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> "Would you like to" implies that discussion is expected but unilateral refusal is probably not. I disagree. "Could you please" implies that. "Would you lik
by lliamander 7y ago
> "Would you like to" implies that discussion is expected but unilateral refusal is probably not.
I disagree. "Could you please" implies that. "Would you like to" is in fact a solicitation for the other parties preference, and opens the door for refusal. Politeness is important, but if the request is too passive then it can change the meaning.
- boudewijnrempt 7y agoAh, no. Took me a couple of decades to learn to parse that, but, in fact, nope, it's not a solicitation for a preference, it's a direct command. Or, at least, it's been that every time someone has used that phrase at me.
- lliamander 7y agoI honestly don't hear requests phrased to me that way very often (I can't even think of a concrete instance). Obviously, there are ways beyond the mere statement that can indicate whether it really was an open question or just a softly worded request (body language, tone, general context). I am by no means blind to such things. However, it's important to distinguish when a particular usage of language is just wrong, regardless of its popularity. There are far to many ways of putting a request politely without blurring the intent or coming off as passive-aggressive.
- lozf 7y agoI would be inclined to reply with the suggestion that they might begin to consider whether they might perhaps benefit from some assertiveness training.