I’v noticed this pattern with people in way more situations than just team member - manager. Spouses, friends, colleagues etc are prone to just “suggest reading

I’v noticed this pattern with people in way more situations than just team member - manager. Spouses, friends, colleagues etc are prone to just “suggest reading a book” to solve an inter-personal problem. And I’ve never seen this work in the slightest. Just anecdotal info I know, but I do think its a general pattern. If someone is disagreeing, and you ask them to “read a book to change their mind” you basically ask them to admit they are not right and that you have power over them. Two things that people don’t like in general. And its pretty sad, because we are here in this civilization of ours mainly because of books. Ideas that survive generations and mold societies. And reading what someone else is really into is actually quite beneficial. I personally try to at least skim through suggestions given from others, as its such an awesome tool to understand where someone is coming from. And would give you _much_ better leverage in any further interactions. Even if its the fact that you’ve taken someone at their word to actually read something, you gain a “favor” in negotiating terms. And you would also know the language that the other person is thinking in. Developers are very prone to “if everything else fails read the instructions” kind of thinking, and book suggestions are basically instructions for people. And I think the advice of being better off if you just try to read that works in both cases, even if it goes against our natures.