4 ms·

>What they really need is a "secret crush for FWB only" list: what if I have a friend that I'd be happy to be FWB with, but have zero interest in a serious rela

>What they really need is a "secret crush for FWB only" list: what if I have a friend that I'd be happy to be FWB with, but have zero interest in a serious relationship, but don't want to broach that topic with her for fear that it would mess up our friendship? This would be a perfect use for FB. Now there's an idea!

peterwwillis 7y ago
So just straight up ask the person "Have you ever thought about us hooking up?". If they don't want it, they'll just decline, and you can both get over it. Or they'll think you're a creep, and you won't be friends anymore, which is probably for the best seeing as you were harboring secret desires for this person. Either way, being up-front and honest will have a better result than letting Facebook connect you because you were too scared to broach the subject.
- magduf 7y ago
  >Because what people have been clamoring for is to know which of their friends like them more than is mutual, so they can feel weird. How the hell is this something despicable and wrong in your eyes? Honestly, you sound like you have some kind of psychological problem if you think it's wrong to be attracted to a friend.
  - peterwwillis 7y ago
    Calm down buddy. A lot of people are weirded out when they find out their friends want to screw them. It's a common problem for women that just want platonic friends.
    - magduf 7y ago
      Don't tell me to "calm down"; you sound like a patronizing asshole. You're injecting your prudish religious values here, not me. There's nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to people, and if you only make friends with opposite-sex people you find repulsive, then there's something wrong with you.
      - peterwwillis 7y ago
        I am patronizing you, but I'm not religious or prudish in the least, and I never said that nobody should ever be attracted to their friend; only that they might find it weird. You're not really listening to what I'm saying, though, you're just being defensive at the idea that your affections for your friends might be regarded badly. You can feel however you want about others, but don't expect them to be super flattered that you want to have sex with them. (Ok, you can expect whatever you want, but reality might be a different story)
        magduf 7y ago
        >but don't expect them to be super flattered that you want to have sex with them. Why the hell do you think I made the suggestion in the first place? Of course I realize this. >and I never said that nobody should ever be attracted to their friend; only that they might find it weird. Wrong. You called me out as some kind of freak for being attracted to friends. Go read your own writings above. The whole reason I made the suggestion is because of course I realize some would find it weird (or more accurately, uncomfortable) if their friend voiced their attraction out loud, so a 2-way match app would solve this problem without anyone being made to feel uncomfortable or anyone missing out on an opportunity because of being afraid of making their friends uncomfortable. You're the one who said this was morally wrong and that people should just tell their friends this and ruin their friendships.
        peterwwillis 7y ago
        I did say people should tell their friends, because I find being honest and straightforward to be more virtuous (and realistic) than being secretive. But I never called you a freak, and I certainly never said it was immoral to be attracted to friends. If I thought those things I would just say so.

peterwwillis 7y ago

So just straight up ask the person "Have you ever thought about us hooking up?". If they don't want it, they'll just decline, and you can both get over it. Or they'll think you're a creep, and you won't be friends anymore, which is probably for the best seeing as you were harboring secret desires for this person. Either way, being up-front and honest will have a better result than letting Facebook connect you because you were too scared to broach the subject.

magduf 7y ago
>Because what people have been clamoring for is to know which of their friends like them more than is mutual, so they can feel weird. How the hell is this something despicable and wrong in your eyes? Honestly, you sound like you have some kind of psychological problem if you think it's wrong to be attracted to a friend.
- peterwwillis 7y ago
  Calm down buddy. A lot of people are weirded out when they find out their friends want to screw them. It's a common problem for women that just want platonic friends.
  - magduf 7y ago
    Don't tell me to "calm down"; you sound like a patronizing asshole. You're injecting your prudish religious values here, not me. There's nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to people, and if you only make friends with opposite-sex people you find repulsive, then there's something wrong with you.
    - peterwwillis 7y ago
      I am patronizing you, but I'm not religious or prudish in the least, and I never said that nobody should ever be attracted to their friend; only that they might find it weird. You're not really listening to what I'm saying, though, you're just being defensive at the idea that your affections for your friends might be regarded badly. You can feel however you want about others, but don't expect them to be super flattered that you want to have sex with them. (Ok, you can expect whatever you want, but reality might be a different story)
      - magduf 7y ago
        >but don't expect them to be super flattered that you want to have sex with them. Why the hell do you think I made the suggestion in the first place? Of course I realize this. >and I never said that nobody should ever be attracted to their friend; only that they might find it weird. Wrong. You called me out as some kind of freak for being attracted to friends. Go read your own writings above. The whole reason I made the suggestion is because of course I realize some would find it weird (or more accurately, uncomfortable) if their friend voiced their attraction out loud, so a 2-way match app would solve this problem without anyone being made to feel uncomfortable or anyone missing out on an opportunity because of being afraid of making their friends uncomfortable. You're the one who said this was morally wrong and that people should just tell their friends this and ruin their friendships.
        peterwwillis 7y ago
        I did say people should tell their friends, because I find being honest and straightforward to be more virtuous (and realistic) than being secretive. But I never called you a freak, and I certainly never said it was immoral to be attracted to friends. If I thought those things I would just say so.