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Start by being friendly and subtle, gauge feedback, then escalate a bit or don't. If she doesn't play along, that's fine you were just being social. Keep it res

Start by being friendly and subtle, gauge feedback, then escalate a bit or don't. If she doesn't play along, that's fine you were just being social. Keep it respectful and light. This is expected, normal, and natural. It takes practice. I'm not saying it's easy I'm just saying how it's done.

MaximumYComb 7y ago
I know how to flirt, the issue is a lot of women don't want guys flirting with them constantly. In another reply, I mentioned how the demographics of my city have a lot of men from a middle eastern background. Their culture is much more forward and the women I know in my life complain about getting constantly hit on. This isn't an issue of me being socially incompetent, it's about me trying to be a decent human and not annoy women who are constantly being annoyed. Likewise, I don't want to hit on women in a workplace setting because I feel that people should be able to come to work without being made to feel uncomfortable. Some women may like it but some will feel uncomfortable and it's the latter group I'm being respectful towards. My policies mean I probably sleep with fewer women than I could but dating in 2019 is already stupidly easy.
- solotronics 7y ago
  From what I can tell the perceived value of a guy impacts the reaction of him hitting on a girl. If your read the tinder statistics middle eastern guys have it harder (seen as lower socially). If you're a successful rich good looking guy girls will love your attention. It seems primitive but hey were just animals at the end of the day.
- danenania 7y ago
  [deleted]
  - shahbaby 7y ago
    And this is how men turn into orbiters. You carefully calibrate your approach while she sleeps around with much better looking men who don't need to. It's pretty sad.
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]
- turtlecloud 7y ago
  If you are in Europe, my understanding is that the middle eastern people hit on women a lot because their impression is that white/western women are easy/promiscuous.
  - username90 7y ago
    Middle eastern men hit on women a lot since refugees are overwhelmingly male, meaning that you have a lot of guaranteed bachelors among them who gets desperate. > men made up nearly three-fourths (73%) of Europe’s asylum seekers in 2015. https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2016/08/02/number-of-refugees-to-europe-surges-to-record-1-3-million-in-2015/ https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2016/08/02/number-of-refu...
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]
mlthoughts2018 7y ago
This is comically terrible advice. You can’t read someone’s mind even if their body language suggests openness. “Escalate a bit or don’t” is just a bonkers thing to say. There’s such a high risk you are just bothering the other person and no matter how receptive they seem they have infinite entitlement to retroactively claim you were being creepy or pushy or annoying or anything else. The risk is so asymmetrically high that in fact people would rather nauseatingly scroll through self-absorbed profiles online than to express willingness in public spaces.
- wendyshu 7y ago
  What I described is both possible and commonly done. Again, I'm not saying it's easy I'm just saying how it's done. You might be surprised what worlds open up to you when your social skills improve. Believe me, I used to be terrible socially (like, seriously) and I learned a lot since.
  - mlthoughts2018 7y ago
    You’re wildly ignoring the side effects. When you say “it’s commonly done” you are saying that annoying people, upsetting people, intruding on people, pressuring people is even more commonly done. > Believe me, I used to be terrible socially (like, seriously) and I learned a lot since. Clearly not! Your obliviousness in this very conversation, let alone how tone deaf you must sound to the many people you inevitably offend through an antiquated conversational tactic you mistakenly think remains applicable, are strong signals to the contrary.
    - wendyshu 7y ago
      Is it possible to upset people if you don't have social skills? Absolutely. Is is possible to have sufficient social skills to not upset people? Yup. Is it possible to improve social skills over time? It is.
      - mlthoughts2018 7y ago
        All statements that are unrelated to the discussion at hand. What’s merely possible is of no concern. In fact it’s quite telling that you repeat this rhetorical game, side-stepping sincere engagement with the topic.
0x8BADF00D 7y ago
Translation: if I find you attractive talk to me, else don’t. Not very actionable advice. A dating app will at least clear the hurdle of the first part.
- wendyshu 7y ago
  Well yeah, you don't know until you try. Dating apps may well be more efficient than in-person flirting, I'm just claiming that the in-person flirting method is not impossible.
  - 0x8BADF00D 7y ago
    Sure, it’s not impossible. It’s actually my preferred way of meeting women. But it can be a huge hurdle, especially if you have not been initiated. It’s perfectly alright to meet people on dating apps, especially if you don’t have much experience dating. At the end of the day all dating advice is spurious IMO, you have to experience it in order to truly understand it.
yhoneycomb 7y ago
Lmao OF COURSE there's a highly upvoted comment on a tech website saying this is terrible advice. It's literally how it's done. Tbh if she's into you it doesn't really matter what you say. Let me put this into an if else statement for you knuckleheads to understand: print("Wow this is a really long line!") if response == "Girl turns toward you, looks excited and tries to continue conversation": keep talking and see where it goes else if == "Girl continues the conversation but it's difficult to see if she's interested": keep talking and see where it goes else if == "Girl doesn't respond or responds without looking at you, or looks away from you": stop talking, she's not interested
- username90 7y ago
  > print("Wow this is a really long line!") Nobody does that, at least where I live. So just that one line would be seen as too forward and flirty and annoying. And it is right, I would be very uncomfortable if I knew that every time I visited the grocery store some stranger would likely try to strike up a conversation with me.
  - yhoneycomb 7y ago
    Are you male or female?

