4 ms·

I've had a few friends passive aggressively mention I am the reason our group chat is MMS vs iMessage. Or even worse: I just simply got excluded from group cha

I've had a few friends passive aggressively mention I am the reason our group chat is MMS vs iMessage. Or even worse: I just simply got excluded from group chats. That was the saddest one because when hanging out in person, a friend will mention a conversation from the group chat and I wouldn't know what's going on and they would just awkwardly pretend it didn't happen. Or say they'd add me to the group and never actually do it. iMessage FOMO is a real thing and the social pressure (in the US at least) is insane.

kevin_thibedeau 7y ago
Blue bubbles good. Green bubbles bad.
JohnFen 7y ago
> the social pressure (in the US at least) is insane. This isn't a US-wide thing. This is about the priorities of a certain subculture, nothing more. Your friends just happen to be embedded in that subculture. My condolences.
- wuliwong 7y ago
  The subculture of people who have iPhones? As much as Apple would want this to be, I don't believe there is a cohesive subculture that describes all iPhone users.
  - vitobcn 7y ago
    In my experience, in most countries (and outside the US especially) WhatsApp has already won the network effects battle, and it's the default messaging app in any smartphone. Even people with iPhone will all have WhatsApp installed.
    - ubercow13 7y ago
      In western Europe maybe, not in Asia for example
      - exhilaration 7y ago
        What part of Asia? I'm guessing you mean China/Korea/Japan. Whatsapp is by far the dominant messaging platform on the Indian subcontinent, extending as far the Middle East.
      - vitobcn 7y ago
        Here's a map that shows WhatsApp leading in most regions. And for Europe, even in countries where FB Messenger is the dominant app, most people will still have WhatsApp installed to ensure good "friend coverage". It is common to have (and regularly use) at least 2 if not more messaging apps. https://rocketbots.io/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/AppMap_5a9b11e83ee33a2399b620351cb83ce5_800.png https://rocketbots.io/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/AppMap_5a9b...
      - shrikant 7y ago
        Where in Asia? The #1 (by a VERY LARGE margin) messaging apps in India, China, and S. Korea (at least) are all not iMessage. (Whatsapp, WeChat, and KakaoTalk respectively.)
    - derefr 7y ago
      Interesting; in whatever cultural bubble I'm embedded in, every group chat (even among five friends without any shared purpose) is its own Discord server.
      - thirdsun 7y ago
        I doubt that includes family, co-workers or neighbors, right? Here in germany WhatsApp is so ubiquitous that beside various friends circles you'll likely have groups for family, work, (sports) clubs, or your fellow kindergarten parents, etc. It's the default form of mobile communication here.
  - JohnFen 7y ago
    No, the subculture isn't "all people who have iPhones". It's a specific subset of people who have iPhones.
viraptor 7y ago
If you've got friends who have time to complain about it, but not the time to move conversation to WhatsApp/FB/line/telegram/WeChat/...anything and prefer to exclude you, are they really friends? This honestly makes me angry when people say they're pressured into buying a high cost device.
- garysahota93 7y ago
  I agree! Trust me, I was resentful for buying an iPhone too. They are my friend because we can't really move the conversation to any other platform. Some of my friends took #DeleteFacebook very seriously and deleted Insta/WhatsApp/FB while others refuse to download Line/WeChat/Telegram or any others because I'd be the only one they'd use that with. The network effect is bad and the only "standardized" communication platform that we all have is SMS. But because they are all iPhone users, it defaults to iMessage and they hate me for causing them to default to SMS/MMS because they see it as "slower and not as instant"... So other than emailing one another, there wasn't really any other options...
  - viraptor 7y ago
    > because I'd be the only one they'd use that with I started using hangouts, WhatsApp, signal, FB, and just yesterday line for a single person. This is really not a good excuse. People should be more important than tech.
    - garysahota93 7y ago
      Agreed. Unfortunately, many millennials don't see it that way. There's so many stories about the Green Bubble effect and how lazy people are to switch to anything else. It's sad.
- dkonofalski 7y ago
  >not the time to move conversation to WhatsApp/FB/line/telegram/WeChat/ None of these are an alternative to iMessage. They all either are missing key features or require you to deal with unencrypted communications or relayed encryption.
bscphil 7y ago
To be fair, if I was in such a group I would probably be the one passive aggressive about them using a messaging suite locked into a single platform too expensive for most people to afford (instead of Signal, Whatsapp, etc), so maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on your friends.
snazz 7y ago
This is my friends too. I gave in to the pressure for a different reason, so it’s nice to not be excluded again. GroupMe seems to be the lowest common denominator for proper group chats (50+ people).

kevin_thibedeau 7y ago

Blue bubbles good. Green bubbles bad.

