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> It took about 200-300 matches, which became 40-60 active online chats, which became 12-18 in-person dates, to find the woman who became my wife. So about a 6%

> It took about 200-300 matches, which became 40-60 active online chats, which became 12-18 in-person dates, to find the woman who became my wife. So about a 6% match to date ratio. Stats like those make me not even want to try. Wow.

strenholme 7y ago
Yep, and that was in a location which favored me. Online dating is a numbers game. Here’s what made Latin American dating bearable for me: If I hit the point where we met in real life, I made sure to enjoy my time and company with the woman, even if we were not a romantic fit. I made a lot of friends who I could socialize and play cards with, so dating and meeting all these women was a lot of fun. Also, all the interaction made it a lot easier for me to read signals from women; when I met my wife, I was able to see she really wanted me and was already falling in love with me on our first date. Here in the US, women treat dating like a job interview, which I don’t enjoy as much as the “Hey, let me take you to the movies, play cards with you, and have fun socializing together as friends” mindset I had with Latin American women.
- bksenior 7y ago
  No US women dont, it's just more competitive (looks, power, wealth) so it feels that way. Girls here are like girls everywhere else, what you're likely feeling is not being as high on the mate scale as you are in other markets.
  - strenholme 7y ago
    I beg to differ. People in Latin America, in general, value conversation and connections more than people in the US; the dating scene reflects this (I saw the same dynamics with non-dating connections). A latina girl who didn’t consider me romantically compatible was more likely to still enjoy hanging out and playing cards with me (looking at my online friend list, a lot of them are women I dated in Latin America, including, yes, ones who made it clear they didn’t want to get romantic with me), while the women I dated from online in the US were more like “I’m not meeting my goal of finding a mate here, so I don’t have time to waste on just a friendship”. Yes, there were two woman from church and social circle I dated in the US who I was able to keep productive friendships with (a couple are still my online friend today), so this isn’t a hard and fast rule. But, I have more than twice as many friends online from Latin America who were girls I briefly dated compared to US friends who were girls I briefly dated.
baddox 7y ago
Finding a spouse with just 12-18 in-person dates doesn't sound too bad, but yeah, the beginning of that funnel sounds brutal.
novok 7y ago
The cost to get that many matches isn't high although, unlike offline dating. It takes a minute or two for a potential match, so if you do it casually as a 30 minute a day hobby, you'll quickly start getting more dates than you know what to deal with. With 1 date = one evening consumed, assuming you probably don't want to go on a first date every night and do something else.
- ChuckNorris89 7y ago
  > The cost to get that many matches isn't high although, unlike offline dating. It takes a minute or two for a potential match, so if you do it casually as a 30 minute a day hobby, you'll quickly start getting more dates than you know what to deal with. As an European male who has tried Tinder A LOT, it was definitely a lot more difficult for me as you make it sound. Getting matches and replies was hard, getting dates was harder and finding someone with chemistry among the dates was even more challenging. That was a lot of time and energy spent in vain for nothing. I've lost count on the number of girls that didn't show up on dates or cancelled last minute to never reply again which was an exhausting and sad experience for me. Later, after discovering game, I started approaching girls everywhere and my success skyrocketed, with almost zero extra effort other than going outside and saying Hi. Online dating heavily favors females and unless you're in the top 10% of attractive males on that app, you're in for a pretty dehumanizing experience.
sukilot 7y ago
It's a 100% app to wedding ratio. Best stats one could hope for -- not too low, not too high.

strenholme 7y ago

Yep, and that was in a location which favored me. Online dating is a numbers game. Here’s what made Latin American dating bearable for me: If I hit the point where we met in real life, I made sure to enjoy my time and company with the woman, even if we were not a romantic fit. I made a lot of friends who I could socialize and play cards with, so dating and meeting all these women was a lot of fun. Also, all the interaction made it a lot easier for me to read signals from women; when I met my wife, I was able to see she really wanted me and was already falling in love with me on our first date. Here in the US, women treat dating like a job interview, which I don’t enjoy as much as the “Hey, let me take you to the movies, play cards with you, and have fun socializing together as friends” mindset I had with Latin American women.

bksenior 7y ago
No US women dont, it's just more competitive (looks, power, wealth) so it feels that way. Girls here are like girls everywhere else, what you're likely feeling is not being as high on the mate scale as you are in other markets.
- strenholme 7y ago
  I beg to differ. People in Latin America, in general, value conversation and connections more than people in the US; the dating scene reflects this (I saw the same dynamics with non-dating connections). A latina girl who didn’t consider me romantically compatible was more likely to still enjoy hanging out and playing cards with me (looking at my online friend list, a lot of them are women I dated in Latin America, including, yes, ones who made it clear they didn’t want to get romantic with me), while the women I dated from online in the US were more like “I’m not meeting my goal of finding a mate here, so I don’t have time to waste on just a friendship”. Yes, there were two woman from church and social circle I dated in the US who I was able to keep productive friendships with (a couple are still my online friend today), so this isn’t a hard and fast rule. But, I have more than twice as many friends online from Latin America who were girls I briefly dated compared to US friends who were girls I briefly dated.

baddox 7y ago

Finding a spouse with just 12-18 in-person dates doesn't sound too bad, but yeah, the beginning of that funnel sounds brutal.

novok 7y ago

The cost to get that many matches isn't high although, unlike offline dating. It takes a minute or two for a potential match, so if you do it casually as a 30 minute a day hobby, you'll quickly start getting more dates than you know what to deal with. With 1 date = one evening consumed, assuming you probably don't want to go on a first date every night and do something else.

ChuckNorris89 7y ago
> The cost to get that many matches isn't high although, unlike offline dating. It takes a minute or two for a potential match, so if you do it casually as a 30 minute a day hobby, you'll quickly start getting more dates than you know what to deal with. As an European male who has tried Tinder A LOT, it was definitely a lot more difficult for me as you make it sound. Getting matches and replies was hard, getting dates was harder and finding someone with chemistry among the dates was even more challenging. That was a lot of time and energy spent in vain for nothing. I've lost count on the number of girls that didn't show up on dates or cancelled last minute to never reply again which was an exhausting and sad experience for me. Later, after discovering game, I started approaching girls everywhere and my success skyrocketed, with almost zero extra effort other than going outside and saying Hi. Online dating heavily favors females and unless you're in the top 10% of attractive males on that app, you're in for a pretty dehumanizing experience.

sukilot 7y ago

It's a 100% app to wedding ratio. Best stats one could hope for -- not too low, not too high.