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This is mind-bogglingly fallacious. Most women enjoy sex just as much as men, if not more. And plenty of them are open to and excited by casual encounters with

by sp527 7y ago

This is mind-bogglingly fallacious. Most women enjoy sex just as much as men, if not more. And plenty of them are open to and excited by casual encounters with men (certain types; honestly probably not you, based on what you’ve written). There doesn’t have to be something wrong with them for that to be the case. You’re making some really sexist assumptions premised on what appears to be an extremely Puritanical view of acceptable human behavior.

strenholme 7y ago
I’m not saying that promiscuous women always have issues, and I apologize if I hurt anyone by implying that, but I am saying that there’s just too much chance I will hurt a woman’s feelings if I had a sexual encounter with them without being open to having a relationship with them. The fact that women by and large prefer long term relationships is well known in the evolutionary psychology community. See, for example, David M. Buss The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating (ISBN 978-0465097760), which discusses this in great detail. Or, just go to https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm where we can see women have, on average, fewer sexual partners than men. The study which has been used to argue that women secretly cheat on their man, the one where women supposedly wanted to be unfaithful when they were ovulating, had a lot of methodological problems and was debunked when they tried to replicate its results. Read https://slate.com/technology/2018/10/ovulation-research-women-replication-crisis.html https://slate.com/technology/2018/10/ovulation-research-wome... for a lay summary of the actual science behind this. Another data point: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/12/science/extra-marital-paternity-less-common-than-assumed-scientists-find.html https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/12/science/extra-marital-pat... which shows cuckoldry is quite rare (and it’s amazing the number of people who don’t want to accept this science in the comments for the article). In my own personal experience, I have talked to a lot of women who have struggled with promiscuity (i.e. they do not want to be promiscuous any more). The very consistently have had poor or non-existent relationships with their fathers and have issues with alcohol and/or drug abuse. There are exceptions, of course, but the science on the matter indicates they are outliers.
- narrator 7y ago
  I told her within 30 minutes of meeting her that I was leaving in a few days and there was no possibility at all of a long term relationship. She said she hadn't gotten laid in months and stripped off her clothes as soon as we got back to the hotel, so I think she was just kind of desperate to have sex with any acceptably attractive guy. She was also over 40, if that makes any difference and the gender ratios are even more massively skewed for older women in Eastern Europe. This kind of thing will never happen in the tech heavy areas most HN readers inhabit where there are vastly more men than women.
  - strenholme 7y ago
    Well, the important thing is to be caring and empathetic about her feelings. That’s why I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with a woman unless I have a strong sense of where she is emotionally, and am sure she isn’t using sex to cover up some emotional struggle she may have. If I sense a potential sexual partner has some negative stuff going on in her life, I would rather help her feel better than have her cover up her feelings by sleeping with me. It may be worthwhile to still keep in touch with her on social media (If in a long term relationship, maybe not).

by sp527 7y ago

strenholme 7y ago

I’m not saying that promiscuous women always have issues, and I apologize if I hurt anyone by implying that, but I am saying that there’s just too much chance I will hurt a woman’s feelings if I had a sexual encounter with them without being open to having a relationship with them. The fact that women by and large prefer long term relationships is well known in the evolutionary psychology community. See, for example, David M. Buss The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating (ISBN 978-0465097760), which discusses this in great detail. Or, just go to https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm where we can see women have, on average, fewer sexual partners than men. The study which has been used to argue that women secretly cheat on their man, the one where women supposedly wanted to be unfaithful when they were ovulating, had a lot of methodological problems and was debunked when they tried to replicate its results. Read https://slate.com/technology/2018/10/ovulation-research-women-replication-crisis.html https://slate.com/technology/2018/10/ovulation-research-wome... for a lay summary of the actual science behind this. Another data point: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/12/science/extra-marital-paternity-less-common-than-assumed-scientists-find.html https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/12/science/extra-marital-pat... which shows cuckoldry is quite rare (and it’s amazing the number of people who don’t want to accept this science in the comments for the article). In my own personal experience, I have talked to a lot of women who have struggled with promiscuity (i.e. they do not want to be promiscuous any more). The very consistently have had poor or non-existent relationships with their fathers and have issues with alcohol and/or drug abuse. There are exceptions, of course, but the science on the matter indicates they are outliers.

narrator 7y ago
I told her within 30 minutes of meeting her that I was leaving in a few days and there was no possibility at all of a long term relationship. She said she hadn't gotten laid in months and stripped off her clothes as soon as we got back to the hotel, so I think she was just kind of desperate to have sex with any acceptably attractive guy. She was also over 40, if that makes any difference and the gender ratios are even more massively skewed for older women in Eastern Europe. This kind of thing will never happen in the tech heavy areas most HN readers inhabit where there are vastly more men than women.
- strenholme 7y ago
  Well, the important thing is to be caring and empathetic about her feelings. That’s why I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with a woman unless I have a strong sense of where she is emotionally, and am sure she isn’t using sex to cover up some emotional struggle she may have. If I sense a potential sexual partner has some negative stuff going on in her life, I would rather help her feel better than have her cover up her feelings by sleeping with me. It may be worthwhile to still keep in touch with her on social media (If in a long term relationship, maybe not).