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I was 35 before I understood, truly, deeply understood why people become addicted to opiods. Prior to 35 never had pain medication of any kind. Got a kidney sto

by pgrote 7y ago

I was 35 before I understood, truly, deeply understood why people become addicted to opiods. Prior to 35 never had pain medication of any kind. Got a kidney stone, writhing in pain, vomiting, couldn't quit crying. The pain is the worst you can experience. IV Morphine wasn't touching it. Then she came in. An older lady and told me it was going to be alright. She pulled a syringe up and I was blubbering in pain, crying and explaining to her I would do anything to make the pain stop and how I I quit talking. I quit crying. I was comfortable. Happy. Content. The world was fine. It was Dilaudid. When I was released it occurred to me that this is how people feel when using the drugs. The best explanation I've ever heard is from a reddit comment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9huWlXFA1s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9huWlXFA1s

zwily 7y ago
I had the exact same experience. I had the kidney stone and dilaudid about 10 years ago, but deep down still hope to get a kidney stone again so I can have that feeling again. It’s terrifying. (And I don’t think they’ll even administer it anymore for kidney stones.)
- pgrote 7y ago
  I know what you mean. I have had them 3 times since. The last time was after the opioid crisis hit and I was petrified I wouldn't be able to find relief. The local hospital no longer provides anything more than morphine in the ER; you have to be admitted. I was admitted and no issues getting the shot.
natalyarostova 7y ago
It blows my mind people still link to that YouTube video. I wrote that comment nearly 10 years ago, not that I have any proof. It's cool to see something I wrote have staying power.
- pgrote 7y ago
  Wow. Are you still doing well? I must say thank you to you for authoring something that spoke to me logically and perfectly encapsulated the feeling I had. I shared it with my teenage daughter and will share it with my other children when they become older teenagers. You have made an impact.
  - natalyarostova 7y ago
    I'm glad that it spoke to you! Yeah I wrote it when I was 21 and wayward. Thankfully shortly thereafter I found that a strict regimen of programming, lifting weights, exercise, math, statistics etc gave me more than enough meaning to occupy my time and interest, at which point drugs got boring. Hence why I'm on hacker news :)
    - soulofmischief 7y ago
      All you needed was stimulation and a plan. Without a plan you don't have motivation and without motivation you develop anxiety and begin seeking an escape. With a solid plan, you find that an addiction just gets in the way of what you want to do. Glad you're doing better! Good luck!
      - natalyarostova 7y ago
        Yeah, stimulation was the big one. I eventually realized that it's sort of impossible for me to 'relax' (more than 5 hours a week). I just can't do it, and when I try I get frustrated. So I've developed a lot of self-development hobbies instead, which works out well.
PeterStuer 7y ago
Contextualization and personality wrt addiction are major factors though. I had morphine for for extreme pains as I had my appendix blow out and my whole abdomen was a cesspool for a few weeks in hospital. I never had withdrawal nor addiction symptoms as the experience was confined to hospital. I am lucky to have a personality type that can easily externalize addiction. Basically for me it is like flipping a switch, or confining the feelings to certain contexts. Even so, I can easily see how people do get addicted beyond their control, so I would never say it is 'easy' to 'just stop'.
i_am_nomad 7y ago
Somewhat tangential here: I once fell off a high wall and broke my leg in two places. A couple months prior to that, I’d had a kidney stone. As I lay there in the mud clutching my leg, one of my first thoughts was, “hey, this isn’t nearly as bad as a kidney stone.”
- Baeocystin 7y ago
  I once had a motorcycle kickstart lever shove my thumb backwards through the middle of my wrist. An odd feeling, looking at hand-bits poking out of one's skin. And my first thought was exactly the same as yours! tl;dr: kidney stones suck. When we say that they hurt more than $terribad_injury, that is not hyperbole.
ufmace 7y ago
Since I rabidly hate Youtube videos that consist of a random person reading a Reddit comment, here's the link to the actual Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/wnj2d/iama_heroin_addict_been_clean_now_for_4_months/c5ez7ne/?context=1 https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/wnj2d/iama_heroin_add...
jonah 7y ago
Reading everyone's experiences with Dilaudid is really interesting to me. I had appendicitis a year-and-a-half ago. It was the most incredible pain I'd ever experienced in my life. They gave me Dilaudid in the ER - a pretty good dose apparently - and it barely touched the pain.. maybe took it down a notch or two. Even after a second dose, the pain was still incredible. Looking back, it did dull it and just put me in a daze. So, yes a large dose helped, but I didn't get the experience others are talking about. Edit: a nurse friend came to visit after surgery and said: "oh, they gave you the good stuff." I still wasn't impressed.

