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I am not a typical homeless person. I am educated, skilled and I have no addictions, etc. I'm also not living on the street, and am lucky to not have any health

I am not a typical homeless person. I am educated, skilled and I have no addictions, etc. I'm also not living on the street, and am lucky to not have any health problems. But I think my story really can perhaps reveal how incredibly easy it can be for one to have the misfortune to end up in such situations. My own experiences have opened my eyes to how abusive people can be, and perhaps this is a significant aspect of the stories of people who have failed to thrive. I don't know everyone's experience -- this is just mine. Actually, I've often been afraid, or ashamed, to speak about the unfortunate circumstances of my life, and I've never known where to get help. I mentioned it here[1], recently on HN. The discussion there made me wonder if it is better for people like me to share their stories. It's interesting that in the public conciousness, there is such a vocal push back against abuse, tyranny and even victim blaming. Of course it does still happen, even with consensus being against it. Most reasonable people do not appeal to living such a world, but there is an unfortunate hypocritical nature in humanity, where while people don't want to live in such a world, some of the same people are keen to take advantage, and in ways can be submissive to bullies and tyrants. I wonder how many people there are out there with stories like mine, who have survived pscyhopathic aggression and extreme bullying, but with irreperable social or professional lives and nobody to fall back on. I think history is full of examples of people who have been victim to such crazy, immoral things. And of course everyone says in retrospect, "if I had been there, I'd have done something."

throwaway3627 7y ago
I live in a van in the Valley, have an engineering degree from a top school, bankruptcy, student loan debt over me I can never hope to repay but cannot hold a job. No drugs, no smoking, no drinking, no sanitation issues, and no hanging out in the daytime with the locals. As the learning experience of life, I realize that much of what Americans believe is a lie and that they cling to ideas and beliefs that aren't helpful for them in their circumstances: aspirational "rich" people who take up attitudes and political fashions that hurt themselves and let themselves be divided-and-conquered with artificial divisions until we're atomized and estranged from one another into seemingly virtual isolation. Plus, there's American hyper-individualism and anomie of discontent and hopelessness that's degrading the society from a network of communities into a Kafkaesque Lord of the Flies, anarcho-vulture-capitalist nightmare. American "exceptionalism" now seems to mean "If I get mine, screw everyone else."
- wallace_f 7y ago
  When you say you can't keep a job, why do you think that? One thing I learned from my experiences is "to be the change I hope to see in the world." In my case, I could have made my life about revenge, but I chose to move on. When the bullying, stalking and pscyhopathy followed me, one of my coping mechanisms was to start complaining about the world. After all, my world really was crazy. I see you doing this in your post. And I'm sorry if that sounds condescending, but I don't intend it to--I do the same thing. So it may be possible that you should seek the ideals and virtues which you desire in the world as goals within yourself. If you're not dealing with a kind of extreme bullying, I think you should have a chance to thrive if you can find a lucky break getting someone to take another chance on you. An engineering degree from a top school is a marketable asset. I haven't tried finding a job for years now. I got overwhelmed with all these attacks that were happening to me, what to do about it, and have frankly had some PTSD about it. So maybe I'm speaking from ignorance about finding someone to give you another chance. Especially back in America... I suppose it is hard to build momentum again.
- hestipod 7y ago
  I tried to counter the backlash but I only have one vote. I hear you, agree with you, and know it to be true no matter what angry "nope" people choose to respond with. Some people refuse to believe any truth until they themselves suffer it.
- erikpukinskis 7y ago
  > As the learning experience of life, I realize that much of what Americans believe is a lie Wait til you realize all of those things are also true. Then you’ll be really lost. Eventually you have to accept that we either make our own truth, or defer to an authority. Reality isn’t consistent from person to person. We are in a mutuality with the world that both observes and constructs itself. We can find other people who we “track” with, for a time, in some slice of life. But if you want to stay in that place, you’ll need to discount some conflicting bits of those people, which takes you back to choosing your reality.
  - chiefalchemist 7y ago
hestipod 7y ago
Yes please share. People need to know this is real and not abstract. I share often if nothing else to feel less alone and that I am still a human being. I used to be ashamed of it but don't care anymore because I've already lost everything I had built in life. They cannot take anything more from me but some old physical belongings and fading vestiges of hope. Tell us your stories. I will read them.
chiefalchemist 7y ago
Do you know of the book "Evicted" by Matthew Desmond? It was for me both enlightening (in what it revealed) and depressing (in what it revealed). Yeah, some people make bad decisions. We. All. Do. The difference is, some are more unlucky than others. Life is hard. I'm not sure why we go out of our way to make it hard for others (who need our help). http://evictedbook.com/ http://evictedbook.com/
- RankingMember 7y ago
  I personally think that the reason that some people act callous towards those who are poor/experiencing misfortune is ultimately because they're afraid. If you tell yourself that people end up poor because of a moral failing, you make poverty seem like something that won't and can't ever happen to you, because the very fact that you're not currently in poverty proves that you must have a better moral constitution somehow.
  - chiefalchemist 7y ago
    Yes. Fear drives a lot, if not all, negative human behavior. What makes matters worse is it's difficult to self-identity that we are acting out of fear.
    - wallace_f 7y ago
      I want to believe in such a redeeming explanation for moral failings, but I think my experiences have shown that a lot of people just care about themselves, and some are enthused to defeat or put down others, even by cheating or other abuse. I wish I knew where to get help. I just want to have a normal life.

