3 ms·

I don't know. I think I am? I come home from work and kill some time on the internet. Often times, I lose interest in whatever it is I'm doing and go to bed. I

I don't know. I think I am? I come home from work and kill some time on the internet. Often times, I lose interest in whatever it is I'm doing and go to bed. I have acid reflux, so that prevents from eating stuff that I like as well. I don't like SF a lot, but I care about career progression and opportunities as well. I used to play a lot of video games, but I stopped now because of...I don't know - just lost interest I guess? I wait for a message or a call from people I know to come everyday, but the only person that calls me is my mom. I deactivated my Facebook account right before my birthday to see how many people remember my birthday, and it was a pathetic 2 people other than my family members. I am an ICPC World Finalist, but I still failed to get any interviews with the companies I really wanted to work at. I guess I'm in a decent spot now, but I am not able to get over some elements of the past and keep going down the rabbit hole. I hope things will change with time. I hope I meet some good people and make solid friends who I can hangout with. I hope.

somasucks 7y ago
EDIT: Ha, no one replied to my comment here either. Guess I'm a sad motherfucker after all. Onwards!
rakejake 7y ago
Hey somasucks, people have delegated birthday reminders to Facebook nowadays so I wouldn't take that very seriously. If not for Facebook, I wouldn't remember my best friend's birthday even. I think what you're feeling is ennui maybe? This odd feeling of dissatisfaction even though life is good on paper. This is something I feel too, and oddly enough, I know what to do to get myself out of such a situation. Meet more people, talk to the people I know more often etc. But I fall into the exact rut that you mentioned in your post - I come back from home not tired at all, yet the thought of getting on the phone with people is just unbearable. Maybe it is just anxiety? I don't know. But the fix is more people-time, and also a diverse set of activities. Pick up a sport, learn singing, strength train at the gym etc. When you have a lot of different activities lined up, you are almost never dissatisified. Bad day at work? Well atleast my workout was good and I'm building muscle. Didn't go to the gym? Well I'm sure the weekend hike will pump me up. The more you put yourself out there, the better the chance of meeting like-minded people.

somasucks 7y ago

EDIT: Ha, no one replied to my comment here either. Guess I'm a sad motherfucker after all. Onwards!

rakejake 7y ago

Hey somasucks, people have delegated birthday reminders to Facebook nowadays so I wouldn't take that very seriously. If not for Facebook, I wouldn't remember my best friend's birthday even. I think what you're feeling is ennui maybe? This odd feeling of dissatisfaction even though life is good on paper. This is something I feel too, and oddly enough, I know what to do to get myself out of such a situation. Meet more people, talk to the people I know more often etc. But I fall into the exact rut that you mentioned in your post - I come back from home not tired at all, yet the thought of getting on the phone with people is just unbearable. Maybe it is just anxiety? I don't know. But the fix is more people-time, and also a diverse set of activities. Pick up a sport, learn singing, strength train at the gym etc. When you have a lot of different activities lined up, you are almost never dissatisified. Bad day at work? Well atleast my workout was good and I'm building muscle. Didn't go to the gym? Well I'm sure the weekend hike will pump me up. The more you put yourself out there, the better the chance of meeting like-minded people.