6 ms·

I guess it's all in the signaling. A guy who's nice to animals may be perceived as being nice in general. Owning a dog makes for a good neutral conversation sta

by dwd 7y ago

I guess it's all in the signaling. A guy who's nice to animals may be perceived as being nice in general. Owning a dog makes for a good neutral conversation starter. There is a link between cruelty to animals and violence against women, murder, etc. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/long_reads/domestic-violence-animal-cruelty-abuse-neglect-murder-children-dogs-a9018071.html https://www.independent.co.uk/news/long_reads/domestic-viole... Owning a cat however isn't the same, and could have a negative effect.

mirimir 7y ago
> Owning a cat however isn't the same, and could have a negative effect. Huh? All of my ~longtime girlfriends and wives have been cat people. Two out of three wives, at one point in their lives, had more than five cats. The first, when I met her, had over 20 cats. Counting kittens and loosely attached males. So why not cats?
- ojbyrne 7y ago
  Dogs make you go outside on a regular basis. So there’s that.
- valarauko 7y ago
  I think the link is between men owning cats, not women owning cats.
  - mirimir 7y ago
    OK, but why would it be different for women?
    - valarauko 7y ago
      No idea. Perhaps men are indifferent to the pets women have, while women do care? As the initial poster was stating, men who have dogs seem to fare better at attracting women, while men who have cats seem to fare worse. There was nothing about women's success at attracting men, and the effect different animals have on it.
      - mirimir 7y ago
        > As the initial poster was stating, men who have dogs seem to fare better at attracting women, while men who have cats seem to fare worse. What's your evidence for that? There's nothing in the Independent article about it.
        valarauko 7y ago
        I'm not claiming any evidence, just restating what the earlier commentator had said.
    - nanomonkey 7y ago
      Toxoplasmosis (which is due to a parasitic protozoan that is passed on by cats) effects men and women's personalities differently. It may be due to this effect that there would be a sociological difference.
      - mirimir 7y ago
        Interesting. But that would require that women, collectively, be aware of the difference. And that seems unlikely. If this is a thing, I guess that "likes Lassie" is as good an explanation as any.
- dwd 7y ago
  As a guy... Different rules for girls, though single and more than a handful of cats and people start whispering Crazy Cat Lady. Most people I know would identify as dog people and the stats for Australian households with one but not the other are 2:1 in favour of dogs. Disclaimer: I currently have two dogs, one cat
  - mirimir 7y ago
    I rather like "crazy cat ladies". Obviously, I guess. But why would women not like guys who like cats? I have a theory. I like cats more than dogs because cats are independent and self-possessed. Whereas dogs are pack animals, seem to always be testing dominance order, and demand lots of maintenance. So I can see how women who are looking for fathers would prefer dog people. Whereas women looking for friends would prefer cat people.
    - magduf 7y ago
      >So I can see how women who are looking for fathers would prefer dog people. Unless you mean they have daddy issues and are looking for a partner that's just like their dad, no. In my experience of dating in a big city, every 30+ white American woman who has no kids, and doesn't even want kids, still goes on and on in her dating profile about how "obsessed" with dogs she is. These women only want men with dogs. It's not because they're looking for someone to be a father to her kids, it's just because that's the fad she's jumped on and decided to center her whole life around, and any man who isn't into that same fad isn't going to interest her. It's just like women who are all into veganism, or social justice, or Trumpism, or some particular religon, or keto/paleo diets, or whatever. Americans these days all have to have some cause to rally around, and they don't want to date someone who isn't into that same cause, or can't be easily converted to adopt their cause.
phaus 7y ago
This makes no sense because as someone that has always had cats you have to put up with a lot of bullshit from cats and they don't even care if you continue to exist. Caring for cute, furry little sociopaths with razor sharp claws should be the gold standard of signalling patience and niceness.
- nier 7y ago
  Happiness in slavery. :) Not every potential partner might be into that or the faking of good leadership qualities that owning a dog enables.
- magduf 7y ago
  It's all about American culture, because this just isn't the case for women from other parts of the world at all. In America, being an extremely LOUD, boorish, extroverted person is esteemed, and that's who white American women want to date and marry (regardless of whether they want kids or not, as many of them these days don't). Men with dogs fit into this stereotype well, whereas men with cats don't, they're stereotyped as "nerds" and introverts, and white American women have no interest in dating them. Again, note that this is entirely cultural (subcultural?), and not universal, even within America. Immigrant women are usually not like this at all (which is part of why I only date non-American women these days), and also black American women aren't real keen on pets either.
  - theworld572 7y ago
    Its funny to see how liberal Americans (I'm might be wrong but I assume you would call yourself that?) seem to have adopted a kind of reverse-patriotism where everything non-american is always better and foreign countries are looked upon with rose-tinted views. I am from central Europe, but have travelled in America and have family over there too, I can tell you that women being attracted to loud, boorish, extroverts its not at all specific to white Americans. This is pretty much a universal human trait. Its also interesting that you say that immigrants in America are not like that at all? Because in my experience, at least in the black and hispanic communities - they have far more of a macho culture than most white Americans do.
pluma 7y ago
> Owning a cat however isn't the same, and could have a negative effect. Is this about the American attitude that dogs are always boys and cats are always girls, i.e. having a cat is "less manly"? The only two things I can think of are that dogs naturally lend themselves to meeting people because they need to be walked, act as a conversation starter and may even approach strangers themselves; and that dogs are (apparently especially in the US) more socially accepted than cats, so the chances of someone being a dog person (or familiar with dogs) being higher than for cats.
- dwd 7y ago
  I think it's a perception of cats from people who have never owned one and only grew up with a dog, and were brought up to not like cats. These kinds of dog people tend to associate with the traits in their dogs they like or wish about themselves. I think they then associate cat owners with cat traits (particularly negative ones).
- kwhitefoot 7y ago
  > the American attitude that dogs are always boys and cats are always girls Really? How odd.
  - mrkstu 7y ago
    Yep- all the dogs my wife and I have owned have been female- yet, nearly universally, everyone has presupposed them to be male. Our one cat, on the other hand, though male, was presupposed to be female. It's definitely a thing.
    - magduf 7y ago
      https://www2.b3ta.com/hecatorshecat/# https://www2.b3ta.com/hecatorshecat/#
    - dwd 7y ago
      Weird. Personally, I would choose a female dog and male cat every time. Less dominant and more bidable dog and a less skitish cat who's more likely to not take crap from the dog at meal time.
sgt101 7y ago
as in https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/11/cat-person https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/11/cat-person

