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One of my first posts on HN was asking how people, especially ones working remote or in small offices, manage to deal with loneliness. I was overwhelmed by the

One of my first posts on HN was asking how people, especially ones working remote or in small offices, manage to deal with loneliness. I was overwhelmed by the number of replies, and saddened that it seems to be a really common issue. Part of the article says "Still, the findings on millennial are surprising." which... I think at this point you have to deliberately go out of your way to avoid articles on loneliness (in the millennial age group). They're a pretty hot topic right now, especially with the realization of the physical health impacts chronic loneliness has. I still struggle with feeling lonely on a daily basis. It's really hard. But, one thing that seems to help, at least sometimes: Strike up a conversation with a stranger. Sometimes it goes sour, but the majority of the time I find that the stranger I strike up a conversation with is just as eager to have a conversation. Considering loneliness is pretty common, you'll likely be striking up a conversation with someone who is lonely as well.

sithadmin 7y ago
>the majority of the time I find that the stranger I strike up a conversation with is just as eager to have a conversation I've attempted this a lot, as means to cope with spending enormous amounts of time in transient spaces such as airports, hotels, etc. (~300+ days/yr "on the road"). I've observed that age seems to be a huge factor in whether or not this actually works. As a millennial, I don't seem to have a lot of success with this when it comes to striking up conversations with other millennials -- my success rate starting and keeping a conversation going here is probably in the 10-20% range, and most of the time, the conversation ends within a minute or two because the other party just doesn't seem that interested in a conversation, even in cases where there are some clear shared interests or connections. My success rate with gen X-ers is better, probably in the 30-40% range. Boomers are by far the most receptive, with probably a 50-60% success rate at keeping a conversation going for a while.
- kentm 7y ago
  Frankly, I'm often interested in a conversation but just have trouble keeping the conversation from heading into terminal states. Perhaps thats just because the other party isn't interested.
- mntmoss 7y ago
  Taking improv class, I got to meet a lot of people who - besides the acting part of improv - were basically interested in striking up conversation. I was a bit out of my comfort zone, but it was a good learning experience and it gave me a few skills to work with: now I go into conversations, and even small interactions, not just thinking about the business topic or whatever is on my mind, but about effortfully constructing an appropriate scene and being a character in that scene, in that momement. And that gives me more room to play with and to spot common "tactical conversation" methods. Regardless, I'm still basically a quiet person and keep to myself in public - it's a thing I have to "turn on".

sithadmin 7y ago

>the majority of the time I find that the stranger I strike up a conversation with is just as eager to have a conversation I've attempted this a lot, as means to cope with spending enormous amounts of time in transient spaces such as airports, hotels, etc. (~300+ days/yr "on the road"). I've observed that age seems to be a huge factor in whether or not this actually works. As a millennial, I don't seem to have a lot of success with this when it comes to striking up conversations with other millennials -- my success rate starting and keeping a conversation going here is probably in the 10-20% range, and most of the time, the conversation ends within a minute or two because the other party just doesn't seem that interested in a conversation, even in cases where there are some clear shared interests or connections. My success rate with gen X-ers is better, probably in the 30-40% range. Boomers are by far the most receptive, with probably a 50-60% success rate at keeping a conversation going for a while.

kentm 7y ago
Frankly, I'm often interested in a conversation but just have trouble keeping the conversation from heading into terminal states. Perhaps thats just because the other party isn't interested.
mntmoss 7y ago
Taking improv class, I got to meet a lot of people who - besides the acting part of improv - were basically interested in striking up conversation. I was a bit out of my comfort zone, but it was a good learning experience and it gave me a few skills to work with: now I go into conversations, and even small interactions, not just thinking about the business topic or whatever is on my mind, but about effortfully constructing an appropriate scene and being a character in that scene, in that momement. And that gives me more room to play with and to spot common "tactical conversation" methods. Regardless, I'm still basically a quiet person and keep to myself in public - it's a thing I have to "turn on".