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I get up at 5am to start getting the kids up and ready for school (high schoolers first, then elementary schoolers, then middle schoolers). Everyone is finally

I get up at 5am to start getting the kids up and ready for school (high schoolers first, then elementary schoolers, then middle schoolers). Everyone is finally at school by 9:15am and I can head in for work. I get home around 6pm and get the little kids in bed by 8pm. 8-8:30pm is me time. Then I get ready for bed and am asleep by 9pm. I can't imagine what a slow morning (or evening!) would even be like. I'd appreciate it if someone could add about 6 more hours to every day.

echelon 7y ago
How do you do this? I would literally die. I can't live life so breathlessly with what sounds like no room for breaks. Are weekends even enough for you to recover? Forget burning out of a job, I'd burn out on life. Mad props to you. You've got a hell of a lot more discipline than I do. Your kids owe you.
- irrational 7y ago
  What is a weekend? Honestly, weekends are super busy. I actually look forward to Mondays when I can go back to work and sit in front of a computer for much of the day.
  - hboon 7y ago
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.
- segmondy 7y ago
  This is the real life of folks with kids, so if you have coworkers with kids be a bit emphatic, now imagine them doing all this and having to worry because maybe one or more of them happen to be sick. If you have kids, either you become good with time management or life will beat the crap out of you.
  - meddlepal 7y ago
    On one hand I agree with your statement, on the other hand, kids are a choice. Should I also be giving people lots of slack for getting drunk and coming to work hungover? That was a choice too. Don't respond with some biological need nonsense. Last time I checked we're not automatons that slavishly need to fulfill our biological needs.
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]
    - zamfi 7y ago
      I can’t tell if you’re trolling, but some people do believe this. Society benefits from people having (a reasonable number of) children. Without them, humanity is done. Perhaps you think that’s for the best anyway, in which case I wonder why you’re doing anything at all.
- JohnFen 7y ago
  I thought the same until I had kids. This sort of thing is part and parcel of having children, you really do learn not only to handle it, but to derive enjoyment from the situation overall. If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.
  - jacobolus 7y ago
    > hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...). I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months old, and is way easier to take care of right now. If you just accept that you will be doing no independent creative work, then a 2+ year old isn’t too bad. They can start to “help” with routine chores, can walk around for themselves, can feed themselves, eventually stop needing diapers, etc. The work is not really hard per se. More like relentless.
    - colordrops 7y ago
      As a father, support of the mother takes lot more work when she's taking care of newborn than a 3 year old. As a mother, a newborn is certainly a lot more difficult, if not more physically taxing, than a 3 year old. Also, it takes months for the mother to recover from birth trauma.
      - jacobolus 7y ago
        This seems to vary from family to family / child to child. I wouldn’t describe anything (after maybe the birth itself, which I can’t answer about) related to our 6 month old so far as “difficult”. It is only “physically taxing” insofar as it takes a lot of time every day, and alongside other obligations (in particular, the 3-year-old) that leaves everyone a bit sleep deprived. I would say the 3-year-old takes at least twice as much time and 5x as much effort. (The work is stuff like reading books together, building block towers, running around the playground, preparing food, etc. Nothing especially challenging by itself.) My wife gets burned out pretty quickly when I leave her with both kids on the weekend for most of a day. She’s generally relieved to get back to the office on Monday and leave them to me. :-)
- mumblemumble 7y ago
  https://www.fowllanguagecomics.com/comic/long-weekend/ https://www.fowllanguagecomics.com/comic/long-weekend/
  - irrational 7y ago
    That's brilliant! And so true.
- TaylorAlexander 7y ago
  I definitely couldn’t do it. After a few years at a corporate gig I’ve taken a new job with extremely flexible hours. I work 20 hours/4 days a week. Four five hour work days a week. It’s a HUGE difference. It’s crazy to me that people are willing to give so much of their life to their employer. Is your life not worth more to you than that? You’ll sell decades of your life just for a nice paycheck? Aside from the fact that it’s mostly all that’s on offer WHY do people do this?
  - echelon 7y ago
    How much do you earn, if you don't mind my asking? And what sort of work is it?
    - TaylorAlexander 7y ago
      $100 an hour as an independent contractor developing farming robots at a place that feels very very good for me. EDIT: I definitely got very lucky finding this position. I’m not suggesting everyone can just do this. But if people don’t refuse to work 40-50 hour work weeks, then that’s what employers will expect.
      - solotronics 7y ago
        Even though people claim to work 40-50 hours many times they are spending half that time watching videos or messing around, this is a generalization of course.
        TaylorAlexander 7y ago
