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No, I'm not OK. Throwaway for obvious reasons. Last year I lost my job and my marriage. I have since survived on occasional self-employment and burning my life

No, I'm not OK. Throwaway for obvious reasons. Last year I lost my job and my marriage. I have since survived on occasional self-employment and burning my life savings; this month I lost the car, chances are I'll be broke by Christmas and will lose the house. My CV is atypical and hard to sell, too old for junior jobs and not good enough for senior ones, and I'm crap at selling and networking, but what else am I going to do? I have not had a sexual relationship for several years now, to the point I'm considering paying for it. I probably have had a mild form of depression for a decade - since my kids were born, I can count the number of days I was happy on the fingers of one hand. One just keeps working and working because there are bills to pay, until he forgets what the point is. My friends and family are thousands of miles away. Some days I stare at the clock until it's time for bed. I love my kids but I hate how they literally diminished my life. After downing the last bottle of wine, a few days ago, I decided I can't go on like this. I've booked a session with a therapist for tomorrow. I'll have to live on noodles to pay for it. I wish there were a place where you could go when you feel like shit and everyone else is there for the same reason and you can talk it out and nobody judges you.

inthistogether 7y ago
I wish I could offer you a real hug and ear. My wife and I have split up twice before but the last time was the worst. It bankrupted me and we almost divorced. We lost a house, a car, savings, etc. Historically, I come from an emotionally abusive background and suffer from anxiety and depression. We keep saying we'll go to counseling but keep pushing it off. We are together now and have agreed to make it work. My last job was great but the compensation wasn't enough. So, I moved on and rejuvenated my career + family. Recently, the company has moved to a sales-centric organization instead of the engineering-centric organization I joined. I want to leave. I'm unhappy but can't give up the benefits. I'm trying not to take it out on my children - who I love so much but also have a nagging feeling sometimes that they have aged me and made my life more difficult. Plus, eco-future is terrifying. We go to church now. It's methodist. I don't believe in a man in the sky but find the community helps my depression. They offer counseling (a third party) for free. And I now work with the youth - more community focused vs religious. Good luck. And it can get better.
carapace 7y ago
> I wish there were a place where you could go when you feel like shit and everyone else is there for the same reason and you can talk it out and nobody judges you. A.A. and the others are exactly that, FWIW.

inthistogether 7y ago

I wish I could offer you a real hug and ear. My wife and I have split up twice before but the last time was the worst. It bankrupted me and we almost divorced. We lost a house, a car, savings, etc. Historically, I come from an emotionally abusive background and suffer from anxiety and depression. We keep saying we'll go to counseling but keep pushing it off. We are together now and have agreed to make it work. My last job was great but the compensation wasn't enough. So, I moved on and rejuvenated my career + family. Recently, the company has moved to a sales-centric organization instead of the engineering-centric organization I joined. I want to leave. I'm unhappy but can't give up the benefits. I'm trying not to take it out on my children - who I love so much but also have a nagging feeling sometimes that they have aged me and made my life more difficult. Plus, eco-future is terrifying. We go to church now. It's methodist. I don't believe in a man in the sky but find the community helps my depression. They offer counseling (a third party) for free. And I now work with the youth - more community focused vs religious. Good luck. And it can get better.

carapace 7y ago

> I wish there were a place where you could go when you feel like shit and everyone else is there for the same reason and you can talk it out and nobody judges you. A.A. and the others are exactly that, FWIW.