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I'm not even positive is the same concept as the author is referring to, but long ago someone told me "(almost) no one views themselves as a villain in the sto

I'm not even positive is the same concept as the author is referring to, but long ago someone told me "(almost) no one views themselves as a villain in the story of their life" Remembering one concept has been incredibly helpful with difficult situations over the years. When someone is behaving in a way I find problematic, is opposing what I find is right, or generally acting "crazy", it is incredibly useful to remind myself that, in their telling of the story, they will somehow be the hero. Spending time figuring out how that can be has given me valuable insight and let me find win-win solutions that were seeming intractable

pessimizer 7y ago
> they will somehow be the hero. Or the victim. A lot of actual villains think of themselves as having been made a villain. The story is often that they realized through their own victimization that non-villains were just prey, or that the reason they are bad now is because someone or something destroyed all of the good within them.
- topkai22 7y ago
  True, and important because it can cause awful outcomes, but in my experience people are generally just operating from a different set of priors, perspectives, and incentives. As they say about paranoia, sometimes they really are out to get you. But you probably shouldn’t live life assuming that all the time.
  - aldoushuxley001 7y ago
    Unfortunate to see you being downvoted for such a sober perspective
  - LocalH 7y ago
    That's the problem with behavioral discussions - at least amongst the general public at large, there is almost an epidemic inability to analyze a situation from any other perspective other than one's own. Unfortunately, many of those people are also politicians and lawmakers.
beagle3 7y ago
Very true; there is a complementary concept, not less important, which is "people see the world not as it is, but as they are" -- together with the "(almost) no one is a villain in their own narrative (but some are victims) ", gives an even better perspective and understanding of the world.
deleted 7y ago
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pessimizer 7y ago

> they will somehow be the hero. Or the victim. A lot of actual villains think of themselves as having been made a villain. The story is often that they realized through their own victimization that non-villains were just prey, or that the reason they are bad now is because someone or something destroyed all of the good within them.

topkai22 7y ago
True, and important because it can cause awful outcomes, but in my experience people are generally just operating from a different set of priors, perspectives, and incentives. As they say about paranoia, sometimes they really are out to get you. But you probably shouldn’t live life assuming that all the time.
- aldoushuxley001 7y ago
  Unfortunate to see you being downvoted for such a sober perspective
- LocalH 7y ago
  That's the problem with behavioral discussions - at least amongst the general public at large, there is almost an epidemic inability to analyze a situation from any other perspective other than one's own. Unfortunately, many of those people are also politicians and lawmakers.

beagle3 7y ago

Very true; there is a complementary concept, not less important, which is "people see the world not as it is, but as they are" -- together with the "(almost) no one is a villain in their own narrative (but some are victims) ", gives an even better perspective and understanding of the world.

deleted 7y ago

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