5 ms·

People often equate introvert to mean "doesn't prefer to be around people" and extroverts to mean "loves to be around people", but that's essentially a myth. T

People often equate introvert to mean "doesn't prefer to be around people" and extroverts to mean "loves to be around people", but that's essentially a myth. The best layman explanation I have heard is that extroverts are "recharged" by being around others whereas introverts recharge by being alone. For example, I really like being around people, but the idea of not having time to myself to recharge can be exhausting.

iraldir 7y ago
yep, that's correct. Me and my fiancée are both text-books introverts, but I'm not shy at all, have no fear of public speaking etc. while she is the opposite. But for both of us, even having a drink after work with people is super exhausting and we just want to go home and relax, while an extrovert would be depressed staying alone and needs to recharge by having fun with people.
limteary 7y ago
I must be the opposite. After and during socializing I often feel manic but I terribly shy initially and spend all my time alone. Drat.
- tonyarkles 7y ago
  Some good news though! Shyness, social anxiety, etc, can be overcome with effort, if desired. I've definitely witnessed a number of people "coming out of their shell" so to speak over the years.
- non-entity 7y ago
  Same here. I was invited to a party late last year and it was the first time really getting out in a long time. It was enjoyable, but I didn't do much socializing till the end. Haven't had an opportunity to get out since tho
nicoburns 7y ago
> The best layman explanation I have heard is that extroverts are "recharged" by being around others whereas introverts recharge by being alone That's a good step 1. Step 2 is realising that introverts often do get energised by one-on-one or small group socialising, or socialising in a more meaningful way around a real shared interest. Step 3 is realising that the concept of introversion/extraversion generalises past social interaction to preferences for levels of external interaction / stimulation in general. So for example, some people may not be super-sociable, but may love lot's of external physical stimulation (music/lights/exercise, etc), others may love to be exposed external ideas (or alternatively have a preference to only be exposed to small amounts of these things). ^ This is the notion of introversion/extroversion captured by the MBTI / Jungian Type Theories, where Extraverted Feeling (Fe) roughly function corresponds to the popular notion of extraversion, but there are also Extraverted Sensing (Se), Extraverted Intuition (Ne) and Extraverted Thinking (Te) functions which present differently.
- lonelappde 7y ago
  Saying that talking about a book is meaningful but talking to a person about their life, is not is immature inferiority-complex bigotry.
  - celticmusic 7y ago
    I would much rather have a conversation about Liu Cixin's dark forest idea than to learn about someone's snotty kid. I guess color me immature with an inferiority-complex bigotry.
    - csilverman 7y ago
      I agree. I can enjoy both, but I get a particular energy out of discussing ideas. Small talk about one's life or vacation is less interesting/energizing to me. And that's okay. I'm not sure why this had to involve a sermon on immaturity and—of all things—bigotry.
      - celticmusic 7y ago
        If you haven't done it, check out wandering earth on netflix, it's based off of a short story by him. I didn't know that going in and about halfway through I remember thinking China must have a lot of amazing Chinese sci-fi writers because the ideas in the movie reminded me of the vastness of Liu Cixin. Then afterwards I look up more info and find out it's based off of a short story of his. Of course it is, lol. Great movie.
    - newswasboring 7y ago
      I feel like that is immature. You're implying that a conversation about the kids cannot be pleasurable and informative. I recently moved to an all women team (running joke was that I was a diversity hire) and the kind of things they need to do to prepare for pregnancy blew my mind. When my colleagues talk about their kids asking weird questions and putting their parents in weird situations it's as stimulating a puzzle to solve as any of the philosophical masterbation.
SzamarCsacsi 7y ago
Also you can be an extrovert with severe social anxiety. At least that's what I consider myself, because I don't share any traits with introverts other than being considered shy, because I struggle in social situations.
- tonyarkles 7y ago
  Good job for recognizing the distinction!
CPLX 7y ago
> extroverts are "recharged" by being around others whereas introverts recharge by being alone Is there any actual support for this theory besides its status as an internet meme?
- daliusd 7y ago
  Kind of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion#Social_reactivity_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion#...
- tonyarkles 7y ago
  Of course N=1 and all that, but as a meme that describes how my life went from my teenage years to now, 20 years later, it fits very very well. Maybe you don't like the word, but as a recharge-alone-overt, I don't particularly care about the specific label, I just want to spend Sunday afternoon quietly with a book :)
bonoboTP 7y ago
It's very hard for me to disentangle skill and enjoyment. I feel like I'd enjoy socializing more and would energize me if only I was better at it. It is certainly something that gets easier with practice but some people are just generally not that verbal or good at reading social situations in large groups quick enough to jump in the banter quickly. Or if they can, it may require conscious effort that can get tiring.