by dwd 7y ago

mirimir 7y ago

> Owning a cat however isn't the same, and could have a negative effect. Huh? All of my ~longtime girlfriends and wives have been cat people. Two out of three wives, at one point in their lives, had more than five cats. The first, when I met her, had over 20 cats. Counting kittens and loosely attached males. So why not cats?

ojbyrne 7y ago
Dogs make you go outside on a regular basis. So there’s that.
valarauko 7y ago
I think the link is between men owning cats, not women owning cats.
- mirimir 7y ago
  OK, but why would it be different for women?
  - valarauko 7y ago
    No idea. Perhaps men are indifferent to the pets women have, while women do care? As the initial poster was stating, men who have dogs seem to fare better at attracting women, while men who have cats seem to fare worse. There was nothing about women's success at attracting men, and the effect different animals have on it.
    - mirimir 7y ago
      > As the initial poster was stating, men who have dogs seem to fare better at attracting women, while men who have cats seem to fare worse. What's your evidence for that? There's nothing in the Independent article about it.
      - valarauko 7y ago
        I'm not claiming any evidence, just restating what the earlier commentator had said.
  - nanomonkey 7y ago
    Toxoplasmosis (which is due to a parasitic protozoan that is passed on by cats) effects men and women's personalities differently. It may be due to this effect that there would be a sociological difference.
    - mirimir 7y ago
      Interesting. But that would require that women, collectively, be aware of the difference. And that seems unlikely. If this is a thing, I guess that "likes Lassie" is as good an explanation as any.
dwd 7y ago
As a guy... Different rules for girls, though single and more than a handful of cats and people start whispering Crazy Cat Lady. Most people I know would identify as dog people and the stats for Australian households with one but not the other are 2:1 in favour of dogs. Disclaimer: I currently have two dogs, one cat
- mirimir 7y ago
  I rather like "crazy cat ladies". Obviously, I guess. But why would women not like guys who like cats? I have a theory. I like cats more than dogs because cats are independent and self-possessed. Whereas dogs are pack animals, seem to always be testing dominance order, and demand lots of maintenance. So I can see how women who are looking for fathers would prefer dog people. Whereas women looking for friends would prefer cat people.
  - magduf 7y ago
    >So I can see how women who are looking for fathers would prefer dog people. Unless you mean they have daddy issues and are looking for a partner that's just like their dad, no. In my experience of dating in a big city, every 30+ white American woman who has no kids, and doesn't even want kids, still goes on and on in her dating profile about how "obsessed" with dogs she is. These women only want men with dogs. It's not because they're looking for someone to be a father to her kids, it's just because that's the fad she's jumped on and decided to center her whole life around, and any man who isn't into that same fad isn't going to interest her. It's just like women who are all into veganism, or social justice, or Trumpism, or some particular religon, or keto/paleo diets, or whatever. Americans these days all have to have some cause to rally around, and they don't want to date someone who isn't into that same cause, or can't be easily converted to adopt their cause.