        It’s true. It’s frustrating because when I was hourly at Google I was extremely mindful to always be working when I was billing. Don’t bill for lunch. Don’t bill for long coffee breaks, etc. But when I billed 30-35 hour weeks it felt like my manager thought I wasn’t working hard enough. It’s like... I was probably working just as much as many full time employees who don’t count their hours. My managers manager told me they expect people to sometimes work 50-60 hours on big projects and I was like “nooope”. 20 hours a week suits me nicely.
- solotronics 7y ago
  Meanwhile I'm over here having trouble getting up before 9am, I make up for it by spending time coding at night and on the weekends sometimes instead of paying video games. I figure if I bring something to work useful on Monday and say "hey! look at this cool thing I built over the weekend" people seem to leave me alone about coming to the office at 10/11am
teh_klev 7y ago
> I get up at 5am to start getting the kids up and ready for school I don't mean to pry or be cheeky or sound judgemental, but how many kids do you have that it takes 3-4 hours to get them all breakfasted and ready for school? And is school far away or just a 10-15 min drive? What are you doing during that time? I know kids can consume a lot of attention in the morning (especially the elementary lot), but that amount of time seems extraordinary. I'm 52 and my folks were never up before 7:30am to get us fed and watered and ready for school and there was still plenty of time for banter, making packed lunches etc. I'm genuinely interested.
- OJFord 7y ago
  Well, plural children in three categories of school (so 6+) was what caught my eye!
  - teh_klev 7y ago
    I did notice the plurals. If so then I probably get it. That said, High Schoolers, if in their teens do tend to sleep in longer (unless they're those annoying up-with-the-lark types), and can be a bit more self sufficient when trained properly :) so you could knock an hour off that schedule.
  - 171243 7y ago
    I actually went and read part of there post history and "My wife lost the diamond in her wedding ring and we were talking about getting it replaced. I have two daughters in their early 20s and they were aghast at the idea..." So make that 8+!
- irrational 7y ago
  7
  - teh_klev 7y ago
    I understand now, props to you my friend :)
  - 7y ago
bradlys 7y ago
I can understand getting the kids up for elementary school (especially if they're very young) but even when I was in 5th grade - I was getting up myself, eating breakfast I made, and walking to school by myself. My parents were frequently gone by the time I woke up because they had to be at work before I had to be at school. In middle school (6th - 8th) - it was no different for the rest except that I walked or biked across town. High school was a bit closer but I still walked or biked. Bus was an option but I skipped it because it took too long (I was the first stop on a long many stop route). Obviously, if they need transport because you're 5+ miles away and there's no buses then I understand transporting them takes a lot of time. Regardless, shouldn't your children be somewhat self-sufficient by 10 years of age? You make it sound like you have to do everything for them for it to take 3+ hours every morning.
- irrational 7y ago
  I'm a nightowl, and so are my kids. They will happily stay up to the early morning hours reading. Getting them out of bed in the mornings is a major pain in the butt. But, they will happily sleep in and miss the start of school if I'm not there.
  - bradlys 7y ago
    But isn't learning how to get up in the morning a part of growing up...? (Same with going to bed on time) Couldn't it be taught just like cooking their own food and grooming themselves? I learned pretty quickly the consequences of tardiness by getting detention, lower grades, etc. Now - if they don't care one damn about school then I think that's a separate problem and them avoiding school by sleeping in is just highlighting a separate problem. If they have a really hard time getting up every morning and can't sleep at night then they could have insomnia and do well with at least some acknowledgement of it. I suffered with insomnia for over a decade. It was due to horrible amounts of stress. Back to you: If they're always expecting their parents to wake them up every morning - how are they going to fare when (if?) they move out?
    - christophilus 7y ago
beamatronic 7y ago
After you drop them off, but before you go to work - can you work from home at your kitchen table with your laptop and coffee?
- irrational 7y ago
  I could, but I don't need to. My work is super chill. I show up when I want to and leave when I want to. We are encouraged to use the fitness facilities every day, so I usually spend an hour or so working out midday as well.
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
SamReidHughes 7y ago
This is baffling. After elementary school, my parents didn't have to think about me at all in the morning. During elementary school, my mom gave me a ride to school on the way to work, and if anybody needed waking up, it was her. A few times in middle school, I missed the bus.
mikelyons 7y ago
I wonder why we are required to work 8 hours instead of just 2 every day.
saeranv 7y ago
I'm curious about what you need to do to get your kids ready for school? I'm not sure what age middle schoolers are (haven't heard of that term before), but shouldn't kids be capable of waking up, dressing, and going to school by themselves by they're hitting Gr.3 and up (and definitely by high school!).

