There's also a cultural problem with US having this superficial politeness that is expected in communication, where orders are given in the form of "would you p

There's also a cultural problem with US having this superficial politeness that is expected in communication, where orders are given in the form of "would you please", but are still expected to be followed without a word. I'm not autistic (well AFAIK), so if a manager asks me if I'd take a task and I'm super busy, I'd probably (try to) refuse it too, but I'd do it in a polite, beat around the bush manner, and manager would recognize the situation, and (again super politely) try to push back and we'd come to some agreement. No one would freak out. Problem with Asperger is that they're not very good in this back and forth social dance. In other countries, say in Eastern/South Europe culture of communication is different and manager would simply tell that guy to do the task, with no "would you please", no smiling, just a simple "do that". Not because of being rude, but because there's simply less social rituals in the communication. My (anecdotal) impression is that this "less-polite" environment, while it freaks out many Americans ("people are so direct and rude here!"), is much more friendlier to people with Asperger. I've worked with a few and they were doing just fine, super intelligent, super focused, great fit for IT companies. You just can't expect them to read your mind.