JohnFen 7y ago

> the social pressure (in the US at least) is insane. This isn't a US-wide thing. This is about the priorities of a certain subculture, nothing more. Your friends just happen to be embedded in that subculture. My condolences.

wuliwong 7y ago
The subculture of people who have iPhones? As much as Apple would want this to be, I don't believe there is a cohesive subculture that describes all iPhone users.
- vitobcn 7y ago
  In my experience, in most countries (and outside the US especially) WhatsApp has already won the network effects battle, and it's the default messaging app in any smartphone. Even people with iPhone will all have WhatsApp installed.
  - ubercow13 7y ago
    In western Europe maybe, not in Asia for example
    - exhilaration 7y ago
      What part of Asia? I'm guessing you mean China/Korea/Japan. Whatsapp is by far the dominant messaging platform on the Indian subcontinent, extending as far the Middle East.
    - vitobcn 7y ago
      Here's a map that shows WhatsApp leading in most regions. And for Europe, even in countries where FB Messenger is the dominant app, most people will still have WhatsApp installed to ensure good "friend coverage". It is common to have (and regularly use) at least 2 if not more messaging apps. https://rocketbots.io/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/AppMap_5a9b11e83ee33a2399b620351cb83ce5_800.png https://rocketbots.io/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/AppMap_5a9b...
    - shrikant 7y ago
      Where in Asia? The #1 (by a VERY LARGE margin) messaging apps in India, China, and S. Korea (at least) are all not iMessage. (Whatsapp, WeChat, and KakaoTalk respectively.)
  - derefr 7y ago
    Interesting; in whatever cultural bubble I'm embedded in, every group chat (even among five friends without any shared purpose) is its own Discord server.
    - thirdsun 7y ago
      I doubt that includes family, co-workers or neighbors, right? Here in germany WhatsApp is so ubiquitous that beside various friends circles you'll likely have groups for family, work, (sports) clubs, or your fellow kindergarten parents, etc. It's the default form of mobile communication here.
- JohnFen 7y ago
  No, the subculture isn't "all people who have iPhones". It's a specific subset of people who have iPhones.

viraptor 7y ago

If you've got friends who have time to complain about it, but not the time to move conversation to WhatsApp/FB/line/telegram/WeChat/...anything and prefer to exclude you, are they really friends? This honestly makes me angry when people say they're pressured into buying a high cost device.

garysahota93 7y ago
I agree! Trust me, I was resentful for buying an iPhone too. They are my friend because we can't really move the conversation to any other platform. Some of my friends took #DeleteFacebook very seriously and deleted Insta/WhatsApp/FB while others refuse to download Line/WeChat/Telegram or any others because I'd be the only one they'd use that with. The network effect is bad and the only "standardized" communication platform that we all have is SMS. But because they are all iPhone users, it defaults to iMessage and they hate me for causing them to default to SMS/MMS because they see it as "slower and not as instant"... So other than emailing one another, there wasn't really any other options...
- viraptor 7y ago
  > because I'd be the only one they'd use that with I started using hangouts, WhatsApp, signal, FB, and just yesterday line for a single person. This is really not a good excuse. People should be more important than tech.
  - garysahota93 7y ago
    Agreed. Unfortunately, many millennials don't see it that way. There's so many stories about the Green Bubble effect and how lazy people are to switch to anything else. It's sad.
dkonofalski 7y ago
>not the time to move conversation to WhatsApp/FB/line/telegram/WeChat/ None of these are an alternative to iMessage. They all either are missing key features or require you to deal with unencrypted communications or relayed encryption.

bscphil 7y ago

To be fair, if I was in such a group I would probably be the one passive aggressive about them using a messaging suite locked into a single platform too expensive for most people to afford (instead of Signal, Whatsapp, etc), so maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on your friends.

snazz 7y ago

This is my friends too. I gave in to the pressure for a different reason, so it’s nice to not be excluded again. GroupMe seems to be the lowest common denominator for proper group chats (50+ people).