3 ms·

To be fair, if you genuinely reflect what you care about in your profile text, and only interact with people who do so too, Tinder can work too. Has for me an

To be fair, if you genuinely reflect what you care about in your profile text, and only interact with people who do so too, Tinder can work too. Has for me anyway :) . Of course this relies somewhat on you doing some substantial swiping to find those profiles that do.

stared 7y ago
UX: The interface is pretty much against that (it requires at least 2 more click to see what's behind), and it seems to be intentional. Filtering - in software engineering terms, there is a difference between search with O(n) (going through all elements) and in O(log(n)) with a binary search. Let's assume that I would find 1% people good for dating (usually a tweet-length message is not enough). It is a lot of wasted time. Again, if you care more about looks than personality, then Tinder is a perfect tool. (Once I found a relationship on Tinder, and yes, the description stood out, but overall the signal-to-noise ratio is poor.) On OKC I can preselect for some things that are required.
- hombre_fatal 7y ago
  "Personality over looks" almost sounds like Nice Guy territory to me. It's dating. If you aren't even remotely attracted to the other person, then you're likely to waste both of yall's time with further action. You filter by looks all the time in the wild. Also, if you're willing to give people-you're-not-attracted-to a chance, how is Tinder any different? Are you saying you are never liked by someone on Tinder that you aren't attracted to? Nothing is stopping you from sticking around for their potentially amazing personality. I bet you just don't because you need some initial attraction like the rest of us whether online or at the bar. Usually this complaint has to do with men getting no matches. But it's basically men complaining that women with options don't pick them, and online dating sucks because it gives women too many options making it hard for them to compete. It's like country boys complaining about women moving to the city. The realities of dating were already brutal before online dating.
  - AnIdiotOnTheNet 7y ago
    > "Personality over looks" almost sounds like Nice Guy territory to me. It's dating. If you aren't even remotely attracted to the other person, then you're likely to waste both of yall's time with further action. You filter by looks all the time in the wild. Somewhat true, but in the real world you can grow attracted to someone who's appearance you initially did not have a positive reaction to. I know this from experience. This does not occur in online dating, which encourages treating people as commodities.
    - stared 7y ago
      You mean "Online Dating and the Death of the 'Mixed-Attractiveness' Couple Share" https://priceonomics.com/online-dating-and-the-death-of-the-mixed/ https://priceonomics.com/online-dating-and-the-death-of-the-... ?
  - stared 7y ago
    Oh, dear. Just because it works for you that way (and it's fine!) it does not mean it works for everyone that way. Sure, looks matter. But for me (given a similar age), I am 2-3 orders of magnitude (!) pickier in personality/goals/etc. You may say that for casual sex personality does not matter, but even then I want someone fun to talk to, safe, and drama-free. And for your record, I don't have a problem with getting matches. (Now in Asia, and as a European I get tons.) Also, it is maybe why I don't approach random strangers at a bar. Unless a science conference, rarely "fun to talk to".

stared 7y ago

UX: The interface is pretty much against that (it requires at least 2 more click to see what's behind), and it seems to be intentional. Filtering - in software engineering terms, there is a difference between search with O(n) (going through all elements) and in O(log(n)) with a binary search. Let's assume that I would find 1% people good for dating (usually a tweet-length message is not enough). It is a lot of wasted time. Again, if you care more about looks than personality, then Tinder is a perfect tool. (Once I found a relationship on Tinder, and yes, the description stood out, but overall the signal-to-noise ratio is poor.) On OKC I can preselect for some things that are required.

hombre_fatal 7y ago
"Personality over looks" almost sounds like Nice Guy territory to me. It's dating. If you aren't even remotely attracted to the other person, then you're likely to waste both of yall's time with further action. You filter by looks all the time in the wild. Also, if you're willing to give people-you're-not-attracted-to a chance, how is Tinder any different? Are you saying you are never liked by someone on Tinder that you aren't attracted to? Nothing is stopping you from sticking around for their potentially amazing personality. I bet you just don't because you need some initial attraction like the rest of us whether online or at the bar. Usually this complaint has to do with men getting no matches. But it's basically men complaining that women with options don't pick them, and online dating sucks because it gives women too many options making it hard for them to compete. It's like country boys complaining about women moving to the city. The realities of dating were already brutal before online dating.
- AnIdiotOnTheNet 7y ago
  > "Personality over looks" almost sounds like Nice Guy territory to me. It's dating. If you aren't even remotely attracted to the other person, then you're likely to waste both of yall's time with further action. You filter by looks all the time in the wild. Somewhat true, but in the real world you can grow attracted to someone who's appearance you initially did not have a positive reaction to. I know this from experience. This does not occur in online dating, which encourages treating people as commodities.
  - stared 7y ago
    You mean "Online Dating and the Death of the 'Mixed-Attractiveness' Couple Share" https://priceonomics.com/online-dating-and-the-death-of-the-mixed/ https://priceonomics.com/online-dating-and-the-death-of-the-... ?
- stared 7y ago
  Oh, dear. Just because it works for you that way (and it's fine!) it does not mean it works for everyone that way. Sure, looks matter. But for me (given a similar age), I am 2-3 orders of magnitude (!) pickier in personality/goals/etc. You may say that for casual sex personality does not matter, but even then I want someone fun to talk to, safe, and drama-free. And for your record, I don't have a problem with getting matches. (Now in Asia, and as a European I get tons.) Also, it is maybe why I don't approach random strangers at a bar. Unless a science conference, rarely "fun to talk to".