4 ms·

Many people here say that "People shouldn't expect to be able to afford to live in populated areas, poorer people should just move to the country side." I gre

by swiley 7y ago

Many people here say that "People shouldn't expect to be able to afford to live in populated areas, poorer people should just move to the country side." I grew up homeschooled in rural America, most people would be better off moving to a different country than moving there. People shouldn't be surprised when isolation (either because of where someone lives or because everyone around them is telling them to stay away) creates horrible people, leaving for university and being around people there is what kept me from going to a pretty horrible place.

alkibiades 7y ago
plenty, if not more, people are isolated and depressed in cities
- goatinaboat 7y ago
  It’s definitely worse, because you get to see all the people having fun and meaningful interactions all around you. If you are physically isolated you can justify it by there simply being no one there but in a city, there’s no escaping having it rubbed in your face.
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]
alexryan 7y ago
When I hear "move to the country side" it sounds an awful lot like "move to the back of the bus". The front of the bus is reserved for the genetically superior humans.
- collyw 7y ago
  Personally I would quite like to move to the countryside, but if you are in any sort of skilled profession, the jobs are usually in the city.
  - randomdata 7y ago
    I live in the countryside and have yet to find a profession performed in the city that isn't also done in the area here. In absolute numbers, there are unquestionably more jobs in the city, but there are also more people vying for those jobs. Relatively speaking, I don't see much difference. If you are exceptional at what you do, I think it is fair to say that the most prestigious jobs are most likely to be found in the big city. Major league sports teams, for example, are pretty much only found in cities but even here in the countryside people are paid to play sports in not-so-major leagues. Rural folk pay for entertainment too. However, I will add that even people in prestigious jobs often live in countryside. A surprising number of major league professional athletes, ones you have probably heard of if you follow their respective sports, have homes near me. Given their prestigious careers, they can afford to live away from work for at least part of the year. And not just professional athletes. I regularly bump into the CEO of a very successful tech company (thousands of employees with offices worldwide) who also lives out here in the boonies part of the year.
    - ehnto 7y ago
      When I moved to thew city, from my small town 300km away, my boss at my first serious software gig happened to have a holiday home in my home town. My next serious job after that, the CEO was born and grew up in the same town as my father, population of just hundereds, in the middle of the outback 700km away. Big continent, tiny world!
r3bl 7y ago
I couldn't agree more. I can't help but feel like the Venn's diagram between people who suggest "move to a more rural area" and people who never lived in a rural area for a prolonged period of time is a full circle. It sure doesn't help that there's a bunch of articles about people who "found happiness" by moving to a rural area like a year ago. You may see some benefit in the short term (yes, one year is a short term), but on a long term it will fuck you up.
- sethammons 7y ago
  I grew up and lived in a small mountain community. 63 houses. The "big city" nearby was population 50k. That is where we went to school. I lived there for 30 years, and commuted to a coastal city two hours away for several years. I've since started being fully remote. Can you explain on how being rural will fuck you up? Do I count as rural as described above?
  - SketchySeaBeast 7y ago
    What was your commute time to the big city? Being in a small community but being within a daily commute of a big city seems to make you a bedroom community, not an isolated community.
    - sethammons 7y ago
      About 20-30 minutes into town. That town was traditionally agricultural but became what was considered the bedroom community for going another hour out to where a lot of people worked, or one more hour out to where more people worked. All that aside, rural means relating to the countryside rather than in town. We were out of town for sure.
- that_jojo 7y ago
  >but on a long term it will fuck you up I know you already probably get the gist, seeing the way your comment has dropped down the page. But, as a relatively well-adjusted and successful person who grew up on 12 acres in the boonies and knows many like folks, I would just like to personally tell you to go fuck yourself.
Cthulhu_ 7y ago
I'd love to move to the countryside, you can get a lot more house for the money you pay here for one, but the jobs aren't there. I mean they are, but they're not as hip as they are where I live and work at the moment - think back-end Java work or small time local business websites. What needs to happen is distribution of work. It's difficult, granted, but not impossible for companies to create smaller offices for specific products or subdivisions. But it's a chicken / egg problem; people working in the city (at a tech company) don't want to move because they live there now, and companies don't want to move or create offices further out because there's no good developers there. But at the same time, companies will gladly pay for relocating people from abroad. Why not do the same for moving into the countryside? This should be fine for expats as long as they're not too picky about where they end up living.
- arvinsim 7y ago
  > But it's a chicken / egg problem; people working in the city (at a tech company) don't want to move because they live there now, and companies don't want to move or create offices further out because there's no good developers there. I am pretty sure that some developers prefer to live in a low cost area but companies often use that as leverage to lower down compensation.
randomdata 7y ago
It sounds more like you finding a place to meet people (university) was what freed you from social isolation more than its actual location on earth. Had you not been homeschooled, it is likely you would have found the same outlet in the schools that were local to your childhood home. I have lived in big cities, but currently reside in a rural area. I have never felt less socially isolated than I do now. They say it takes at least 40 hours of time spent together to make a friend. That makes school the ultimate place to make friends as you're pretty much forced to be around the same people for >40 hours. However, as an adult no longer in school, I have found that the smaller community increases the chances of seeing the same people each day, which prolongs the time spent together, and increases the chances of becoming friends. In the big city, more often than not I'd meet people one day and then never see them again. That is isolating.
- ehnto 7y ago
  Regular exposure to the same people is the key. What has gone missing is regular gatherings where serendipitous conversations can happen with people you will meet again. That's why people would go to pubs, hobby clubs and skateparks. You know there will be someone you know there without organizing it, if you go there regularly. I have found that few in my broad age bracket(20-40) goes to many places regularly. Even the gym, which should be pretty regimented and consistent, is totally inconsistent in patronage. That's 3 years in the same gym and there is maybe 4 regulars. I have no trouble saying hello to people, but when I never see them again it's a moot point. My best success so far is mountain biking, yet still. I am there the same time every day, three days a week, and rarely see the same person twice. When I do start to notice some regulars, I break something and then by the time I get back to riding the regulars are already back to irregular and I never see them again. I used to think I need to be organizing stuff in order to make and keep friends, but I think we just need to make the concession to be somewhere regularly to give friendships the opportunity to happen. We seek novelty so much the idea of going to the same place twice in a fortnight keeps us all from bumping into eachother.
  - notduncansmith 7y ago
    Oldenburg’s concept of a “third place” describes this nicely https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place