throwaway3627 7y ago

I live in a van in the Valley, have an engineering degree from a top school, bankruptcy, student loan debt over me I can never hope to repay but cannot hold a job. No drugs, no smoking, no drinking, no sanitation issues, and no hanging out in the daytime with the locals. As the learning experience of life, I realize that much of what Americans believe is a lie and that they cling to ideas and beliefs that aren't helpful for them in their circumstances: aspirational "rich" people who take up attitudes and political fashions that hurt themselves and let themselves be divided-and-conquered with artificial divisions until we're atomized and estranged from one another into seemingly virtual isolation. Plus, there's American hyper-individualism and anomie of discontent and hopelessness that's degrading the society from a network of communities into a Kafkaesque Lord of the Flies, anarcho-vulture-capitalist nightmare. American "exceptionalism" now seems to mean "If I get mine, screw everyone else."

wallace_f 7y ago
When you say you can't keep a job, why do you think that? One thing I learned from my experiences is "to be the change I hope to see in the world." In my case, I could have made my life about revenge, but I chose to move on. When the bullying, stalking and pscyhopathy followed me, one of my coping mechanisms was to start complaining about the world. After all, my world really was crazy. I see you doing this in your post. And I'm sorry if that sounds condescending, but I don't intend it to--I do the same thing. So it may be possible that you should seek the ideals and virtues which you desire in the world as goals within yourself. If you're not dealing with a kind of extreme bullying, I think you should have a chance to thrive if you can find a lucky break getting someone to take another chance on you. An engineering degree from a top school is a marketable asset. I haven't tried finding a job for years now. I got overwhelmed with all these attacks that were happening to me, what to do about it, and have frankly had some PTSD about it. So maybe I'm speaking from ignorance about finding someone to give you another chance. Especially back in America... I suppose it is hard to build momentum again.
hestipod 7y ago
I tried to counter the backlash but I only have one vote. I hear you, agree with you, and know it to be true no matter what angry "nope" people choose to respond with. Some people refuse to believe any truth until they themselves suffer it.
erikpukinskis 7y ago
> As the learning experience of life, I realize that much of what Americans believe is a lie Wait til you realize all of those things are also true. Then you’ll be really lost. Eventually you have to accept that we either make our own truth, or defer to an authority. Reality isn’t consistent from person to person. We are in a mutuality with the world that both observes and constructs itself. We can find other people who we “track” with, for a time, in some slice of life. But if you want to stay in that place, you’ll need to discount some conflicting bits of those people, which takes you back to choosing your reality.
- chiefalchemist 7y ago

hestipod 7y ago

Yes please share. People need to know this is real and not abstract. I share often if nothing else to feel less alone and that I am still a human being. I used to be ashamed of it but don't care anymore because I've already lost everything I had built in life. They cannot take anything more from me but some old physical belongings and fading vestiges of hope. Tell us your stories. I will read them.

chiefalchemist 7y ago

Do you know of the book "Evicted" by Matthew Desmond? It was for me both enlightening (in what it revealed) and depressing (in what it revealed). Yeah, some people make bad decisions. We. All. Do. The difference is, some are more unlucky than others. Life is hard. I'm not sure why we go out of our way to make it hard for others (who need our help). http://evictedbook.com/ http://evictedbook.com/

RankingMember 7y ago
I personally think that the reason that some people act callous towards those who are poor/experiencing misfortune is ultimately because they're afraid. If you tell yourself that people end up poor because of a moral failing, you make poverty seem like something that won't and can't ever happen to you, because the very fact that you're not currently in poverty proves that you must have a better moral constitution somehow.
- chiefalchemist 7y ago
  Yes. Fear drives a lot, if not all, negative human behavior. What makes matters worse is it's difficult to self-identity that we are acting out of fear.
  - wallace_f 7y ago
    I want to believe in such a redeeming explanation for moral failings, but I think my experiences have shown that a lot of people just care about themselves, and some are enthused to defeat or put down others, even by cheating or other abuse. I wish I knew where to get help. I just want to have a normal life.