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I think that there is for sure an aspect of underdeveloped skills. That could come from lack of interest, background/culture/environment, or any other number of

I think that there is for sure an aspect of underdeveloped skills. That could come from lack of interest, background/culture/environment, or any other number of reasons sure. But I think a bigger aspect is how psychologists often phrase it (sure it is wishy washy) but where do you get your energy. Some people are going to be more comfortable with people around and others feel more relaxed alone. That can and most likely will change over any individuals life but it is important to recognize what environments to go to when you need a recharge. And yes, people love to self-diagnose and take surface level quizzes, but this also does seem to be a real phenomenon different personalities have and understanding your own and others personalities will improve everyone's social interactions. So I agree, we should all work on being with ourselves as well as how to interact with others. But we also need to know, when feeling stressed, if we should retreat to a quiet room or a crowed get together. And just a last point is that it seems like this silent book club is doing what you suggest, it is an introvert going to a place they feel more comfortable which will in time develop their social skills.

JustSomeNobody 7y ago
I simplify it as such, because it makes sense to me: Other people's energy flows into an extrovert. While an introverts energy flows into other people. If I spend even a few moments with an extrovert, I feel so drained.
logfromblammo 7y ago
Developing a skill should have a payoff. When someone does not perceive as great a reward in social interactions, the motivation to develop their social skills is less. If social skills were on a tech tree, introverts would put points into the "polite disengagement" branch first, while extroverts are still putting their early points into "bonus friend slot" and "multiple-participant schedule coordination" and such. Some people might just recruit an extrovert for their sole friend slot, drop a single point on "Irish Exit", let the friend set up all the social events, and just vanish whenever they're done. That's a perfectly reasonable social skills build, up until the extrovert reaches their friend cap and drops the introvert into the acquaintance pool, to free up a slot for someone with better synergy bonuses. And this is the sort of thinking that tends to drive off people who don't view (or don't want to view) the universe as a simulation that could be hackable with a better understanding of the data structures, and who don't want to have nerdy, speculative-fiction conversations about whether "deflect blame for loud fart" is a skill or a perk.

JustSomeNobody 7y ago

I simplify it as such, because it makes sense to me: Other people's energy flows into an extrovert. While an introverts energy flows into other people. If I spend even a few moments with an extrovert, I feel so drained.

logfromblammo 7y ago

Developing a skill should have a payoff. When someone does not perceive as great a reward in social interactions, the motivation to develop their social skills is less. If social skills were on a tech tree, introverts would put points into the "polite disengagement" branch first, while extroverts are still putting their early points into "bonus friend slot" and "multiple-participant schedule coordination" and such. Some people might just recruit an extrovert for their sole friend slot, drop a single point on "Irish Exit", let the friend set up all the social events, and just vanish whenever they're done. That's a perfectly reasonable social skills build, up until the extrovert reaches their friend cap and drops the introvert into the acquaintance pool, to free up a slot for someone with better synergy bonuses. And this is the sort of thinking that tends to drive off people who don't view (or don't want to view) the universe as a simulation that could be hackable with a better understanding of the data structures, and who don't want to have nerdy, speculative-fiction conversations about whether "deflect blame for loud fart" is a skill or a perk.