3 ms·

Nice essay, but the conclusion is a non-sequitur. If anything, the story seems to suggest that it is in fact "remarkable for a person to understand what another

Nice essay, but the conclusion is a non-sequitur. If anything, the story seems to suggest that it is in fact "remarkable for a person to understand what another person needed."

jschwartzi 7y ago
I actually think the point of the essay is that you should allow yourself to have needs and to be who you are. There are a lot of people in the world who want you to be who they think you are. My therapist once told me that "feedback is like trying on clothes. When someone hands you a shirt, the polite thing to do is to try it on and see how it fits you. But not every shirt is your style, and not every piece of feedback is true."
- kjeetgill 7y ago
  That's an incredible quote and general piece of advice. It precisely articulated and idea I always found it hard to articulate. Two people could each reject an idea or advice and one would frustrate me more than another. It's because I wanted them to atleast try it on before insisting it wouldn't fit!
geofft 7y ago
I think what she means is remarkable as in unusual, not as in worth commenting on. The fiancé was a man she had spent years of her life dating, courting, evaluating, and before that whom she had met through mutual friends. Jeff was some guy on a bird-watching trip that she joined on essentially a whim. The whole essay is, in a sense, a large remark on Jeff (and Lindsay), but the remark is precisely how natural it was for them to do what they did, how they aren't people who are impossible to find.
wDcBKgt66V8WDs 7y ago
I'm pretty sure seeking out the logical fallacies in a story like this is not the point...
peapicker 7y ago
Jeff knew she needed to drive the boat, to symbolically steer her own life, rather than being railroaded and being convinced to like it like her asshole ex did to her. And among normal caring people, guys like Jeff are the norm.

Nice essay, but the conclusion is a non-sequitur. If anything, the story seems to suggest that it is in fact "remarkable for a person to understand what another person needed."

jschwartzi 7y ago

I actually think the point of the essay is that you should allow yourself to have needs and to be who you are. There are a lot of people in the world who want you to be who they think you are. My therapist once told me that "feedback is like trying on clothes. When someone hands you a shirt, the polite thing to do is to try it on and see how it fits you. But not every shirt is your style, and not every piece of feedback is true."

kjeetgill 7y ago
That's an incredible quote and general piece of advice. It precisely articulated and idea I always found it hard to articulate. Two people could each reject an idea or advice and one would frustrate me more than another. It's because I wanted them to atleast try it on before insisting it wouldn't fit!

geofft 7y ago

I think what she means is remarkable as in unusual, not as in worth commenting on. The fiancé was a man she had spent years of her life dating, courting, evaluating, and before that whom she had met through mutual friends. Jeff was some guy on a bird-watching trip that she joined on essentially a whim. The whole essay is, in a sense, a large remark on Jeff (and Lindsay), but the remark is precisely how natural it was for them to do what they did, how they aren't people who are impossible to find.

wDcBKgt66V8WDs 7y ago

I'm pretty sure seeking out the logical fallacies in a story like this is not the point...

peapicker 7y ago

Jeff knew she needed to drive the boat, to symbolically steer her own life, rather than being railroaded and being convinced to like it like her asshole ex did to her. And among normal caring people, guys like Jeff are the norm.