5 ms·

I believe Minsky was his (now dead) friend. If something like this comes up for a good, deceased friend of yours, will you pick the side of an unknown to you gi

by alt_f4 7y ago

I believe Minsky was his (now dead) friend. If something like this comes up for a good, deceased friend of yours, will you pick the side of an unknown to you girl over the person you knew and care about? I'm not saying that's the correct side, but it's a human, emotional thing, rather than rational.

lliamander 7y ago
I've only read some of his comments after the fact. I don't think he was taking sides against the young women, as much as just speaking up for a friend.
- alt_f4 7y ago
  I agree, but I don't know how to phrase it better.
  - lliamander 7y ago
    No worries. For what it's worth, that's what I assumed you meant. I was more or less attempting to rephrase it in my own words. In a world where one's written words can be so twisted beyond their original intent, it's good to reaffirm an assumption of good faith.
PavlovsCat 7y ago
I wouldn't come to a conclusion before even considering what situations would be plausible for the girl to be in. In the case of a 17 year old and a 73 year old, the main responsibility rests with the adult, just based on the respective age and positions of power. I wouldn't make an exception for friend nor foe, but if I had a friend who did that, I wouln't any longer consider him a friend, and there is nothing about the girl, short of her raping him, that could change that. "Friend" isn't just some flag that gets set by cosmic rays and then stays that way forever, that would make it meaningless to me, not more noble.. blind loyalty isn't loyalty, just blindness. I say this as someone who did cast of friends, which was painful to me, even though it was for totally trivial and harmless, outright edifying reasons in comparison.
- alt_f4 7y ago
  > "Friend" isn't just some flag that gets set by cosmic rays and then stays that way forever. Agreed. It's more of a collection of experiences and knowledge of character. If I've known you for 20 years and known you to be a good person, if I hear something like this I'm more likely to believe this is some sort of a mistake, as it is completely out of character. One way to rationalize it would be to believe that you were misinformed, rather than me being a poor judge of character for all of these years. Again, not saying it's what happened - i dont know. But it's just human nature to react like that. It's not really human nature to consider the social media and print media applications before writing an opinion.
  - PavlovsCat 7y ago
    You're essentially just describing what you're not saying, and "some sort of mistake" is much too generic for me. While I personally wouldn't feel much better about a friend having sex with someone a third their age even if that person is an adult, it's impossible to have sex with a minor by accident, unless they have fake ID. Not even asking for it means not caring, no ifs and buts. "Human nature" is also too generic, the question was, how would you react. I answered that question, and have the former friends I showed the door to prove it. It's clearly within "human nature" to react like that, too.
    - alt_f4 7y ago
      > While I personally wouldn't feel much better about a friend having sex with someone a third their age even if that person is an adult Why, if it is 2 consenting adults? As I said in another comment, some people are into BDSM, tentacle stuff, toys, etc. If they're both into it and happy, it's none of my business. This agist view towards sex that you are prescribing is certainly no better than someone who would stop being friends with someone because they found out that their friend is gay.
      - PavlovsCat 7y ago
        Friendship also requires the consent of two. I don't stop thinking at "consent" and "into it", and I don't have to justify that to you, either. I could elaborate, but you're not really asking, or respecting my opinion at all -- me just "being into" certain people as friends apparently isn't enough for you. > This agist view towards sex that you are prescribing You're actually trying to prescribe to something to me, and about my reasoning and "view" you know nothing, because you prefer your own straw man. > is certainly no better than someone who would stop being friends with someone because they found out that their friend is gay. Aaaand here comes the payoff, where being against taking advantage of someone is "the" bad thing, and dirty old men don't exist, just an "agist view". A lot of variations can be seen in that other thread, too: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20990583 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20990583

by alt_f4 7y ago

lliamander 7y ago

I've only read some of his comments after the fact. I don't think he was taking sides against the young women, as much as just speaking up for a friend.

alt_f4 7y ago
I agree, but I don't know how to phrase it better.
- lliamander 7y ago
  No worries. For what it's worth, that's what I assumed you meant. I was more or less attempting to rephrase it in my own words. In a world where one's written words can be so twisted beyond their original intent, it's good to reaffirm an assumption of good faith.

PavlovsCat 7y ago

I wouldn't come to a conclusion before even considering what situations would be plausible for the girl to be in. In the case of a 17 year old and a 73 year old, the main responsibility rests with the adult, just based on the respective age and positions of power. I wouldn't make an exception for friend nor foe, but if I had a friend who did that, I wouln't any longer consider him a friend, and there is nothing about the girl, short of her raping him, that could change that. "Friend" isn't just some flag that gets set by cosmic rays and then stays that way forever, that would make it meaningless to me, not more noble.. blind loyalty isn't loyalty, just blindness. I say this as someone who did cast of friends, which was painful to me, even though it was for totally trivial and harmless, outright edifying reasons in comparison.

alt_f4 7y ago
> "Friend" isn't just some flag that gets set by cosmic rays and then stays that way forever. Agreed. It's more of a collection of experiences and knowledge of character. If I've known you for 20 years and known you to be a good person, if I hear something like this I'm more likely to believe this is some sort of a mistake, as it is completely out of character. One way to rationalize it would be to believe that you were misinformed, rather than me being a poor judge of character for all of these years. Again, not saying it's what happened - i dont know. But it's just human nature to react like that. It's not really human nature to consider the social media and print media applications before writing an opinion.
- PavlovsCat 7y ago
  You're essentially just describing what you're not saying, and "some sort of mistake" is much too generic for me. While I personally wouldn't feel much better about a friend having sex with someone a third their age even if that person is an adult, it's impossible to have sex with a minor by accident, unless they have fake ID. Not even asking for it means not caring, no ifs and buts. "Human nature" is also too generic, the question was, how would you react. I answered that question, and have the former friends I showed the door to prove it. It's clearly within "human nature" to react like that, too.
  - alt_f4 7y ago
    > While I personally wouldn't feel much better about a friend having sex with someone a third their age even if that person is an adult Why, if it is 2 consenting adults? As I said in another comment, some people are into BDSM, tentacle stuff, toys, etc. If they're both into it and happy, it's none of my business. This agist view towards sex that you are prescribing is certainly no better than someone who would stop being friends with someone because they found out that their friend is gay.
    - PavlovsCat 7y ago
      Friendship also requires the consent of two. I don't stop thinking at "consent" and "into it", and I don't have to justify that to you, either. I could elaborate, but you're not really asking, or respecting my opinion at all -- me just "being into" certain people as friends apparently isn't enough for you. > This agist view towards sex that you are prescribing You're actually trying to prescribe to something to me, and about my reasoning and "view" you know nothing, because you prefer your own straw man. > is certainly no better than someone who would stop being friends with someone because they found out that their friend is gay. Aaaand here comes the payoff, where being against taking advantage of someone is "the" bad thing, and dirty old men don't exist, just an "agist view". A lot of variations can be seen in that other thread, too: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20990583 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20990583