by pgrote 7y ago

zwily 7y ago

I had the exact same experience. I had the kidney stone and dilaudid about 10 years ago, but deep down still hope to get a kidney stone again so I can have that feeling again. It’s terrifying. (And I don’t think they’ll even administer it anymore for kidney stones.)

pgrote 7y ago
I know what you mean. I have had them 3 times since. The last time was after the opioid crisis hit and I was petrified I wouldn't be able to find relief. The local hospital no longer provides anything more than morphine in the ER; you have to be admitted. I was admitted and no issues getting the shot.

natalyarostova 7y ago

It blows my mind people still link to that YouTube video. I wrote that comment nearly 10 years ago, not that I have any proof. It's cool to see something I wrote have staying power.

pgrote 7y ago
Wow. Are you still doing well? I must say thank you to you for authoring something that spoke to me logically and perfectly encapsulated the feeling I had. I shared it with my teenage daughter and will share it with my other children when they become older teenagers. You have made an impact.
- natalyarostova 7y ago
  I'm glad that it spoke to you! Yeah I wrote it when I was 21 and wayward. Thankfully shortly thereafter I found that a strict regimen of programming, lifting weights, exercise, math, statistics etc gave me more than enough meaning to occupy my time and interest, at which point drugs got boring. Hence why I'm on hacker news :)
  - soulofmischief 7y ago
    All you needed was stimulation and a plan. Without a plan you don't have motivation and without motivation you develop anxiety and begin seeking an escape. With a solid plan, you find that an addiction just gets in the way of what you want to do. Glad you're doing better! Good luck!
    - natalyarostova 7y ago
      Yeah, stimulation was the big one. I eventually realized that it's sort of impossible for me to 'relax' (more than 5 hours a week). I just can't do it, and when I try I get frustrated. So I've developed a lot of self-development hobbies instead, which works out well.

PeterStuer 7y ago

Contextualization and personality wrt addiction are major factors though. I had morphine for for extreme pains as I had my appendix blow out and my whole abdomen was a cesspool for a few weeks in hospital. I never had withdrawal nor addiction symptoms as the experience was confined to hospital. I am lucky to have a personality type that can easily externalize addiction. Basically for me it is like flipping a switch, or confining the feelings to certain contexts. Even so, I can easily see how people do get addicted beyond their control, so I would never say it is 'easy' to 'just stop'.

i_am_nomad 7y ago

Somewhat tangential here: I once fell off a high wall and broke my leg in two places. A couple months prior to that, I’d had a kidney stone. As I lay there in the mud clutching my leg, one of my first thoughts was, “hey, this isn’t nearly as bad as a kidney stone.”

Baeocystin 7y ago
I once had a motorcycle kickstart lever shove my thumb backwards through the middle of my wrist. An odd feeling, looking at hand-bits poking out of one's skin. And my first thought was exactly the same as yours! tl;dr: kidney stones suck. When we say that they hurt more than $terribad_injury, that is not hyperbole.

ufmace 7y ago

Since I rabidly hate Youtube videos that consist of a random person reading a Reddit comment, here's the link to the actual Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/wnj2d/iama_heroin_addict_been_clean_now_for_4_months/c5ez7ne/?context=1 https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/wnj2d/iama_heroin_add...

jonah 7y ago

Reading everyone's experiences with Dilaudid is really interesting to me. I had appendicitis a year-and-a-half ago. It was the most incredible pain I'd ever experienced in my life. They gave me Dilaudid in the ER - a pretty good dose apparently - and it barely touched the pain.. maybe took it down a notch or two. Even after a second dose, the pain was still incredible. Looking back, it did dull it and just put me in a daze. So, yes a large dose helped, but I didn't get the experience others are talking about. Edit: a nurse friend came to visit after surgery and said: "oh, they gave you the good stuff." I still wasn't impressed.