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Yes I do have kids, and I wonder the same thing about people that are overly complex about a process that's quite simple. Show me a parent that sets up complica
by johngalt 16y ago
Yes I do have kids, and I wonder the same thing about people that are overly complex about a process that's quite simple. Show me a parent that sets up complicated rules for themselves and I'll show you a parent that's trying to rationalize. The parent that looks at their kids and says "I think I'll manipulate my two children to punish each other" is abdicating their role.
Many will retreat in the face of a tantrum, and advance on kids that behave. Consider the parent that pushes their straight A student for "another" extra curricular activity, or the parent that helplessly offers bribe after bribe as their child runs wild in a public setting. I've even seen the consequences entirely dependent on the mood of the adult, and the behavior of the kid is secondary.
Both your first and second point agree with the focus of my comment. (First point) Teach the rules by (Second point) having consequences. Third point is easily inferred, because I focus on the child's behavior determining consequences, not parental behavior.
- btilly 16y agoShow me a parent that sets up complicated rules for themselves and I'll show you a parent that's trying to rationalize. Who said anything about complex rules? My opinion is that there are a lot of factors, a lot of subtle trade-offs, and figuring out how you actually want to raise your children is not at all simple. Anyone who thinks it is is just repeating what their parents did. (This is not necessarily bad if you like the way that you were raised.) However in daily life the rules you wind up with should be pretty simple - simple enough that your children readily understand them. But the reasoning behind those rules is another matter entirely.