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In many cases I don't think social media helps young men OR women at all. To summarise a discussion I had with a friend who has teenager kids recently - when we

by iamben 7y ago

In many cases I don't think social media helps young men OR women at all. To summarise a discussion I had with a friend who has teenager kids recently - when we were growing up we had magazines telling us what was 'cool'. Music, movies, clothes. They appeared once a week or month. Television and film 'cool' was behind real life. The Daily Mail was a paper your parents read - that as odious as it may have been - didn't have to space to point out every young actress/model/instagrammer's beach cellulite. You might have been bullied at school for not wearing Nike sneakers, but you could buy _any_ Nike sneakers and largely escape attention. Now social media blasts kids with "this is what's cool" on an hourly basis. Not got the latest Off-White? Uncool. Jordan Mids? Uncool. Still wearing [brand here]? Uncool. On top of that, everyone promoted is wealthy, beautiful and photoshopped. And on top of that it's all insanely addictive. So not only are you told over and over you're behind with the latest trends, and not only are you made to feel over and over that you're not pretty/wealthy/happy/cultured/whatever enough, but you're addicted to seeing it. And then everyone has a platform to bully you for it 24 hours a day. It's not even like you have that 12 hour respite where you're not at school. I can't begin to imagine how as a fragile teenager this sort of thing would have affected me. Props to anyone young that keeps their head together. Anyway, just my 2c.

pas 7y ago
Couple it with the exaggerated standards for dating, which leads to lonely frustrated/depressed people. And for some reason it's even harder to make friends today. (Probably because people drift away from each other faster. Better global mobility, you can have a job anywhere, you can study anywhere, your work might include a lots of travel. You switch jobs faster than people used to. There are a lot more things to do even on a budget, so individual differences get an emphasis, but then those things to do don't provide with new friends. You can do yoga, hiking, biking, sailing, paragliding, and whatever for a few months then switch to the next, the years go by, and you haven't formed a lasting connection. Plus add the whole experience industry - you don't have to do the hiking with the local enthusiasts, you can simply pick a guided/organized event every week, and meet new people every week. And there are even more things to do online - which are again not the typical friends making venue.) Oh, and don't forget those beautiful echo chambers on the Internet. That helps to radicalize people. (Just go to a gun enthusiast site after any/each shooting and look at the comments. Then look at an anti-gun whatever site, maybe HufPo?)
ryandrake 7y ago
Yet, a great deal of it can be sidestepped by simply avoiding social media. I can empathize and understand, but having trouble sympathizing. “This thing that I voluntarily do makes me unhappy.” Well, stop doing it! Someone right now could be bullying me on Facebook. Someone might be targeting me with a Facebook ads. They might be sending me links to the latest fashions. None of it affects me or my mental health at all because I have not used Facebook in close to ten years.

by iamben 7y ago

pas 7y ago

Couple it with the exaggerated standards for dating, which leads to lonely frustrated/depressed people. And for some reason it's even harder to make friends today. (Probably because people drift away from each other faster. Better global mobility, you can have a job anywhere, you can study anywhere, your work might include a lots of travel. You switch jobs faster than people used to. There are a lot more things to do even on a budget, so individual differences get an emphasis, but then those things to do don't provide with new friends. You can do yoga, hiking, biking, sailing, paragliding, and whatever for a few months then switch to the next, the years go by, and you haven't formed a lasting connection. Plus add the whole experience industry - you don't have to do the hiking with the local enthusiasts, you can simply pick a guided/organized event every week, and meet new people every week. And there are even more things to do online - which are again not the typical friends making venue.) Oh, and don't forget those beautiful echo chambers on the Internet. That helps to radicalize people. (Just go to a gun enthusiast site after any/each shooting and look at the comments. Then look at an anti-gun whatever site, maybe HufPo?)

ryandrake 7y ago

Yet, a great deal of it can be sidestepped by simply avoiding social media. I can empathize and understand, but having trouble sympathizing. “This thing that I voluntarily do makes me unhappy.” Well, stop doing it! Someone right now could be bullying me on Facebook. Someone might be targeting me with a Facebook ads. They might be sending me links to the latest fashions. None of it affects me or my mental health at all because I have not used Facebook in close to ten years.