phaus 7y ago

This makes no sense because as someone that has always had cats you have to put up with a lot of bullshit from cats and they don't even care if you continue to exist. Caring for cute, furry little sociopaths with razor sharp claws should be the gold standard of signalling patience and niceness.

nier 7y ago
Happiness in slavery. :) Not every potential partner might be into that or the faking of good leadership qualities that owning a dog enables.
magduf 7y ago
It's all about American culture, because this just isn't the case for women from other parts of the world at all. In America, being an extremely LOUD, boorish, extroverted person is esteemed, and that's who white American women want to date and marry (regardless of whether they want kids or not, as many of them these days don't). Men with dogs fit into this stereotype well, whereas men with cats don't, they're stereotyped as "nerds" and introverts, and white American women have no interest in dating them. Again, note that this is entirely cultural (subcultural?), and not universal, even within America. Immigrant women are usually not like this at all (which is part of why I only date non-American women these days), and also black American women aren't real keen on pets either.
- theworld572 7y ago
  Its funny to see how liberal Americans (I'm might be wrong but I assume you would call yourself that?) seem to have adopted a kind of reverse-patriotism where everything non-american is always better and foreign countries are looked upon with rose-tinted views. I am from central Europe, but have travelled in America and have family over there too, I can tell you that women being attracted to loud, boorish, extroverts its not at all specific to white Americans. This is pretty much a universal human trait. Its also interesting that you say that immigrants in America are not like that at all? Because in my experience, at least in the black and hispanic communities - they have far more of a macho culture than most white Americans do.

pluma 7y ago

> Owning a cat however isn't the same, and could have a negative effect. Is this about the American attitude that dogs are always boys and cats are always girls, i.e. having a cat is "less manly"? The only two things I can think of are that dogs naturally lend themselves to meeting people because they need to be walked, act as a conversation starter and may even approach strangers themselves; and that dogs are (apparently especially in the US) more socially accepted than cats, so the chances of someone being a dog person (or familiar with dogs) being higher than for cats.

dwd 7y ago
I think it's a perception of cats from people who have never owned one and only grew up with a dog, and were brought up to not like cats. These kinds of dog people tend to associate with the traits in their dogs they like or wish about themselves. I think they then associate cat owners with cat traits (particularly negative ones).
kwhitefoot 7y ago
> the American attitude that dogs are always boys and cats are always girls Really? How odd.
- mrkstu 7y ago
  Yep- all the dogs my wife and I have owned have been female- yet, nearly universally, everyone has presupposed them to be male. Our one cat, on the other hand, though male, was presupposed to be female. It's definitely a thing.
  - magduf 7y ago
    https://www2.b3ta.com/hecatorshecat/# https://www2.b3ta.com/hecatorshecat/#
  - dwd 7y ago
    Weird. Personally, I would choose a female dog and male cat every time. Less dominant and more bidable dog and a less skitish cat who's more likely to not take crap from the dog at meal time.

sgt101 7y ago

as in https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/11/cat-person https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/11/cat-person