I was doing that for about 45 days and then saw what I was doing and how I'd become one of the dead eyed beggars in the street some day if I continue that path.

I was doing that for about 45 days and then saw what I was doing and how I'd become one of the dead eyed beggars in the street some day if I continue that path. I stopped, conquered the thing I feared most (crossing the border to the next country) and spent my last money to go back home.