5 ms·

This is mostly an artifact, I think, of the fact that people are obsessed with the question "what do you do?" within the narrow framing of a commercial job. An

This is mostly an artifact, I think, of the fact that people are obsessed with the question "what do you do?" within the narrow framing of a commercial job. And everyone is expected to be working all the time otherwise they must be in trouble somehow, despite the fact that at least 50% of people in Western countries earn enough to not need to do that. I've had periods, I suppose you would call them 'sabbatical', in which I've mostly just mucked around. Learned a new language. Fiddled around with IoT stuff. Done some travelling. Read a lot. Just enjoy life. During that period, what am I? I'm just a guy. Historically I did software development for work. In the future I'll probably do the same. But that identity of full time employment just doesn't exist. I generally joke and say I'm retired or that I'm an open source developer or whatever else. But of course that's different coming from someone who won't be hitting government retirement ages for a few decades.

hinkley 7y ago
I've hated that question since the 1st grade when it was 'what will you do (when you grow up)' No six year old knows the answer to that question and that's a lot of pressure. Also, you're at a social event, where people are supposed to be pretending to be humans. Fuck you for making me think about work during my time off. With all sincerity. If I ask people an ice-breaker about activities, I ask them what they do for fun.
- ryandrake 7y ago
  “So what do you do” is one of those small-talky ice breaker questions that people tend to use as a polite way to figure out where to stick you on their social/class/importance totem pole. It’s usually none of the asker’s business, but they ask anyway. I sometimes respond with “exotic dancer” which (if you know what I look like) gets a laugh and allows the conversation to steer off into a different direction.
  - Konnstann 7y ago
    I ask people what they do so that I can understand how to talk to them. There's a huge difference between the jargon/diction I can use with someone else in biotech vs someone is a completely unrelated field, as well as even topics of conversation that we'd find interesting. I take a lot of pride in my work and enjoy talking about it, and I'd guess a lot of people do as well. If they don't we can always talk about something else.
    - deleted 7y ago
      [deleted]
  - bradlys 7y ago
    You can also use it to just get a general sense of what someone is. There are a lot of stats related to various professions. It gives an idea of your likely background and what not. It's a good jumping off question because choice of career can be the biggest decision someone makes and seeing how someone came to such a decision can be very insightful to the type of person they are. If I ask that question and someone says something like that (or similar avoidance stance) then I know they're very likely insecure or uncomfortable talking about their choice of work. You can read into that a lot to get various ideas but I like to use such things to put together a whole picture of a person. I, personally, like the question.
    - esotericn 7y ago
      You're making a lot of assumptions here. Perhaps the person didn't choose their work. They want to be a professional developer, but right now they're working in Starbucks. Perhaps they don't want to tell you, because they're sick of people fawning or acting strangely towards them. I've spoken to a fair few people like that - say they're a hedge fund manager or whatever, they don't want to bring that to the pub and basically wave the fact they're a decamillionaire in your face.
      - bradlys 7y ago
        > Perhaps the person didn't choose their work. They want to be a professional developer, but right now they're working in Starbucks. I had a longer answer that I trimmed down but that's one of the reasons you can guess why someone isn't saying why they do what they do. Chances you're interacting with a decamillionaire is much lower than vs someone who doesn't like to mention [insert not typically viewed as a great job here]. There are no assumptions here - just likelihoods.
      - hinkley 7y ago
        Or you're at a party? Compartmentalization is a thing, lots of people do it. Especially the people who you wonder how they do that job and stay so happy. How many people really want to talk about work when they are are having beers with old friends and some people they just met? And what happens as a software dev when you tell random people what you do? They want you to fix their computer for them. My hobbies don't have nearly this degree of problem. And on the flip side, you don't want to recruit people when talking about some of your interests (like volunteer work). But that's an easy habit to break when you know so intimately what being volun-told feels like.
- repomies691 7y ago
  I think it is very easy to answer to this question in a way that will steer the discussion away from your work, if you want. Just answer with general decription like "software developer, in a small company", whatever. Unless you are really unlucky any natural person will just lose interest. I myself ask this question now and then just because there is nothing else to talk about.
UncleOxidant 7y ago
I'm a 50-something software/hardware/embedded developer. Currently working a startup gig. But at the end of the year, that gig likely loses funding and I'll need to look for another. At this point in my career I'm pretty picky (I only choose gigs that seem interesting/fun to me) so it will likely take 6 to a year to find another (last time it took about 9 months to find a gig that was interesting). So in some sense I consider myself semi-retired. I can afford to not work for money for 18 months to 2 years before I need to start worrying about cash flow. It's been this way for about the last 6 years and likely this is how it'll be until I start drawing social security.
- esotericn 7y ago
  Sounds pretty similar to my situation, to be honest, plus a couple of decades :P I used to describe myself as 'semi-retired' and people seemed a bit baffled. I think they interpreted it as me being some sort of trust fund guy, when the reality is, other than the odd toy, I just live as if I earned about minimum wage.
CrackpotGonzo 7y ago
I recently realized that all of my life I've been trying to figure what I want to be, when I should've been focusing on who I want to be.
Aloha 7y ago
I consider retired to be a occupation, in the same way that bald is a hair color, and pizza is a sandwich.

