(i) nope, I'm not crazy; (ii) in your Ortlieb bike pannier or backpack; (iii) commandeer a cupboard in a quiet corner; (iv) if your boss isn't good humored, it'

(i) nope, I'm not crazy; (ii) in your Ortlieb bike pannier or backpack; (iii) commandeer a cupboard in a quiet corner; (iv) if your boss isn't good humored, it's time to change jobs, or change the boss; (v) because they blow away in a strong wind.