iraldir 7y ago

yep, that's correct. Me and my fiancée are both text-books introverts, but I'm not shy at all, have no fear of public speaking etc. while she is the opposite. But for both of us, even having a drink after work with people is super exhausting and we just want to go home and relax, while an extrovert would be depressed staying alone and needs to recharge by having fun with people.

limteary 7y ago

I must be the opposite. After and during socializing I often feel manic but I terribly shy initially and spend all my time alone. Drat.

tonyarkles 7y ago
Some good news though! Shyness, social anxiety, etc, can be overcome with effort, if desired. I've definitely witnessed a number of people "coming out of their shell" so to speak over the years.
non-entity 7y ago
Same here. I was invited to a party late last year and it was the first time really getting out in a long time. It was enjoyable, but I didn't do much socializing till the end. Haven't had an opportunity to get out since tho

nicoburns 7y ago

> The best layman explanation I have heard is that extroverts are "recharged" by being around others whereas introverts recharge by being alone That's a good step 1. Step 2 is realising that introverts often do get energised by one-on-one or small group socialising, or socialising in a more meaningful way around a real shared interest. Step 3 is realising that the concept of introversion/extraversion generalises past social interaction to preferences for levels of external interaction / stimulation in general. So for example, some people may not be super-sociable, but may love lot's of external physical stimulation (music/lights/exercise, etc), others may love to be exposed external ideas (or alternatively have a preference to only be exposed to small amounts of these things). ^ This is the notion of introversion/extroversion captured by the MBTI / Jungian Type Theories, where Extraverted Feeling (Fe) roughly function corresponds to the popular notion of extraversion, but there are also Extraverted Sensing (Se), Extraverted Intuition (Ne) and Extraverted Thinking (Te) functions which present differently.

lonelappde 7y ago
Saying that talking about a book is meaningful but talking to a person about their life, is not is immature inferiority-complex bigotry.
- celticmusic 7y ago
  I would much rather have a conversation about Liu Cixin's dark forest idea than to learn about someone's snotty kid. I guess color me immature with an inferiority-complex bigotry.
  - csilverman 7y ago
    I agree. I can enjoy both, but I get a particular energy out of discussing ideas. Small talk about one's life or vacation is less interesting/energizing to me. And that's okay. I'm not sure why this had to involve a sermon on immaturity and—of all things—bigotry.
    - celticmusic 7y ago
      If you haven't done it, check out wandering earth on netflix, it's based off of a short story by him. I didn't know that going in and about halfway through I remember thinking China must have a lot of amazing Chinese sci-fi writers because the ideas in the movie reminded me of the vastness of Liu Cixin. Then afterwards I look up more info and find out it's based off of a short story of his. Of course it is, lol. Great movie.
  - newswasboring 7y ago
    I feel like that is immature. You're implying that a conversation about the kids cannot be pleasurable and informative. I recently moved to an all women team (running joke was that I was a diversity hire) and the kind of things they need to do to prepare for pregnancy blew my mind. When my colleagues talk about their kids asking weird questions and putting their parents in weird situations it's as stimulating a puzzle to solve as any of the philosophical masterbation.

SzamarCsacsi 7y ago

Also you can be an extrovert with severe social anxiety. At least that's what I consider myself, because I don't share any traits with introverts other than being considered shy, because I struggle in social situations.

tonyarkles 7y ago
Good job for recognizing the distinction!

CPLX 7y ago

> extroverts are "recharged" by being around others whereas introverts recharge by being alone Is there any actual support for this theory besides its status as an internet meme?

daliusd 7y ago
Kind of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion#Social_reactivity_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion#...
tonyarkles 7y ago
Of course N=1 and all that, but as a meme that describes how my life went from my teenage years to now, 20 years later, it fits very very well. Maybe you don't like the word, but as a recharge-alone-overt, I don't particularly care about the specific label, I just want to spend Sunday afternoon quietly with a book :)

bonoboTP 7y ago

It's very hard for me to disentangle skill and enjoyment. I feel like I'd enjoy socializing more and would energize me if only I was better at it. It is certainly something that gets easier with practice but some people are just generally not that verbal or good at reading social situations in large groups quick enough to jump in the banter quickly. Or if they can, it may require conscious effort that can get tiring.