5 ms·

What I described is both possible and commonly done. Again, I'm not saying it's easy I'm just saying how it's done. You might be surprised what worlds open up t

What I described is both possible and commonly done. Again, I'm not saying it's easy I'm just saying how it's done. You might be surprised what worlds open up to you when your social skills improve. Believe me, I used to be terrible socially (like, seriously) and I learned a lot since.

mlthoughts2018 7y ago
You’re wildly ignoring the side effects. When you say “it’s commonly done” you are saying that annoying people, upsetting people, intruding on people, pressuring people is even more commonly done. > Believe me, I used to be terrible socially (like, seriously) and I learned a lot since. Clearly not! Your obliviousness in this very conversation, let alone how tone deaf you must sound to the many people you inevitably offend through an antiquated conversational tactic you mistakenly think remains applicable, are strong signals to the contrary.
- wendyshu 7y ago
  Is it possible to upset people if you don't have social skills? Absolutely. Is is possible to have sufficient social skills to not upset people? Yup. Is it possible to improve social skills over time? It is.
  - mlthoughts2018 7y ago
    All statements that are unrelated to the discussion at hand. What’s merely possible is of no concern. In fact it’s quite telling that you repeat this rhetorical game, side-stepping sincere engagement with the topic.
- EliRivers 7y ago
  You've bought into the incel etc commentary that tells you every woman (I'm 99% sure you're male and identify as such - happy to be shot down if that's not the case) is just itching to lodge a sexual harassment complaint against you because you said something polite to them in passing. By all means, you live in your fantasy world, but people who are able to communicate effectively with people of the opposite sex do so daily while managing not to get arrested for it. Your language, with its host of technical sounding terms to hide behind, and your narrow focus, makes it clear that you are the literalist I mentioned in another comment. Your attitude and beliefs are crippling your ability to communicate, even as you tell yourself that you're an excellent communicator, treating the English language as if it were some kind of logical set and treating communication as if it were some kind of well-defined, internally consistent theorem. Hard truths that I wouldn't have said to you in person, but here I'm a line of text on a screen and so are you. Good luck.
  - mlthoughts2018 7y ago
    What a wild place it must be in your mind to try to draw fantastical conclusions about things you don’t know anything about. I do not buy into incel or MRA language whatsoever, and feel those groups have utterly no point or legs to stand on. I do not at all think that most women are “itching” to make harassment claims as you say, not at all. Being annoying to the people you approach for dating is not the same thing as harassing them. I’m talking about how the troglodyte approach of assuming you know how to read body language and then hitting on someone at the grocery store leads to bothering people (not harassing them) and is something society clearly doesn’t want, given the dramatic adoption of online dating. What a self-absorbed assumption to think, “I have good communication skills, therefore I can infer this person’s demeanor means they are receptive to a casual advance.” People would rather buy groceries or drop off the laundry without having their general friendly demeanor taken as a signal they want to be hit on. Gee, what a shock. Frankly you sound like a self-righteous kook asserting this dreamed up half Myers-Briggs half horoscope caricature you’re insulting me with based on ~ 4 paragraphs of text data sample. What incredible lack of self-awareness that must take.

mlthoughts2018 7y ago

You’re wildly ignoring the side effects. When you say “it’s commonly done” you are saying that annoying people, upsetting people, intruding on people, pressuring people is even more commonly done. > Believe me, I used to be terrible socially (like, seriously) and I learned a lot since. Clearly not! Your obliviousness in this very conversation, let alone how tone deaf you must sound to the many people you inevitably offend through an antiquated conversational tactic you mistakenly think remains applicable, are strong signals to the contrary.

wendyshu 7y ago
Is it possible to upset people if you don't have social skills? Absolutely. Is is possible to have sufficient social skills to not upset people? Yup. Is it possible to improve social skills over time? It is.
- mlthoughts2018 7y ago
  All statements that are unrelated to the discussion at hand. What’s merely possible is of no concern. In fact it’s quite telling that you repeat this rhetorical game, side-stepping sincere engagement with the topic.
EliRivers 7y ago
You've bought into the incel etc commentary that tells you every woman (I'm 99% sure you're male and identify as such - happy to be shot down if that's not the case) is just itching to lodge a sexual harassment complaint against you because you said something polite to them in passing. By all means, you live in your fantasy world, but people who are able to communicate effectively with people of the opposite sex do so daily while managing not to get arrested for it. Your language, with its host of technical sounding terms to hide behind, and your narrow focus, makes it clear that you are the literalist I mentioned in another comment. Your attitude and beliefs are crippling your ability to communicate, even as you tell yourself that you're an excellent communicator, treating the English language as if it were some kind of logical set and treating communication as if it were some kind of well-defined, internally consistent theorem. Hard truths that I wouldn't have said to you in person, but here I'm a line of text on a screen and so are you. Good luck.
- mlthoughts2018 7y ago
  What a wild place it must be in your mind to try to draw fantastical conclusions about things you don’t know anything about. I do not buy into incel or MRA language whatsoever, and feel those groups have utterly no point or legs to stand on. I do not at all think that most women are “itching” to make harassment claims as you say, not at all. Being annoying to the people you approach for dating is not the same thing as harassing them. I’m talking about how the troglodyte approach of assuming you know how to read body language and then hitting on someone at the grocery store leads to bothering people (not harassing them) and is something society clearly doesn’t want, given the dramatic adoption of online dating. What a self-absorbed assumption to think, “I have good communication skills, therefore I can infer this person’s demeanor means they are receptive to a casual advance.” People would rather buy groceries or drop off the laundry without having their general friendly demeanor taken as a signal they want to be hit on. Gee, what a shock. Frankly you sound like a self-righteous kook asserting this dreamed up half Myers-Briggs half horoscope caricature you’re insulting me with based on ~ 4 paragraphs of text data sample. What incredible lack of self-awareness that must take.