hinkley 7y ago

I've hated that question since the 1st grade when it was 'what will you do (when you grow up)' No six year old knows the answer to that question and that's a lot of pressure. Also, you're at a social event, where people are supposed to be pretending to be humans. Fuck you for making me think about work during my time off. With all sincerity. If I ask people an ice-breaker about activities, I ask them what they do for fun.

ryandrake 7y ago
“So what do you do” is one of those small-talky ice breaker questions that people tend to use as a polite way to figure out where to stick you on their social/class/importance totem pole. It’s usually none of the asker’s business, but they ask anyway. I sometimes respond with “exotic dancer” which (if you know what I look like) gets a laugh and allows the conversation to steer off into a different direction.
- Konnstann 7y ago
  I ask people what they do so that I can understand how to talk to them. There's a huge difference between the jargon/diction I can use with someone else in biotech vs someone is a completely unrelated field, as well as even topics of conversation that we'd find interesting. I take a lot of pride in my work and enjoy talking about it, and I'd guess a lot of people do as well. If they don't we can always talk about something else.
  - deleted 7y ago
    [deleted]
- bradlys 7y ago
  You can also use it to just get a general sense of what someone is. There are a lot of stats related to various professions. It gives an idea of your likely background and what not. It's a good jumping off question because choice of career can be the biggest decision someone makes and seeing how someone came to such a decision can be very insightful to the type of person they are. If I ask that question and someone says something like that (or similar avoidance stance) then I know they're very likely insecure or uncomfortable talking about their choice of work. You can read into that a lot to get various ideas but I like to use such things to put together a whole picture of a person. I, personally, like the question.
  - esotericn 7y ago
    You're making a lot of assumptions here. Perhaps the person didn't choose their work. They want to be a professional developer, but right now they're working in Starbucks. Perhaps they don't want to tell you, because they're sick of people fawning or acting strangely towards them. I've spoken to a fair few people like that - say they're a hedge fund manager or whatever, they don't want to bring that to the pub and basically wave the fact they're a decamillionaire in your face.
    - bradlys 7y ago
      > Perhaps the person didn't choose their work. They want to be a professional developer, but right now they're working in Starbucks. I had a longer answer that I trimmed down but that's one of the reasons you can guess why someone isn't saying why they do what they do. Chances you're interacting with a decamillionaire is much lower than vs someone who doesn't like to mention [insert not typically viewed as a great job here]. There are no assumptions here - just likelihoods.
    - hinkley 7y ago
      Or you're at a party? Compartmentalization is a thing, lots of people do it. Especially the people who you wonder how they do that job and stay so happy. How many people really want to talk about work when they are are having beers with old friends and some people they just met? And what happens as a software dev when you tell random people what you do? They want you to fix their computer for them. My hobbies don't have nearly this degree of problem. And on the flip side, you don't want to recruit people when talking about some of your interests (like volunteer work). But that's an easy habit to break when you know so intimately what being volun-told feels like.
repomies691 7y ago
I think it is very easy to answer to this question in a way that will steer the discussion away from your work, if you want. Just answer with general decription like "software developer, in a small company", whatever. Unless you are really unlucky any natural person will just lose interest. I myself ask this question now and then just because there is nothing else to talk about.

UncleOxidant 7y ago

I'm a 50-something software/hardware/embedded developer. Currently working a startup gig. But at the end of the year, that gig likely loses funding and I'll need to look for another. At this point in my career I'm pretty picky (I only choose gigs that seem interesting/fun to me) so it will likely take 6 to a year to find another (last time it took about 9 months to find a gig that was interesting). So in some sense I consider myself semi-retired. I can afford to not work for money for 18 months to 2 years before I need to start worrying about cash flow. It's been this way for about the last 6 years and likely this is how it'll be until I start drawing social security.

esotericn 7y ago
Sounds pretty similar to my situation, to be honest, plus a couple of decades :P I used to describe myself as 'semi-retired' and people seemed a bit baffled. I think they interpreted it as me being some sort of trust fund guy, when the reality is, other than the odd toy, I just live as if I earned about minimum wage.

CrackpotGonzo 7y ago

I recently realized that all of my life I've been trying to figure what I want to be, when I should've been focusing on who I want to be.

Aloha 7y ago

I consider retired to be a occupation, in the same way that bald is a hair color, and pizza is a sandwich.