4 ms·

As my grandmother's Parkinson's progressed, she had to give up knitting. Then she gave up all the crafts that she had spent her days on. As things got worse, sh

by c3534l 7y ago

As my grandmother's Parkinson's progressed, she had to give up knitting. Then she gave up all the crafts that she had spent her days on. As things got worse, she could no longer go for walks or visit the neighbors. She stopped cooking, too, another thing she loved. Then she couldn't hold a book still enough to read it, and the contraptions we'd set up for her also stopped working since eventually she lost the coordination to turn a page in a book. We got her an iPad and she could vaguely swipe so she could read. Eventually she needed help even with her iPad. My point is that the elderly aren't necessarily hypocrites. They have a very different lifestyle than you do. The challenges they face are different, what they're capable of is different. My father is perfectly able-bodied, but you can only golf so many times a week and I think he's gotten sucked into the news and his screen. He just doesn't have anything else meaningful to do with his time.

scarecrowbob 7y ago
I've had different experiences with my 70+ year old friends. That experience is, of course, self selected for folks who have stuff that they will do with younger folks like me... mostly playing music. But I believe that folks that age are capable of a whole damn lot, assuming that they didn't do a shit-ton of coke or something in their 30s. My dad is pretty far into Parkinsons, and I think that the disease has more to do with why he doesn't do stuff than anything. It's not that he's not "capable" of stuff... it's that he doesn't want to. That is a fine distinction, I know, and I can see how folks don't think it is even a real distinction. My mom describes the issue with Parkinsons as "I've fallen and I don't want to get up". I wouldn't bother typing that all out, except that I feel like there is a point worth mentioning to people who don't have a lot of older friends: there's nothing necessary about stopping doing a lot of what we do as we get older. Eventually, we all get pain and/or a loss of senses, but it's not (I believe) as completely show-stopping. We don't have to give up on living. I went rock climbing with a 68-year-old last month, and though the climb wasn't super hard, it was certainly a run for my money... it was 5.6R grade IV, and she led the 45M run out pitch, and the 6km of hiking on the return didn't seem to phase her. Her feeling was that a lot of folks just stop trying around age 60. Their goals become "let's take the RV to AK some time this year" instead of "I'm going to write the best novel that I have written this year" (that was one of her goals). She is exceptional, I think. Still, my point is: if you can golf, you can do a lot more than do FB when you're not golfing. And I hope there are folks who remind me of that as I approach those ages.
- exolymph 7y ago
  > That experience is, of course, self selected for folks who have stuff that they will do with younger folks like me... mostly playing music. But I believe that folks that age are capable of a whole damn lot, assuming that they didn't do a shit-ton of coke or something in their 30s. I don't understand why you disregard selection bias as insignificant. That factor deserves more than an offhand, brushed-off aside. The reality is, the old people who you regularly interact with are XYZ. We can't conclude anything about old people in general based on your personal experiences.
  - ridgeguy 7y ago
    For me, his data that the old people he interacts with are XYZ are both comforting and a motivational existence proof.
    - gambiting 7y ago
      Sure, but it really does depend on who you interact with. My aunt runs a care home, and I had this discussion with her once - she said something like "oh I dread getting old, you can't do anything anymore, your memory goes, you can't go to the toilet by yourself, you can't dress yourself, moving anywhere can kill you....being old is horrible!", to which I replied that you know, you probably feel that way because 100% of old people you interact with on the daily basis are like this. Those who are well just don't go into care homes when they are old, so you never see them, but they are definitely out there.
  - scarecrowbob 7y ago
    "The reality is, the old people who you regularly interact with are XYZ. We can't conclude anything about old people in general based on your personal experiences. " True. Hence why I state that there is a bias to begin with. The point of my comment is that other people are possibly engaged the same process but without realizing their bias, and thereby making an unwarranted conclusion about all older folks in general.
  - traderjane 7y ago
diminoten 7y ago
Purpose is so easily given by a computing device in a way the "greatest generation" might have missed, but boomers are possibly starting to figuring it out. I am fascinated to find out how much it actually matters to longevity, because when millennial get into nursing homes, we're not likely to have any problem continuing to find purpose in the most arbitrary of things. Today there are puzzle corners, eventually there are going to be WoW corners, VR corners.

by c3534l 7y ago

scarecrowbob 7y ago

I've had different experiences with my 70+ year old friends. That experience is, of course, self selected for folks who have stuff that they will do with younger folks like me... mostly playing music. But I believe that folks that age are capable of a whole damn lot, assuming that they didn't do a shit-ton of coke or something in their 30s. My dad is pretty far into Parkinsons, and I think that the disease has more to do with why he doesn't do stuff than anything. It's not that he's not "capable" of stuff... it's that he doesn't want to. That is a fine distinction, I know, and I can see how folks don't think it is even a real distinction. My mom describes the issue with Parkinsons as "I've fallen and I don't want to get up". I wouldn't bother typing that all out, except that I feel like there is a point worth mentioning to people who don't have a lot of older friends: there's nothing necessary about stopping doing a lot of what we do as we get older. Eventually, we all get pain and/or a loss of senses, but it's not (I believe) as completely show-stopping. We don't have to give up on living. I went rock climbing with a 68-year-old last month, and though the climb wasn't super hard, it was certainly a run for my money... it was 5.6R grade IV, and she led the 45M run out pitch, and the 6km of hiking on the return didn't seem to phase her. Her feeling was that a lot of folks just stop trying around age 60. Their goals become "let's take the RV to AK some time this year" instead of "I'm going to write the best novel that I have written this year" (that was one of her goals). She is exceptional, I think. Still, my point is: if you can golf, you can do a lot more than do FB when you're not golfing. And I hope there are folks who remind me of that as I approach those ages.

exolymph 7y ago
> That experience is, of course, self selected for folks who have stuff that they will do with younger folks like me... mostly playing music. But I believe that folks that age are capable of a whole damn lot, assuming that they didn't do a shit-ton of coke or something in their 30s. I don't understand why you disregard selection bias as insignificant. That factor deserves more than an offhand, brushed-off aside. The reality is, the old people who you regularly interact with are XYZ. We can't conclude anything about old people in general based on your personal experiences.
- ridgeguy 7y ago
  For me, his data that the old people he interacts with are XYZ are both comforting and a motivational existence proof.
  - gambiting 7y ago
    Sure, but it really does depend on who you interact with. My aunt runs a care home, and I had this discussion with her once - she said something like "oh I dread getting old, you can't do anything anymore, your memory goes, you can't go to the toilet by yourself, you can't dress yourself, moving anywhere can kill you....being old is horrible!", to which I replied that you know, you probably feel that way because 100% of old people you interact with on the daily basis are like this. Those who are well just don't go into care homes when they are old, so you never see them, but they are definitely out there.
- scarecrowbob 7y ago
  "The reality is, the old people who you regularly interact with are XYZ. We can't conclude anything about old people in general based on your personal experiences. " True. Hence why I state that there is a bias to begin with. The point of my comment is that other people are possibly engaged the same process but without realizing their bias, and thereby making an unwarranted conclusion about all older folks in general.
- traderjane 7y ago

diminoten 7y ago

Purpose is so easily given by a computing device in a way the "greatest generation" might have missed, but boomers are possibly starting to figuring it out. I am fascinated to find out how much it actually matters to longevity, because when millennial get into nursing homes, we're not likely to have any problem continuing to find purpose in the most arbitrary of things. Today there are puzzle corners, eventually there are going to be WoW corners, VR corners.