4 ms·

My company held an optional meeting / fireside chat to discuss being LGBT in the workplace, as part of the office's Pride celebration. Compared to my old compan

My company held an optional meeting / fireside chat to discuss being LGBT in the workplace, as part of the office's Pride celebration. Compared to my old company --which never even acknowledged Pride occurred-- it was kind of nice to have an hour to reflect on that. Otherwise, personal topics like this never come up. I think it's okay if it's a group of people who choose to opt-in for a discussion for 1 hour once a year. Then you're not "forcing" coworkers who don't want to be there to listen, or worry about sewing mistrust, as you have mentioned, which is a valid concern. You don't want people worried about preemptively stepping on your toes to the point where it could impact you professionally.

magduf 7y ago
>I think it's okay if it's a group of people who choose to opt-in for a discussion for 1 hour once a year. Then you're not "forcing" coworkers who don't want to be there to listen, or worry about sewing mistrust, as you have mentioned, which is a valid concern. Yeah, but what happens when someone never shows up for things like this? Do people start getting suspicious that they're anti-LGBT? That's my worry whenever a workplace starts trying to bring non-work-related stuff into the workplace like this. I have a hard enough time with companies that want to have "team lunches" or dinners. Even though they're really optional (or "optional"), if you never show up for them, it makes you look like you're "not part of the team". It's inevitable with any workplace social activities: if you're the one guy who never attends, it makes you stand out. What if your company/team likes to go to happy hours regularly, and you don't drink and hate bars? Again, it makes you look like a black sheep. Honestly, I'd prefer it if employers stopped trying to act like my family and just stuck to getting work done, and letting me go home ASAP so I can do things I prefer and eat food I prefer. (With those team meals, they always pick restaurants I hate.)
- JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
  > Yeah, but what happens when someone never shows up for things like this? Do people start getting suspicious that they're anti-LGBT? There was no expectation for everyone to show up. The meeting space wouldn't even have facilitated it. It would be unreasonable for there to have been an expectation for that reason alone. Nobody's going to think your anti-LGBT unless you make comments at work disparaging LGBT people. You don't have to be proactively pro-LGBT in the workplace to be not "against it".
  - dudul 7y ago
    Isn't it exactly what the author of the memo is saying though? People at his work had nothing to say about police brutality against black people, so of course they were racist and supporting it.
    - JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
      Nobody talks about the Stonewall riots at work, or how gays couldn't marry nationwide until years ago, but I don't assume they're anti-LGBT for failure to discuss these things.
      - dudul 7y ago
        Did I talk about YOU? I'm talking about the author of the memo to give you a readily available example of a person who understands "not talking about <issue A>" as "passionately siding with <opposite side of issue A>". YOU are great apparently, but maybe other people did think that the persons not attending these LGBT sessions were indeed anti-LGBT. Just like the author of this memo.
        JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
        The author thinks coworkers are bigoted for this reason: > Over the last 5 years I’ve heard co-workers spew hateful words about immigrants, boast unabashedly about gentrifying neighborhoods, mockingly imitate people who speak different languages, reject candidates of color without evidence because of ‘fit.’ Not for lack of attending some discussion sessions.
        magduf 7y ago
        To be fair, I never accused the author of this (in fact, I'm one of those lazy people who frequently doesn't even read the article before jumping in and commenting). Instead, I was merely raising the question about how people who don't attend such activities are viewed at their workplace and if it might negatively affect their standing at work, because I've seen this with other activities.
      - 7y ago
- dudul 7y ago
  One of my previous companies had "kids day" during which employees could bring their kids, there were random activities set up for them (craft, coloring books, etc) and everybody could volunteer to hang out with them. I never attended, and after maybe half a dozen of sessions during which I kept doing, you know, work, my coworkers started assuming and asking me if I hated kids... And I have 2!
  - magduf 7y ago
    Wow, that's weird. How did they treat people who didn't have kids? Were they seen as kid-haters too if they didn't volunteer?
- RichardCA 7y ago
  Nothing new under the Sun. The viewpoint that any effort to be sociable with co-workers is a pretense is 100% valid and deserves to be respected.
Zenbit_UX 7y ago
Honestly this sounds horrible to me, work is a place for work. I don't care if you're gay, straight or otherwise, keep your personal lives personal. Forcing employees to have a pow-wow about their feelings on ANY issue would have me updating my CV ASAP.
- detaro 7y ago
  How does an optional event force you to pow-wow about your feelings?
  - your-nanny 7y ago
    peer pressure, perceptions of how others will view yourno participation etc.

