I wouldn't go that far. He may well not buy in to the social hype, but understand that it exists and begrudgingly play the game his own way for appearances only

I wouldn't go that far. He may well not buy in to the social hype, but understand that it exists and begrudgingly play the game his own way for appearances only. It'd be the smartest move in many cases. The game is rigged so lying to beat it isn't something I'd condemn, especially if his wife is of the same mind. I definitely agree with your last point, but wasting resources to display fitness is found all across the animal kingdom and sadly it doesn't seem like we've moved past that yet as a species.