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I've already put the effort into developing friendships... I moved back to my childhood home where I'm close to family and many of my life-long best friends. I

by hntemp190912 7y ago

I've already put the effort into developing friendships... I moved back to my childhood home where I'm close to family and many of my life-long best friends. I see them all the time now. It doesn't matter. None of it is making me think life is worth it at this point. So what, so I get to see family and friends? Then what? I go back to bed and want to die again. My world view is mostly rooted in Camus's writing on the myth of Sisyphus. There's no point to any of it, life is absurd, but the daily struggles I go through are supposed to be enough to fill my heart. Until they aren't any more, and any way out seems better than repeating the same shit day in, day out, where days blur together and I'm treading water until I die. My thoughts aren't on my existential dread 100% of the time, but they seem to be my baseline. They're what I return to when things get quiet and I'm trying to sleep. When I fail at a project and I have to start over. When the weed wears off. When I wake up. When I'm not actively distracting myself.

DoofusOfDeath 7y ago
I'm sorry. I hope you can take comfort in my experience that this unhappiness doesn't necessarily last.
sah2ed 7y ago
I strongly recommend you seek out therapy in some form. Heck, even something like using this free service [0] where you could offload to a stranger could help lift the enormous burden you are feeling and help reset your currently gloomy perspective about life. Take care of yourself. 0: https://www.7cups.com/ https://www.7cups.com/
carapace 7y ago
Two things: This too shall pass. You can be happy for no reason at all. HTH
- DoofusOfDeath 7y ago
  > You can be happy for no reason at all. I can't presume to speak for the OP, but a statement like that might not help. (I don't mean you shouldn't have posted it; just that it may not have the positive effect on the OP that you're hoping for.) For some people with existential dread, the "no reason at all" aspect is the exact basis of their unhappiness. It's the sadness of nothing, ultimately, mattering in any satisfying sense. I'm not sure everybody can relate to this kind of sadness. It's definitely near the pinnacle of Lazlo's hierarchy of needs; I'm guessing it figures into his "transcendence" category.
mikelyons 7y ago
One must imagine Sisyphus happy in his toil.

DoofusOfDeath 7y ago

I'm sorry. I hope you can take comfort in my experience that this unhappiness doesn't necessarily last.

sah2ed 7y ago

I strongly recommend you seek out therapy in some form. Heck, even something like using this free service [0] where you could offload to a stranger could help lift the enormous burden you are feeling and help reset your currently gloomy perspective about life. Take care of yourself. 0: https://www.7cups.com/ https://www.7cups.com/

carapace 7y ago

Two things: This too shall pass. You can be happy for no reason at all. HTH

DoofusOfDeath 7y ago
> You can be happy for no reason at all. I can't presume to speak for the OP, but a statement like that might not help. (I don't mean you shouldn't have posted it; just that it may not have the positive effect on the OP that you're hoping for.) For some people with existential dread, the "no reason at all" aspect is the exact basis of their unhappiness. It's the sadness of nothing, ultimately, mattering in any satisfying sense. I'm not sure everybody can relate to this kind of sadness. It's definitely near the pinnacle of Lazlo's hierarchy of needs; I'm guessing it figures into his "transcendence" category.

mikelyons 7y ago

One must imagine Sisyphus happy in his toil.