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I live in a van in the Valley, have an engineering degree from a top school, bankruptcy, student loan debt over me I can never hope to repay but cannot hold a j

I live in a van in the Valley, have an engineering degree from a top school, bankruptcy, student loan debt over me I can never hope to repay but cannot hold a job. No drugs, no smoking, no drinking, no sanitation issues, and no hanging out in the daytime with the locals. As the learning experience of life, I realize that much of what Americans believe is a lie and that they cling to ideas and beliefs that aren't helpful for them in their circumstances: aspirational "rich" people who take up attitudes and political fashions that hurt themselves and let themselves be divided-and-conquered with artificial divisions until we're atomized and estranged from one another into seemingly virtual isolation. Plus, there's American hyper-individualism and anomie of discontent and hopelessness that's degrading the society from a network of communities into a Kafkaesque Lord of the Flies, anarcho-vulture-capitalist nightmare. American "exceptionalism" now seems to mean "If I get mine, screw everyone else."

wallace_f 7y ago
When you say you can't keep a job, why do you think that? One thing I learned from my experiences is "to be the change I hope to see in the world." In my case, I could have made my life about revenge, but I chose to move on. When the bullying, stalking and pscyhopathy followed me, one of my coping mechanisms was to start complaining about the world. After all, my world really was crazy. I see you doing this in your post. And I'm sorry if that sounds condescending, but I don't intend it to--I do the same thing. So it may be possible that you should seek the ideals and virtues which you desire in the world as goals within yourself. If you're not dealing with a kind of extreme bullying, I think you should have a chance to thrive if you can find a lucky break getting someone to take another chance on you. An engineering degree from a top school is a marketable asset. I haven't tried finding a job for years now. I got overwhelmed with all these attacks that were happening to me, what to do about it, and have frankly had some PTSD about it. So maybe I'm speaking from ignorance about finding someone to give you another chance. Especially back in America... I suppose it is hard to build momentum again.
hestipod 7y ago
I tried to counter the backlash but I only have one vote. I hear you, agree with you, and know it to be true no matter what angry "nope" people choose to respond with. Some people refuse to believe any truth until they themselves suffer it.
erikpukinskis 7y ago
> As the learning experience of life, I realize that much of what Americans believe is a lie Wait til you realize all of those things are also true. Then you’ll be really lost. Eventually you have to accept that we either make our own truth, or defer to an authority. Reality isn’t consistent from person to person. We are in a mutuality with the world that both observes and constructs itself. We can find other people who we “track” with, for a time, in some slice of life. But if you want to stay in that place, you’ll need to discount some conflicting bits of those people, which takes you back to choosing your reality.
- chiefalchemist 7y ago
  Reality is not absolute. It's more of a consensus.
9HZZRfNlpR 7y ago
Can you share why you can't hold a job? I have similar background and problem, just wonder how and if you can define yours.

wallace_f 7y ago

When you say you can't keep a job, why do you think that? One thing I learned from my experiences is "to be the change I hope to see in the world." In my case, I could have made my life about revenge, but I chose to move on. When the bullying, stalking and pscyhopathy followed me, one of my coping mechanisms was to start complaining about the world. After all, my world really was crazy. I see you doing this in your post. And I'm sorry if that sounds condescending, but I don't intend it to--I do the same thing. So it may be possible that you should seek the ideals and virtues which you desire in the world as goals within yourself. If you're not dealing with a kind of extreme bullying, I think you should have a chance to thrive if you can find a lucky break getting someone to take another chance on you. An engineering degree from a top school is a marketable asset. I haven't tried finding a job for years now. I got overwhelmed with all these attacks that were happening to me, what to do about it, and have frankly had some PTSD about it. So maybe I'm speaking from ignorance about finding someone to give you another chance. Especially back in America... I suppose it is hard to build momentum again.

hestipod 7y ago

I tried to counter the backlash but I only have one vote. I hear you, agree with you, and know it to be true no matter what angry "nope" people choose to respond with. Some people refuse to believe any truth until they themselves suffer it.

erikpukinskis 7y ago

> As the learning experience of life, I realize that much of what Americans believe is a lie Wait til you realize all of those things are also true. Then you’ll be really lost. Eventually you have to accept that we either make our own truth, or defer to an authority. Reality isn’t consistent from person to person. We are in a mutuality with the world that both observes and constructs itself. We can find other people who we “track” with, for a time, in some slice of life. But if you want to stay in that place, you’ll need to discount some conflicting bits of those people, which takes you back to choosing your reality.

chiefalchemist 7y ago
Reality is not absolute. It's more of a consensus.

9HZZRfNlpR 7y ago

Can you share why you can't hold a job? I have similar background and problem, just wonder how and if you can define yours.