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The thing that bothers me the most is the lack of consensus. For every economically free woman there seem to be 5 more that would prefer the man to pay for eve
by rolltiide 7y ago
The thing that bothers me the most is the lack of consensus.
For every economically free woman there seem to be 5 more that would prefer the man to pay for every date or assume other traditional roles, no matter how it is rationalized. (My experiences in the Americas and most European cultures.) In this article about Japan that seems like an accurate distribution, given that it mentions only 1 out of 7 subscribe to any of the logic/circumstances the article is written about.
To be a male ally for the economically free and liberated woman is almost the worst form of altruism.
The incentives are completely misaligned. All you can do is learn about what the sensibilities are, never publicly disagree with them on record or around a woman striving for these ideals, but do the complete opposite with the much larger population of women that expects a certain traditional heteronormative gender role.
(The goal, of course, is to be an eligible mate - or not ineligible - for all of them)
- krapp 7y ago>The thing that bothers me the most is the lack of consensus. >For every economically free woman there seem to be 5 more that would prefer the man to pay for every date or assume other traditional roles, no matter how it is rationalized. Women, like men, are individuals possessed of a diverse set of opinions and beliefs, they do not operate according to a consensus algorithm. To expect "consensus" among an entire gender on a topic like feminist identity and inter (and intra) gender relationship dynamics, particularly at the level of social and cultural expectations, is sexist and diminishing. >The goal, of course, is to be an eligible mate - or not ineligible - for all of them No, the goal is, or should be, to support human rights, because that is what womens' rights are. Men should be allies of women and of feminism because the belief that women have the right to bodily, social, political and career autonomy is the morally correct position to hold, not as a pretext to maximizing their chances of getting laid.
- rolltiide 7y agoI agree with you Many people deciding what feminism is are speaking on behalf of their whole gender and leave no oxygen for others to point out the lack of consensus on these matters. Its the same filter bubble seen on other polarizing topics, your echo chamber agrees with you and everyone that disagrees is an irreconcilable deplorable. I agree people should be treated as individuals Lack of consensus accurately describes my frustration