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The nature of your comment is what I call apprehension. Let's be very clear that we are talking about a job that provides compensation in exchange for work. I

The nature of your comment is what I call apprehension. Let's be very clear that we are talking about a job that provides compensation in exchange for work. If there is something that is not understood, even a little bit, it is more than acceptable to ask questions. This is generally encouraged. However it is helpful to have some clear questions to ask. This is when a mentor can step through the code with them, line by line if necessary and that's fine. Simply throwing up your hands because life is hard isn't an acceptable answer. Yes, I have encountered this frequently. This is typically manifested by hoping a tool writes your code for you only to be followed by soul crushing defeat (and endless excuses) when the reality sets in that the tool in question is a leaky abstraction. Simply asking a developer to try does not an asshole make, but actually it does (matter of perspective). I call this entitlement. It isn't a lack of empathy. Empathy is manifest through good mentorship on the part of the mentor. You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink when they as they think they should have to. This confusion is why I am walking myself out of the corporate world. I just received a recruitment letter last week from one of the FAANG companies and I will not respond. I am tired of the fun and games. You can have it. I am on my way to somewhere more selective that takes mentorship a bit more seriously.

leviathant 7y ago
One of the most consistent means of self-improvement I've found is to think about the behavior that other people exhibit that has been irritating me, and consider whether or not I'm actually upset about my own behavior and projecting that elsewhere. It sucks, but more often than not, I've found that the things I'm upset at other people over are reflections of my own behavior. So, just in this thread, I've noticed a few interesting statements. > I am in management, possibly longer than you have held your career. vs. > I do not assert superiority and I also don't make baseless assumptions about strangers on the internet. Do you understand how those two statements are in direct odds with each other? >Oh how I tire of profoundly sensitive people. vs. > This is what causes me to look for new employment and cry into my pillow at night. Obviously this is an attempt at humor, and it's funny, but maybe not in the way you were thinking. >Simply throwing up your hands because life is hard isn't an acceptable answer. > You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink when they as they think they should have to. > I do think of people who have trouble with confrontations as weak. [...] >This confusion is why I am walking myself out of the corporate world. [...] I am tired of the fun and games. So... you're confused, having trouble with confrontations, and are throwing your hands up... because you're weak and life is hard? ;) Sincerely though, best of luck in your future endeavors! A few paragraphs in an HN thread is in no way an complete insight into the years you've had working wherever it is you work. Nonetheless, in this window you opened up, I hope you see some patterns in the feedback you've gotten here on HN from your posts in this thread and take that into consideration when working with other people in the future. Enjoy what's left of the weekend!

leviathant 7y ago

One of the most consistent means of self-improvement I've found is to think about the behavior that other people exhibit that has been irritating me, and consider whether or not I'm actually upset about my own behavior and projecting that elsewhere. It sucks, but more often than not, I've found that the things I'm upset at other people over are reflections of my own behavior. So, just in this thread, I've noticed a few interesting statements. > I am in management, possibly longer than you have held your career. vs. > I do not assert superiority and I also don't make baseless assumptions about strangers on the internet. Do you understand how those two statements are in direct odds with each other? >Oh how I tire of profoundly sensitive people. vs. > This is what causes me to look for new employment and cry into my pillow at night. Obviously this is an attempt at humor, and it's funny, but maybe not in the way you were thinking. >Simply throwing up your hands because life is hard isn't an acceptable answer. > You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink when they as they think they should have to. > I do think of people who have trouble with confrontations as weak. [...] >This confusion is why I am walking myself out of the corporate world. [...] I am tired of the fun and games. So... you're confused, having trouble with confrontations, and are throwing your hands up... because you're weak and life is hard? ;) Sincerely though, best of luck in your future endeavors! A few paragraphs in an HN thread is in no way an complete insight into the years you've had working wherever it is you work. Nonetheless, in this window you opened up, I hope you see some patterns in the feedback you've gotten here on HN from your posts in this thread and take that into consideration when working with other people in the future. Enjoy what's left of the weekend!