echelon 7y ago

How do you do this? I would literally die. I can't live life so breathlessly with what sounds like no room for breaks. Are weekends even enough for you to recover? Forget burning out of a job, I'd burn out on life. Mad props to you. You've got a hell of a lot more discipline than I do. Your kids owe you.

irrational 7y ago
What is a weekend? Honestly, weekends are super busy. I actually look forward to Mondays when I can go back to work and sit in front of a computer for much of the day.
- hboon 7y ago
  I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.
segmondy 7y ago
This is the real life of folks with kids, so if you have coworkers with kids be a bit emphatic, now imagine them doing all this and having to worry because maybe one or more of them happen to be sick. If you have kids, either you become good with time management or life will beat the crap out of you.
- meddlepal 7y ago
  On one hand I agree with your statement, on the other hand, kids are a choice. Should I also be giving people lots of slack for getting drunk and coming to work hungover? That was a choice too. Don't respond with some biological need nonsense. Last time I checked we're not automatons that slavishly need to fulfill our biological needs.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
  - zamfi 7y ago
    I can’t tell if you’re trolling, but some people do believe this. Society benefits from people having (a reasonable number of) children. Without them, humanity is done. Perhaps you think that’s for the best anyway, in which case I wonder why you’re doing anything at all.
JohnFen 7y ago
I thought the same until I had kids. This sort of thing is part and parcel of having children, you really do learn not only to handle it, but to derive enjoyment from the situation overall. If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.
- jacobolus 7y ago
  > hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...). I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months old, and is way easier to take care of right now. If you just accept that you will be doing no independent creative work, then a 2+ year old isn’t too bad. They can start to “help” with routine chores, can walk around for themselves, can feed themselves, eventually stop needing diapers, etc. The work is not really hard per se. More like relentless.
  - colordrops 7y ago
    As a father, support of the mother takes lot more work when she's taking care of newborn than a 3 year old. As a mother, a newborn is certainly a lot more difficult, if not more physically taxing, than a 3 year old. Also, it takes months for the mother to recover from birth trauma.
    - jacobolus 7y ago
      This seems to vary from family to family / child to child. I wouldn’t describe anything (after maybe the birth itself, which I can’t answer about) related to our 6 month old so far as “difficult”. It is only “physically taxing” insofar as it takes a lot of time every day, and alongside other obligations (in particular, the 3-year-old) that leaves everyone a bit sleep deprived. I would say the 3-year-old takes at least twice as much time and 5x as much effort. (The work is stuff like reading books together, building block towers, running around the playground, preparing food, etc. Nothing especially challenging by itself.) My wife gets burned out pretty quickly when I leave her with both kids on the weekend for most of a day. She’s generally relieved to get back to the office on Monday and leave them to me. :-)
mumblemumble 7y ago
https://www.fowllanguagecomics.com/comic/long-weekend/ https://www.fowllanguagecomics.com/comic/long-weekend/
- irrational 7y ago
  That's brilliant! And so true.
TaylorAlexander 7y ago
I definitely couldn’t do it. After a few years at a corporate gig I’ve taken a new job with extremely flexible hours. I work 20 hours/4 days a week. Four five hour work days a week. It’s a HUGE difference. It’s crazy to me that people are willing to give so much of their life to their employer. Is your life not worth more to you than that? You’ll sell decades of your life just for a nice paycheck? Aside from the fact that it’s mostly all that’s on offer WHY do people do this?
- echelon 7y ago
  How much do you earn, if you don't mind my asking? And what sort of work is it?
  - TaylorAlexander 7y ago
    $100 an hour as an independent contractor developing farming robots at a place that feels very very good for me. EDIT: I definitely got very lucky finding this position. I’m not suggesting everyone can just do this. But if people don’t refuse to work 40-50 hour work weeks, then that’s what employers will expect.
    - solotronics 7y ago
      Even though people claim to work 40-50 hours many times they are spending half that time watching videos or messing around, this is a generalization of course.
      - TaylorAlexander 7y ago
        It’s true. It’s frustrating because when I was hourly at Google I was extremely mindful to always be working when I was billing. Don’t bill for lunch. Don’t bill for long coffee breaks, etc. But when I billed 30-35 hour weeks it felt like my manager thought I wasn’t working hard enough. It’s like... I was probably working just as much as many full time employees who don’t count their hours. My managers manager told me they expect people to sometimes work 50-60 hours on big projects and I was like “nooope”. 20 hours a week suits me nicely.
solotronics 7y ago
Meanwhile I'm over here having trouble getting up before 9am, I make up for it by spending time coding at night and on the weekends sometimes instead of paying video games. I figure if I bring something to work useful on Monday and say "hey! look at this cool thing I built over the weekend" people seem to leave me alone about coming to the office at 10/11am