by swiley 7y ago

alkibiades 7y ago

plenty, if not more, people are isolated and depressed in cities

goatinaboat 7y ago
It’s definitely worse, because you get to see all the people having fun and meaningful interactions all around you. If you are physically isolated you can justify it by there simply being no one there but in a city, there’s no escaping having it rubbed in your face.

deleted 7y ago

[deleted]

alexryan 7y ago

When I hear "move to the country side" it sounds an awful lot like "move to the back of the bus". The front of the bus is reserved for the genetically superior humans.

collyw 7y ago
Personally I would quite like to move to the countryside, but if you are in any sort of skilled profession, the jobs are usually in the city.
- randomdata 7y ago
  I live in the countryside and have yet to find a profession performed in the city that isn't also done in the area here. In absolute numbers, there are unquestionably more jobs in the city, but there are also more people vying for those jobs. Relatively speaking, I don't see much difference. If you are exceptional at what you do, I think it is fair to say that the most prestigious jobs are most likely to be found in the big city. Major league sports teams, for example, are pretty much only found in cities but even here in the countryside people are paid to play sports in not-so-major leagues. Rural folk pay for entertainment too. However, I will add that even people in prestigious jobs often live in countryside. A surprising number of major league professional athletes, ones you have probably heard of if you follow their respective sports, have homes near me. Given their prestigious careers, they can afford to live away from work for at least part of the year. And not just professional athletes. I regularly bump into the CEO of a very successful tech company (thousands of employees with offices worldwide) who also lives out here in the boonies part of the year.
  - ehnto 7y ago
    When I moved to thew city, from my small town 300km away, my boss at my first serious software gig happened to have a holiday home in my home town. My next serious job after that, the CEO was born and grew up in the same town as my father, population of just hundereds, in the middle of the outback 700km away. Big continent, tiny world!