magduf 7y ago

>I think it's okay if it's a group of people who choose to opt-in for a discussion for 1 hour once a year. Then you're not "forcing" coworkers who don't want to be there to listen, or worry about sewing mistrust, as you have mentioned, which is a valid concern. Yeah, but what happens when someone never shows up for things like this? Do people start getting suspicious that they're anti-LGBT? That's my worry whenever a workplace starts trying to bring non-work-related stuff into the workplace like this. I have a hard enough time with companies that want to have "team lunches" or dinners. Even though they're really optional (or "optional"), if you never show up for them, it makes you look like you're "not part of the team". It's inevitable with any workplace social activities: if you're the one guy who never attends, it makes you stand out. What if your company/team likes to go to happy hours regularly, and you don't drink and hate bars? Again, it makes you look like a black sheep. Honestly, I'd prefer it if employers stopped trying to act like my family and just stuck to getting work done, and letting me go home ASAP so I can do things I prefer and eat food I prefer. (With those team meals, they always pick restaurants I hate.)

JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
> Yeah, but what happens when someone never shows up for things like this? Do people start getting suspicious that they're anti-LGBT? There was no expectation for everyone to show up. The meeting space wouldn't even have facilitated it. It would be unreasonable for there to have been an expectation for that reason alone. Nobody's going to think your anti-LGBT unless you make comments at work disparaging LGBT people. You don't have to be proactively pro-LGBT in the workplace to be not "against it".
- dudul 7y ago
  Isn't it exactly what the author of the memo is saying though? People at his work had nothing to say about police brutality against black people, so of course they were racist and supporting it.
  - JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
    Nobody talks about the Stonewall riots at work, or how gays couldn't marry nationwide until years ago, but I don't assume they're anti-LGBT for failure to discuss these things.
    - dudul 7y ago
      Did I talk about YOU? I'm talking about the author of the memo to give you a readily available example of a person who understands "not talking about <issue A>" as "passionately siding with <opposite side of issue A>". YOU are great apparently, but maybe other people did think that the persons not attending these LGBT sessions were indeed anti-LGBT. Just like the author of this memo.
      - JMTQp8lwXL 7y ago
        The author thinks coworkers are bigoted for this reason: > Over the last 5 years I’ve heard co-workers spew hateful words about immigrants, boast unabashedly about gentrifying neighborhoods, mockingly imitate people who speak different languages, reject candidates of color without evidence because of ‘fit.’ Not for lack of attending some discussion sessions.
      - magduf 7y ago
        To be fair, I never accused the author of this (in fact, I'm one of those lazy people who frequently doesn't even read the article before jumping in and commenting). Instead, I was merely raising the question about how people who don't attend such activities are viewed at their workplace and if it might negatively affect their standing at work, because I've seen this with other activities.
    - 7y ago
dudul 7y ago
One of my previous companies had "kids day" during which employees could bring their kids, there were random activities set up for them (craft, coloring books, etc) and everybody could volunteer to hang out with them. I never attended, and after maybe half a dozen of sessions during which I kept doing, you know, work, my coworkers started assuming and asking me if I hated kids... And I have 2!
- magduf 7y ago
  Wow, that's weird. How did they treat people who didn't have kids? Were they seen as kid-haters too if they didn't volunteer?
RichardCA 7y ago
Nothing new under the Sun. The viewpoint that any effort to be sociable with co-workers is a pretense is 100% valid and deserves to be respected.

Zenbit_UX 7y ago

Honestly this sounds horrible to me, work is a place for work. I don't care if you're gay, straight or otherwise, keep your personal lives personal. Forcing employees to have a pow-wow about their feelings on ANY issue would have me updating my CV ASAP.

detaro 7y ago
How does an optional event force you to pow-wow about your feelings?
- your-nanny 7y ago
  peer pressure, perceptions of how others will view yourno participation etc.