This article helped me to realize I probably should be seeking help for anxiety. I always knew I had anxious tendencies, but I didn't ever think I was just "suc

This article helped me to realize I probably should be seeking help for anxiety. I always knew I had anxious tendencies, but I didn't ever think I was just "sucking it up" until I read this. I grew up being taught that drinking alcohol is a sin and drugs are evil and your body is sacred. Although I don't hold those beliefs myself I can't help but be manipulated by them. In actuality, I think I'm glad I was raised that way because I think I could very well have fallen into a hole of substance abuse. I've had to learn to cope with my anxiety in other ways. I tend to get very stoic and hyper-focused on problems that make me anxious. I try to use logic to find solutions or--more likely--to find a way to run away and avoid the problem. It hasn't always been easy on my marriage; fortunately I think my wife understands these emotions I have better than I do. I don't know if this is generally true, but for myself, I think the problem has gotten worse as my family has become more and more dependent on me to survive. My wife skipped getting an education to raise a family and as I make more and more each year and our lifestyle gets more and more comfortable then I feel this pressure building up to not fail. If my 18-year-old self could see me now he would be shocked. I'm totally risk-averse, far more introverted, and far more anxious. I don't think it's totally a bad thing, it keeps me and my family protected to a degree, but like everything in life it's a sacrifice. I sacrifice some unknown quality of life to keep what I have now. I find that sometimes I wish it would all come crashing down. That I would lose my job, lose my home, or worse. I think I fantasize about these possibilities sometimes because although they scare me I recognize that I might need an external force to change a life with too much momentum. To be clear, I'm pretty happy. I love my family, I have a decent job with fantastic coworkers, I make good money. I don't have suicidal thoughts, I'm not "healthy" but I don't abuse substances. That's all great, but somehow it isn't enough by itself. I'm just an anxious man I guess.