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I'll add to the list here. No. I see a therapist but it doesn't help. Ultimately I'm burnt out. The startup I'm working at doesn't have good numbers anymore (n

I'll add to the list here. No. I see a therapist but it doesn't help. Ultimately I'm burnt out. The startup I'm working at doesn't have good numbers anymore (not like any startup I've been at ever has). I can't get a job at FAANG (I've done their onsites about a dozen times). I live in the most expensive region in the USA. I only receive a salary from a startup and stock is obviously worthless. My SO is committed to a lifestyle of either A) not working or B) having jobs that will never pay more than what she consumes. I'm supporting her through college by paying all of our rent, most of our food (which she requires to all be wildly overpriced), all of every vacation, and so forth. She is getting a degree that has no correlation with a job. She has no plans to get a real job. She is committed to a hedonistic lifestyle where her lover will provide everything for her. It's utterly annoying and immature. But she's smart and I hope she will learn. (And try to care about my suffering a bit to change her ways) The fact that this dynamic will never change is what kills me most. I have no hope. I'm under so much financial pressure to make two to three times what I am making now and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Moving just isn't an option because I'm perpetually unhappy with my jobs (due to a lack of pay). I need a lot of options available so I can keep bouncing before I get fired. Again - I'm burnt out and it fucking sucks. I'm around the 1% of my age (29) and definitely the 1% of where I grew up - but it's not enough to stay sane in this dynamic. Sometimes I wonder what I'm going to do. How will I ever escape my fate? Ultimately - I have no idea and it's why I'm so frustrated and burnt out. I have no path out and never will. Mind you - my social life, hobbies, and everything else is practically non-existent. I am miserable every day.

rs23296008n1 7y ago
No way is that a healthy relationship. I would not stay in it based on your description. Sounds like hell. You do have reason to have hope since you are smart enough to plan how to move on from existing work etc. Perhaps explore how to get out of your current hell hole and into a better life?
Impossible 7y ago
You're placing a lot of blame on your SO. Is it possible that she could get a job that carries more financial weight or be convinced to move to a lower COL area? If not is there a reason why you can't or won't leave her?
throwaway91219 7y ago
Some tough love incoming: 1. Delete this post. Your feelings are valid, as are your struggles, and a lot of people are struggling with similar issues. If you had posted under a throwaway, this would be a great place for discussion. But airing these issues publicly with identifying information won't help anything. Your coworkers and employer read this website, this isn't something you need to share with them. 2. You need to reevaluate your relationship. If you want to provide these things out of caring and love, great, go for it. But if you are doing it out of a feeling of obligation, the only result will be resentment. You can't change someone, and in all (non-dependent) relationships, it only works if both people want to be there under the same terms. If the terms you want for a relationship don't match hers, even with compromises, then it probably won't work out. 3. You have a skill that few people have: You can build something once and sell it over and over at no marginal cost. And people like you are needed everywhere. You can make a change, in location, in job, in relationship, etc. and you will have the earning potential where ever you go to make what you need. (What someone else needs, that's another question.)
Bootwizard 7y ago
Get out of that toxic relationship if it's not what you want (which it sounds like it isn't). Replace that relationship with a social life that you enjoy, friends that care about you, and be around people that actually make you happy.
GeorgeTirebiter 7y ago
Get far away from this narcissistic girl. Now. Then get some mental distance, and recover from the abuse you have suffered. Get a different (better) therapist. Do not delay. Much luck!

rs23296008n1 7y ago

No way is that a healthy relationship. I would not stay in it based on your description. Sounds like hell. You do have reason to have hope since you are smart enough to plan how to move on from existing work etc. Perhaps explore how to get out of your current hell hole and into a better life?

Impossible 7y ago

You're placing a lot of blame on your SO. Is it possible that she could get a job that carries more financial weight or be convinced to move to a lower COL area? If not is there a reason why you can't or won't leave her?

throwaway91219 7y ago

Some tough love incoming: 1. Delete this post. Your feelings are valid, as are your struggles, and a lot of people are struggling with similar issues. If you had posted under a throwaway, this would be a great place for discussion. But airing these issues publicly with identifying information won't help anything. Your coworkers and employer read this website, this isn't something you need to share with them. 2. You need to reevaluate your relationship. If you want to provide these things out of caring and love, great, go for it. But if you are doing it out of a feeling of obligation, the only result will be resentment. You can't change someone, and in all (non-dependent) relationships, it only works if both people want to be there under the same terms. If the terms you want for a relationship don't match hers, even with compromises, then it probably won't work out. 3. You have a skill that few people have: You can build something once and sell it over and over at no marginal cost. And people like you are needed everywhere. You can make a change, in location, in job, in relationship, etc. and you will have the earning potential where ever you go to make what you need. (What someone else needs, that's another question.)

Bootwizard 7y ago

Get out of that toxic relationship if it's not what you want (which it sounds like it isn't). Replace that relationship with a social life that you enjoy, friends that care about you, and be around people that actually make you happy.

GeorgeTirebiter 7y ago

Get far away from this narcissistic girl. Now. Then get some mental distance, and recover from the abuse you have suffered. Get a different (better) therapist. Do not delay. Much luck!