MaximumYComb 7y ago

I know how to flirt, the issue is a lot of women don't want guys flirting with them constantly. In another reply, I mentioned how the demographics of my city have a lot of men from a middle eastern background. Their culture is much more forward and the women I know in my life complain about getting constantly hit on. This isn't an issue of me being socially incompetent, it's about me trying to be a decent human and not annoy women who are constantly being annoyed. Likewise, I don't want to hit on women in a workplace setting because I feel that people should be able to come to work without being made to feel uncomfortable. Some women may like it but some will feel uncomfortable and it's the latter group I'm being respectful towards. My policies mean I probably sleep with fewer women than I could but dating in 2019 is already stupidly easy.

solotronics 7y ago
From what I can tell the perceived value of a guy impacts the reaction of him hitting on a girl. If your read the tinder statistics middle eastern guys have it harder (seen as lower socially). If you're a successful rich good looking guy girls will love your attention. It seems primitive but hey were just animals at the end of the day.
danenania 7y ago
[deleted]
- shahbaby 7y ago
  And this is how men turn into orbiters. You carefully calibrate your approach while she sleeps around with much better looking men who don't need to. It's pretty sad.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
turtlecloud 7y ago
If you are in Europe, my understanding is that the middle eastern people hit on women a lot because their impression is that white/western women are easy/promiscuous.
- username90 7y ago
  Middle eastern men hit on women a lot since refugees are overwhelmingly male, meaning that you have a lot of guaranteed bachelors among them who gets desperate. > men made up nearly three-fourths (73%) of Europe’s asylum seekers in 2015. https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2016/08/02/number-of-refugees-to-europe-surges-to-record-1-3-million-in-2015/ https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2016/08/02/number-of-refu...
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]

mlthoughts2018 7y ago

This is comically terrible advice. You can’t read someone’s mind even if their body language suggests openness. “Escalate a bit or don’t” is just a bonkers thing to say. There’s such a high risk you are just bothering the other person and no matter how receptive they seem they have infinite entitlement to retroactively claim you were being creepy or pushy or annoying or anything else. The risk is so asymmetrically high that in fact people would rather nauseatingly scroll through self-absorbed profiles online than to express willingness in public spaces.

wendyshu 7y ago
What I described is both possible and commonly done. Again, I'm not saying it's easy I'm just saying how it's done. You might be surprised what worlds open up to you when your social skills improve. Believe me, I used to be terrible socially (like, seriously) and I learned a lot since.
- mlthoughts2018 7y ago
  You’re wildly ignoring the side effects. When you say “it’s commonly done” you are saying that annoying people, upsetting people, intruding on people, pressuring people is even more commonly done. > Believe me, I used to be terrible socially (like, seriously) and I learned a lot since. Clearly not! Your obliviousness in this very conversation, let alone how tone deaf you must sound to the many people you inevitably offend through an antiquated conversational tactic you mistakenly think remains applicable, are strong signals to the contrary.
  - wendyshu 7y ago
    Is it possible to upset people if you don't have social skills? Absolutely. Is is possible to have sufficient social skills to not upset people? Yup. Is it possible to improve social skills over time? It is.
    - mlthoughts2018 7y ago
      All statements that are unrelated to the discussion at hand. What’s merely possible is of no concern. In fact it’s quite telling that you repeat this rhetorical game, side-stepping sincere engagement with the topic.

0x8BADF00D 7y ago

Translation: if I find you attractive talk to me, else don’t. Not very actionable advice. A dating app will at least clear the hurdle of the first part.

wendyshu 7y ago
Well yeah, you don't know until you try. Dating apps may well be more efficient than in-person flirting, I'm just claiming that the in-person flirting method is not impossible.
- 0x8BADF00D 7y ago
  Sure, it’s not impossible. It’s actually my preferred way of meeting women. But it can be a huge hurdle, especially if you have not been initiated. It’s perfectly alright to meet people on dating apps, especially if you don’t have much experience dating. At the end of the day all dating advice is spurious IMO, you have to experience it in order to truly understand it.

yhoneycomb 7y ago

Lmao OF COURSE there's a highly upvoted comment on a tech website saying this is terrible advice. It's literally how it's done. Tbh if she's into you it doesn't really matter what you say. Let me put this into an if else statement for you knuckleheads to understand: print("Wow this is a really long line!") if response == "Girl turns toward you, looks excited and tries to continue conversation": keep talking and see where it goes else if == "Girl continues the conversation but it's difficult to see if she's interested": keep talking and see where it goes else if == "Girl doesn't respond or responds without looking at you, or looks away from you": stop talking, she's not interested

username90 7y ago
> print("Wow this is a really long line!") Nobody does that, at least where I live. So just that one line would be seen as too forward and flirty and annoying. And it is right, I would be very uncomfortable if I knew that every time I visited the grocery store some stranger would likely try to strike up a conversation with me.
- yhoneycomb 7y ago
  Are you male or female?