7 ms·

I find this hard to believe. Are you saying you have friends that sign up on porn sites with their real names? At which age are we talking about? I would wage

I find this hard to believe. Are you saying you have friends that sign up on porn sites with their real names? At which age are we talking about? I would wager you wouldn't talk casually about it to any prospective girlfriends, assuming you guys have any...

Raphmedia 7y ago
Of course not, that's usernames I'm talking about. We'd say "Oh, go log in as 'CoolUser69'. The password is 'hunter2'. We are sharing this account together, chip in a few bucks a month if you can" or "oh, I have a curated playlist of [XYZ category]. Look up 'CoolUser69' on [KinkySite.xxx]". The age range is 26-31 years. Both males and females. Anything from owners of small web development agencies to university students or government office workers. I attempt to keep a diverse social group. I am female and currently in a stable relationship. There has never been a person I have been in a relationship with that didn't know my kinks and turn-ons. I am not sure how that would work exactly.
- codesushi42 7y ago
  Yes, but you may be talking about your social circle. I am skeptical that casually sharing your porn habits is going to be seen as acceptable and normal in the eyes of most of your peers. I'm a few years from the age range you mentioned, and I can't say I have seen the same level of openness. Not even close.
  - Raphmedia 7y ago
    Values change wildly depending on where you are from. I am mostly talking about second and third generation atheists from Montréal and the surrounding region. The way of life is obliviously very different than what it would be in let's say, conservative southern USA. That being said, being open about sexuality brings openness. For example, I had a very long conversation with a woman from Haiti this last weekend. She has a lot of questions and we talked about everything from the existence of female orgasms to gender identities and sexuality. I could literally see the weight and shame lift off her shoulders as I explained and normalized concepts for her.
    - codesushi42 7y ago
      I am not arguing the merits of openness, or whatever. But you don't need to travel all of the way to southern US to find that most people even in that age range aren't open about sharing their porn habits. Claiming there would be no consequences from sharing publicly is unrealistic at best and dishonest at worst.
      - Raphmedia 7y ago
        Using Southern US was simply an overstatement. I'm sure I could look at my neighbours from the same appartment block and find people who are not as open about all of this. Could you provide examples on where disclosing your sexual preferences could be hurtful or dangerous? I honestly cannot imagine any situation except some edge cases where illegal habits are involved. (E.g. a high school teacher that searches for pornography involving people roleplaying as minors.) The only other situation that comes to my mind is people not out of the closet being found out and outed before being ready.
        hnaccy 7y ago
        It would be hurtful because it would negatively impact your social relations since it's unusual to be so open and there are a number of legal sexual interests that many find distasteful or even revolting.
        Raphmedia 7y ago
        You make your own social circle and only you can choose who you spend time with. If you are someone open about sexuality, then chances are that you will surround yourself with people who find this natural. I absolutely reject the normalization of puritan values you are pushing. There is nothing abnormal and unusual at all about being learned about human sexuality and discussing the subject with friends. Yes, it can be something that does not attract you. You cannot, however, make such claims and present them as facts. Being open about sexuality does not mean that you are socially awkward. Of course you need to read the room first. I would never assault someone with facts about sexuality and find it extremely distasteful when someone does so myself. You can be open about your sexuality while staying polite and professional. Being socially revolting is a character trait and has nothing to do with sexuality. For example, I would never talk about sexual encounters with anyone from my office. I will, however, demystify and explain the details of sexuality and kinks if I hear people spreading stereotypes. Talking with your close social circle at a bar or a house-party is not the same game as talking with co-workers or strangers. Nor is talking about your personal sex life the same thing as discussing the subject of human sexuality. I have been talking about sexuality a lot in this thread and I strongly doubt that I have been revolting or distasteful about it.
  - stordoff 7y ago
    I'm in that age range (29), and I've never seen that (UK). It's not out of shame, or even any particular secrecy - it just doesn't come up, and would feel a little weird to bring up.

Raphmedia 7y ago

Of course not, that's usernames I'm talking about. We'd say "Oh, go log in as 'CoolUser69'. The password is 'hunter2'. We are sharing this account together, chip in a few bucks a month if you can" or "oh, I have a curated playlist of [XYZ category]. Look up 'CoolUser69' on [KinkySite.xxx]". The age range is 26-31 years. Both males and females. Anything from owners of small web development agencies to university students or government office workers. I attempt to keep a diverse social group. I am female and currently in a stable relationship. There has never been a person I have been in a relationship with that didn't know my kinks and turn-ons. I am not sure how that would work exactly.

codesushi42 7y ago
Yes, but you may be talking about your social circle. I am skeptical that casually sharing your porn habits is going to be seen as acceptable and normal in the eyes of most of your peers. I'm a few years from the age range you mentioned, and I can't say I have seen the same level of openness. Not even close.
- Raphmedia 7y ago
  Values change wildly depending on where you are from. I am mostly talking about second and third generation atheists from Montréal and the surrounding region. The way of life is obliviously very different than what it would be in let's say, conservative southern USA. That being said, being open about sexuality brings openness. For example, I had a very long conversation with a woman from Haiti this last weekend. She has a lot of questions and we talked about everything from the existence of female orgasms to gender identities and sexuality. I could literally see the weight and shame lift off her shoulders as I explained and normalized concepts for her.
  - codesushi42 7y ago
    I am not arguing the merits of openness, or whatever. But you don't need to travel all of the way to southern US to find that most people even in that age range aren't open about sharing their porn habits. Claiming there would be no consequences from sharing publicly is unrealistic at best and dishonest at worst.
    - Raphmedia 7y ago
      Using Southern US was simply an overstatement. I'm sure I could look at my neighbours from the same appartment block and find people who are not as open about all of this. Could you provide examples on where disclosing your sexual preferences could be hurtful or dangerous? I honestly cannot imagine any situation except some edge cases where illegal habits are involved. (E.g. a high school teacher that searches for pornography involving people roleplaying as minors.) The only other situation that comes to my mind is people not out of the closet being found out and outed before being ready.
      - hnaccy 7y ago
        It would be hurtful because it would negatively impact your social relations since it's unusual to be so open and there are a number of legal sexual interests that many find distasteful or even revolting.
        Raphmedia 7y ago
        You make your own social circle and only you can choose who you spend time with. If you are someone open about sexuality, then chances are that you will surround yourself with people who find this natural. I absolutely reject the normalization of puritan values you are pushing. There is nothing abnormal and unusual at all about being learned about human sexuality and discussing the subject with friends. Yes, it can be something that does not attract you. You cannot, however, make such claims and present them as facts. Being open about sexuality does not mean that you are socially awkward. Of course you need to read the room first. I would never assault someone with facts about sexuality and find it extremely distasteful when someone does so myself. You can be open about your sexuality while staying polite and professional. Being socially revolting is a character trait and has nothing to do with sexuality. For example, I would never talk about sexual encounters with anyone from my office. I will, however, demystify and explain the details of sexuality and kinks if I hear people spreading stereotypes. Talking with your close social circle at a bar or a house-party is not the same game as talking with co-workers or strangers. Nor is talking about your personal sex life the same thing as discussing the subject of human sexuality. I have been talking about sexuality a lot in this thread and I strongly doubt that I have been revolting or distasteful about it.
- stordoff 7y ago
  I'm in that age range (29), and I've never seen that (UK). It's not out of shame, or even any particular secrecy - it just doesn't come up, and would feel a little weird to bring up.