3 ms·

Not really at the moment, if I'm being honest. I always have been, generally, which is what makes it so jarring right now. I'm overworked and jaded at my curr

Not really at the moment, if I'm being honest. I always have been, generally, which is what makes it so jarring right now. I'm overworked and jaded at my current job. It's completely demoralizing to see red flags and systemic problems everywhere, bring them up to trusted confidants (and gently to the people who matter), and see nothing done about it. The management seems to be completely divorced from the reality of the situation. I know I can quit and can probably find greener pastures elsewhere, but imposter syndrome and stress in my home life is grinding me down. I know I'm competent, I think. I've learned so much being an autodidact, and am ~5 years into my SDE career, but my lack of a proper CS degree always feels like a blemish on the CV when I apply to jobs. This anxiety blossoms into complete fear during the interview process where I freeze up. In my home life, I feel like I'm the sole provider and I have to do everything. My girlfriend, who I love very much and want to ideally spend the rest of my life with, has an overwhelming phobia of rejection and most likely undiagnosed depression, which is making it impossible to find a job. I work all day/ a lot of nights more recently, come home and have to clean/cook/etc., otherwise I feel like nothing will get done. I have enormous anxiety about the future, financially, emotionally. How can I provide for two people, two cats, get a house on my current salary, let alone bringing children into the picture, which is what we want more than anything. I've been leaning on drugs (adderall, kratom, nicotine) more than I should and smoking actual cigarettes again. I feel like I'm a slave to my environment and don't know what to do. I just want to be happy and have security for my family. I want to pursue my old hobbies (making games, music production), etc. without feeling like they're an escape while everything around me crumbles. Anyways, thanks for listening.

michannne 7y ago
>I'm overworked and jaded at my current job... ...but my lack of a proper CS degree always feels like a blemish on the CV when I apply to jobs. Same here, only difference is I work at a startup so I don't want to leave out of fear I won't get a piece of the pie when the company blows up. >In my home life, I feel like I'm the sole provider and I have to do everything... ...I just want to be happy and have security for my family I won't tell you how to run your relationship, but it's important to remember the main benefit of dating is that if it's not working out you can simply walk away. I've seen many friends get pressured into staying in a relationship they, deep down, don't want to be in or aren't ready for and come up with various reasons for why they can't leave. Relationships are all about compromise, no one likes to cook, but someone has to, no one likes to work but someone has to, etc. If you're giving 100% and the other person is giving 0%, 10%, 20%, 40%, I can't say if it'll work out or not, but it'll definitely end up deteriorating you. >I want to pursue my old hobbies (making games, music production), etc. without feeling like they're an escape while everything around me crumbles. I had the same problem. Getting pressured at work to put in more hours, do more work for no raise, take responsibility without authority, I wasn't going to sacrifice my life even further to appease someone making 3x as much as I was. I declined. Not only that, but I started leaving earlier, coming in a little later, took slightly shorter, but more frequent breaks. I began focusing more on my hobbies as well. I've found that the world awards those who push back.

michannne 7y ago

>I'm overworked and jaded at my current job... ...but my lack of a proper CS degree always feels like a blemish on the CV when I apply to jobs. Same here, only difference is I work at a startup so I don't want to leave out of fear I won't get a piece of the pie when the company blows up. >In my home life, I feel like I'm the sole provider and I have to do everything... ...I just want to be happy and have security for my family I won't tell you how to run your relationship, but it's important to remember the main benefit of dating is that if it's not working out you can simply walk away. I've seen many friends get pressured into staying in a relationship they, deep down, don't want to be in or aren't ready for and come up with various reasons for why they can't leave. Relationships are all about compromise, no one likes to cook, but someone has to, no one likes to work but someone has to, etc. If you're giving 100% and the other person is giving 0%, 10%, 20%, 40%, I can't say if it'll work out or not, but it'll definitely end up deteriorating you. >I want to pursue my old hobbies (making games, music production), etc. without feeling like they're an escape while everything around me crumbles. I had the same problem. Getting pressured at work to put in more hours, do more work for no raise, take responsibility without authority, I wasn't going to sacrifice my life even further to appease someone making 3x as much as I was. I declined. Not only that, but I started leaving earlier, coming in a little later, took slightly shorter, but more frequent breaks. I began focusing more on my hobbies as well. I've found that the world awards those who push back.