Not really. I've been a developer for only four years. In that time I've had two jobs. Both went badly, resulting my losing the job. In both cases my boss start

Not really. I've been a developer for only four years. In that time I've had two jobs. Both went badly, resulting my losing the job. In both cases my boss started off friendly and encouraging and became more and more impatient with me and disappointed in me. After the second job ended, earlier this year, I took time off to study some cs topics to improve as a developer in the areas where I seem to have decificts. I don't know whether I've improved. I don't know whether I'm any good. I don't know whether I have any aptitude for coding. I just started applying for jobs, and I have no confidence, no optimism, no eagerness, and kind of want to disappear into a hole and never emerge. I like coding, but I don't know whether I should even make an effort to stay in the field. I'm not at risk. I don't think I'm depressed. I'm just despondent.