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> He answered, almost without thought, “Because that’s the only thing that will make you uncomfortable. I think this article is well written, albeit a little e
by sev 16y ago
> He answered, almost without thought, “Because that’s the only thing that will make you uncomfortable.
I think this article is well written, albeit a little extreme with some of it's points. The behavior of the man the author had anal sex with is obviously not the norm, and yet she uses the event as a way to describe the norm.
- erikpukinskis 16y agoShe described his behavior, asking to make her uncomfortable, as uncommonly honest, so she agrees with you it's not the norm. I think her point is that the underlying desire is the norm, while the open and respectful request for consent as not.
- sev 16y agoI just don't think that the underlying desire, to make women uncomfortable, is the norm.
- philwelch 16y agoIt seems more like the author wants to be debased as much as men want to debase her--note how she describes aggressive, debasing, apparently non-committed sex as "the best sex [a woman's] had in her life", and describes her own reaction to that particular encounter as complying "without hesitation".
- SapphireSun 16y agoI think her compliance is simpler than that. If I believe something for a long time, and finally someone admits it, I cut them some slack, partly because it's funny.
- T-R 16y agoI think that's his point. I feel like the author is so caught up in the view of male sexuality being motivated by a desire to debase women (which would be well supported if we consider the extremes of pornography to be normal), that she fails to make a convincing argument that that underlying desire is in fact the norm. > While sexual aggression and the desire to debase women may not be what arouse all men, they are certainly an animating force of male sexuality. I think it's kind of a jump, when looking at how something plays out in the bedroom, to make statements about the motivations (e.g. enforcing male hegemony), particularly when applying it broadly to a large and varying group. Under her assumption that sexuality isn't egalitarian, and that pornography is an "unvarnished view of male sexuality" in general, she makes some good points, but I think the author fails to substantiate the validity of these assumptions. As much as the debasement of women in pornography offends me, we need to keep in mind that it's a product, and as such it doesn't necessarily provide deep insight on the consumer or the producer - both of whom are just negotiating to find something that more or less suits their needs at the moment.
- jobrahms 16y agoHow can you, or anyone else, profess to know what's normal in bedrooms?
- sev 16y agoMy point exactly. She does exactly that.
- pjscott 16y agoThat's actually a really easy question. We look at people's bedroom behavior. There's a whole scientific field on this sort of thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexology http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexology Alfred Kinsey, for example, got his fame by scientifically studying what's normal in bedrooms, and publishing this information.
- jtbigwoo 16y agoHer anecdote doesn't support her case. It seems clear that the guy was taking out his post-breakup frustrations on Ms. Vargas-Cooper. He may normally be a decent, caring person who just tried to get back in the dating pool too soon. Punishing a rebound girl/boy for the sins of the previous girl/boy is not something that either gender has a monopoly on.
- antidaily 16y agoWhat she doesn't mention is that the guy was Charlie Sheen.