r3bl 7y ago

I couldn't agree more. I can't help but feel like the Venn's diagram between people who suggest "move to a more rural area" and people who never lived in a rural area for a prolonged period of time is a full circle. It sure doesn't help that there's a bunch of articles about people who "found happiness" by moving to a rural area like a year ago. You may see some benefit in the short term (yes, one year is a short term), but on a long term it will fuck you up.

sethammons 7y ago
I grew up and lived in a small mountain community. 63 houses. The "big city" nearby was population 50k. That is where we went to school. I lived there for 30 years, and commuted to a coastal city two hours away for several years. I've since started being fully remote. Can you explain on how being rural will fuck you up? Do I count as rural as described above?
- SketchySeaBeast 7y ago
  What was your commute time to the big city? Being in a small community but being within a daily commute of a big city seems to make you a bedroom community, not an isolated community.
  - sethammons 7y ago
    About 20-30 minutes into town. That town was traditionally agricultural but became what was considered the bedroom community for going another hour out to where a lot of people worked, or one more hour out to where more people worked. All that aside, rural means relating to the countryside rather than in town. We were out of town for sure.
that_jojo 7y ago
>but on a long term it will fuck you up I know you already probably get the gist, seeing the way your comment has dropped down the page. But, as a relatively well-adjusted and successful person who grew up on 12 acres in the boonies and knows many like folks, I would just like to personally tell you to go fuck yourself.

Cthulhu_ 7y ago

I'd love to move to the countryside, you can get a lot more house for the money you pay here for one, but the jobs aren't there. I mean they are, but they're not as hip as they are where I live and work at the moment - think back-end Java work or small time local business websites. What needs to happen is distribution of work. It's difficult, granted, but not impossible for companies to create smaller offices for specific products or subdivisions. But it's a chicken / egg problem; people working in the city (at a tech company) don't want to move because they live there now, and companies don't want to move or create offices further out because there's no good developers there. But at the same time, companies will gladly pay for relocating people from abroad. Why not do the same for moving into the countryside? This should be fine for expats as long as they're not too picky about where they end up living.

arvinsim 7y ago
> But it's a chicken / egg problem; people working in the city (at a tech company) don't want to move because they live there now, and companies don't want to move or create offices further out because there's no good developers there. I am pretty sure that some developers prefer to live in a low cost area but companies often use that as leverage to lower down compensation.

randomdata 7y ago

It sounds more like you finding a place to meet people (university) was what freed you from social isolation more than its actual location on earth. Had you not been homeschooled, it is likely you would have found the same outlet in the schools that were local to your childhood home. I have lived in big cities, but currently reside in a rural area. I have never felt less socially isolated than I do now. They say it takes at least 40 hours of time spent together to make a friend. That makes school the ultimate place to make friends as you're pretty much forced to be around the same people for >40 hours. However, as an adult no longer in school, I have found that the smaller community increases the chances of seeing the same people each day, which prolongs the time spent together, and increases the chances of becoming friends. In the big city, more often than not I'd meet people one day and then never see them again. That is isolating.

ehnto 7y ago
Regular exposure to the same people is the key. What has gone missing is regular gatherings where serendipitous conversations can happen with people you will meet again. That's why people would go to pubs, hobby clubs and skateparks. You know there will be someone you know there without organizing it, if you go there regularly. I have found that few in my broad age bracket(20-40) goes to many places regularly. Even the gym, which should be pretty regimented and consistent, is totally inconsistent in patronage. That's 3 years in the same gym and there is maybe 4 regulars. I have no trouble saying hello to people, but when I never see them again it's a moot point. My best success so far is mountain biking, yet still. I am there the same time every day, three days a week, and rarely see the same person twice. When I do start to notice some regulars, I break something and then by the time I get back to riding the regulars are already back to irregular and I never see them again. I used to think I need to be organizing stuff in order to make and keep friends, but I think we just need to make the concession to be somewhere regularly to give friendships the opportunity to happen. We seek novelty so much the idea of going to the same place twice in a fortnight keeps us all from bumping into eachother.
- notduncansmith 7y ago
  Oldenburg’s concept of a “third place” describes this nicely https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place