body of a bit over 100. And one of the neat things that happened there is that, while kids were generally age-segregated in their actual classes, we were all together for lunchtime, school plays, etc. The group of people I typically sat with at lunch time during my junior year of high school included seniors and also one 6th grader. In retrospect, I imagine that made for a better environment for everyone's social and emotional development.

ping_pong 7y ago
Thank you. I toyed with the idea of having him accelerated, but emotionally he is so immature that the older kids will very quickly, to be honest rightfully, ostracize him. I have noticed he does get along better with older kids, maybe because they are more predictable for him, but I'm quite sure he is mature enough to handle the higher emotional expectations of older kids.

socalnate1 7y ago

Not sure if this is helpful or not; but I have a very similar 8 year old. (Although his emotional maturity isn't quite as far behind as your child, and his response is to shut down rather than attack.) Similar challenge with IQ where he works 3-4 years ahead of grade levels and tests as profoundly gifted. We found a charter school that mixes home school and in class education. So he is in a typical school environment 2 days a week and we home school the other three days. This has been a good mix for us; he can get some socialization at school (plus other activities we are involved in). It's not as all encompassing and stressful as a full 5 day a week school would be. We can do academically advanced work 3 days a week; while still giving him a chance to work his underdeveloped social skills with a little less pressure on the system. Best of luck; parenting can be hard :)

ping_pong 7y ago
Thank you. This is an interesting idea. I will look to see if my area has something similar (SF Bay Area).