> It's a common social technique among adults with authority to frame requests as a question-- "Could you please....?" or "Would you like to....?". This is gent

> It's a common social technique among adults with authority to frame requests as a question-- "Could you please....?" or "Would you like to....?". This is gentler and shows a degree of deference and courtesy from the person with authority to the other person. Does it really? While the first version is clearly a request, I would interpret the second case not as deference or courtesy but as an attempt to emphasize the power one holds over the other person. "Rather than just telling you what I want you to do, I'm just going to hint at what I want and expect you to lie about your own preferences to keep me happy." If you intend to show deference and courtesy, don't ask whether someone would like to do something unless you're genuinely interested in an honest answer. For those on the receiving side, I would suggest not answering the question at all. Consider it rhetorical. Instead, just say you will do it and ask where it fits in the current list of priorities, or else explain why you can't reasonably take on that task.