teh_klev 7y ago

> I get up at 5am to start getting the kids up and ready for school I don't mean to pry or be cheeky or sound judgemental, but how many kids do you have that it takes 3-4 hours to get them all breakfasted and ready for school? And is school far away or just a 10-15 min drive? What are you doing during that time? I know kids can consume a lot of attention in the morning (especially the elementary lot), but that amount of time seems extraordinary. I'm 52 and my folks were never up before 7:30am to get us fed and watered and ready for school and there was still plenty of time for banter, making packed lunches etc. I'm genuinely interested.

OJFord 7y ago
Well, plural children in three categories of school (so 6+) was what caught my eye!
- teh_klev 7y ago
  I did notice the plurals. If so then I probably get it. That said, High Schoolers, if in their teens do tend to sleep in longer (unless they're those annoying up-with-the-lark types), and can be a bit more self sufficient when trained properly :) so you could knock an hour off that schedule.
- 171243 7y ago
  I actually went and read part of there post history and "My wife lost the diamond in her wedding ring and we were talking about getting it replaced. I have two daughters in their early 20s and they were aghast at the idea..." So make that 8+!
irrational 7y ago
7
- teh_klev 7y ago
  I understand now, props to you my friend :)
- 7y ago

bradlys 7y ago

I can understand getting the kids up for elementary school (especially if they're very young) but even when I was in 5th grade - I was getting up myself, eating breakfast I made, and walking to school by myself. My parents were frequently gone by the time I woke up because they had to be at work before I had to be at school. In middle school (6th - 8th) - it was no different for the rest except that I walked or biked across town. High school was a bit closer but I still walked or biked. Bus was an option but I skipped it because it took too long (I was the first stop on a long many stop route). Obviously, if they need transport because you're 5+ miles away and there's no buses then I understand transporting them takes a lot of time. Regardless, shouldn't your children be somewhat self-sufficient by 10 years of age? You make it sound like you have to do everything for them for it to take 3+ hours every morning.

irrational 7y ago
I'm a nightowl, and so are my kids. They will happily stay up to the early morning hours reading. Getting them out of bed in the mornings is a major pain in the butt. But, they will happily sleep in and miss the start of school if I'm not there.
- bradlys 7y ago
  But isn't learning how to get up in the morning a part of growing up...? (Same with going to bed on time) Couldn't it be taught just like cooking their own food and grooming themselves? I learned pretty quickly the consequences of tardiness by getting detention, lower grades, etc. Now - if they don't care one damn about school then I think that's a separate problem and them avoiding school by sleeping in is just highlighting a separate problem. If they have a really hard time getting up every morning and can't sleep at night then they could have insomnia and do well with at least some acknowledgement of it. I suffered with insomnia for over a decade. It was due to horrible amounts of stress. Back to you: If they're always expecting their parents to wake them up every morning - how are they going to fare when (if?) they move out?
  - christophilus 7y ago

beamatronic 7y ago

After you drop them off, but before you go to work - can you work from home at your kitchen table with your laptop and coffee?

irrational 7y ago
I could, but I don't need to. My work is super chill. I show up when I want to and leave when I want to. We are encouraged to use the fitness facilities every day, so I usually spend an hour or so working out midday as well.

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

SamReidHughes 7y ago

This is baffling. After elementary school, my parents didn't have to think about me at all in the morning. During elementary school, my mom gave me a ride to school on the way to work, and if anybody needed waking up, it was her. A few times in middle school, I missed the bus.

mikelyons 7y ago

I wonder why we are required to work 8 hours instead of just 2 every day.

saeranv 7y ago

I'm curious about what you need to do to get your kids ready for school? I'm not sure what age middle schoolers are (haven't heard of that term before), but shouldn't kids be capable of waking up, dressing, and going to school by themselves by they're hitting Gr.3 and up (and definitely by high school!).