3 ms·

It isn't for the secret-listener to decide what is worthwhile to hold in confidence. A small secret shouldn't be disclosed just because the person that heard it

It isn't for the secret-listener to decide what is worthwhile to hold in confidence. A small secret shouldn't be disclosed just because the person that heard it thinks that it isn't worth keeping secret. Besides, I don't think contemporary community standards would consider coming out as gay as being a small secret. Generalizing further, it really isn't fair for me to classify any of these as big or small. One person may consider coming out as gay as no big deal and hide past sexual abuse, while another may consider disclosing past sexual abuse as no big deal and not disclose sexual orientation. It isn't for me to decide which is bigger than the other.

pyre 16y ago
> Besides, I don't think contemporary community standards > would consider coming out as gay as being a small secret. Well, I agree that coming out shouldn't be viewed as a small secret. Though I feel in the minds of a lot of people "something that are you are" is more likely to be fair game for rumor and ridicule than "something (especially a trauma) that has happened to you." I.e. confiding a tragedy/trauma to someone will more universally be perceived as 'serious' and 'a big deal' in terms of keeping confidences.
- 2oi03i9fhujcnd 16y ago
  Good point distinguishing between rumor mill and personal trauma. I think that might only affect the number of people that are told, though. Rumor mill will spread like wildfire. Trauma will be told to one other person, and the one other person will probably keep it to himself. It is possible that the first person won't disclose further. Bill seems to have made a general social commentary about finding that person is very difficult. He couldn't trust his family. He tried friends and that didn't work. Counselors wouldn't work. How many people do you have to try? Many people say try until you die of natural causes. Others say this was enough.

pyre 16y ago

> Besides, I don't think contemporary community standards > would consider coming out as gay as being a small secret. Well, I agree that coming out shouldn't be viewed as a small secret. Though I feel in the minds of a lot of people "something that are you are" is more likely to be fair game for rumor and ridicule than "something (especially a trauma) that has happened to you." I.e. confiding a tragedy/trauma to someone will more universally be perceived as 'serious' and 'a big deal' in terms of keeping confidences.

2oi03i9fhujcnd 16y ago
Good point distinguishing between rumor mill and personal trauma. I think that might only affect the number of people that are told, though. Rumor mill will spread like wildfire. Trauma will be told to one other person, and the one other person will probably keep it to himself. It is possible that the first person won't disclose further. Bill seems to have made a general social commentary about finding that person is very difficult. He couldn't trust his family. He tried friends and that didn't work. Counselors wouldn't work. How many people do you have to try? Many people say try until you die of natural causes. Others say this was enough.