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There's sometimes a status/power component associated with feedback. I used to work with someone who tended to make a variety of subtle power plays -- dominatin
by msluyter 7y ago
There's sometimes a status/power component associated with feedback. I used to work with someone who tended to make a variety of subtle power plays -- dominating or "guiding" discussions when not the designated leader of the meeting, for example. I noticed that he often gave unsolicited advice, and although it was typically prefaced nicely with "would you mind if I offered some feedback?" I think it tended to also serve as a sort of power/status display. I.e., "I'm an authority on this subject, and in some way superior or more knowledgable than you."
And I had/have quite mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I felt that this person was generally trying to be helpful and improve the situation around them. And feedback/advice can certainly serve that end. Who doesn't want to know how to improve their overall performance, right?
But on the other, to the extent that the power dynamic above was actually in play, unsolicited feedback of this sort only rubbed people the wrong way. Perhaps I was reading too much into it, but thinking back to certain times in my past where I've been the advice giver, I do think there are occasions where my motivations were suspect, where, at the time I thought I was genuinely trying to help someone, but which in retrospect were mostly superiority displays.
I don't have any concrete conclusions to draw from this; just something the article stirred up. I welcome your feedback. ;)
- rogerkirkness 7y agoIf you have power, the goal is to reduce power distance so you can function in the relationship with less power. The best people never do this.
- supercanuck 7y agoSometimes the difference is doing it publicly versus privately. Hey, I noticed in the meeting, you did this, have you thought about trying this? As someone in consulting for a long period of time, i find people think I'm more genuine if I provide it privately, that way it doesn't come across as a power play.